Vader's Dark Angel
by Cariel
Summary: Dormé, former handmaiden to Senator Amidala, is torn between her loyalities to her mistress's memory and her growing affections for Lord Vader. When Vader's eyes finally turn her way, can she continue resisting?
1. Personal Touch

A/N: Takes place in the same universe as _Unwavering Loyalties_.

* * *

It did not take long to trace the origin of the transmission to the Rebels. Despite what others may say, Dormé was not heartless or an 'ice queen'. In fact, the discovery of the mole filled her with such disappointment. The man who had been Senator Amidala's head of security betrayed her memory!

_Captain Typho…why? How could you? We depended on you for her life and you failed her. And now, after her death, you tarnish her memory. You deserve a traitor's death!_

But Typho was the mole she had been diligently looking for and it was Dormé who ordered his execution.

On her orders, the stormtroopers led pursuit, but it was her former mentor, Lady Saché Maberrie who administered the killing shot. Despite this, Dormé was unconvinced of the security lieutenant's loyalties. Dormé was well aware of Lady Saché's intimate relations with the captain and felt it was only a matter of time before she found evidence of her co-partnership in the betrayal. When her disappointment in the captain receded, Typho and Maberrie were dead to her. They would pay for their insurrection.

For now, she had her regular duties to attend to and she focused on the task at hand. Upon finding the information she needed on two rebel agents posing as imperial officers, she collected the data and encrypted it before setting off to deliver them personally to Lord Vader. Though she was well aware he was still on his mission to Kessel, she wanted to be sure the data wouldn't fall into the wrong hands, especially after the recent events.

Dormé was the only person who had access to Vader's private chambers. Not even the Emperor had free entry. As she entered, thoughts of their last meeting rushed to the forefront of her thoughts preventing her from noticing that anyone had followed her inside.

Just after placing the datapad on the table, she was accosted by Saché. A flicker of fear ran through her as she felt the cold metal of one of Saché's blade pointed at her throat. She barely managed to gasp, 'What is the meaning of this?' as she was forced backward against the wall.

Startled, but not completely shaken she glared at the older woman. She thought perhaps the death of her lover, at her own hands no less, had driven her mad if the look in her eyes was any testament to it.

Saché's expression was cool and calculating, a far cry from the passionate woman she normally was. She said nothing, but drew another blade, this one aimed at Dormé's torso.

So this was it, was it? Dormé figured Saché was going to kill her for turning over Typho and ordering his execution. 'Killing me won't bring him back,' she said softly, her own voice emotionless as she stared the traitor down. 'And your pathetic attempt to cover your own tracks by executing him yourself did not fool me.'

Lucky for Dormé, the wall she was pressed up against had a console to which she covertly thumbed as Saché glared at her, something of a fire dancing in her eyes to accompany her cryptic smile.

Though her frightened heart pounded in her chest, her voice was smooth as silk. 'When Vader learns of your sedition, doubt not how quickly your blood will be spilt,' Dormé added, not even contemplating what her own death could possibly mean to him.

'Dormé, you foolish girl…' Saché began as she taunted her with the knife at her throat, about to administer a fatal blow.

Dormé was unable to hide her fear now. Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes wavered as she inwardly screamed for someone to save her.

'When Lord Vader returns,' Saché continued, eerily calm, 'you will already be dead and I will be shortly there after. That's the beautiful thing about justice; in the end you always get what you deserve.'

But before the dagger could do any damage, Lieutenant Piett rushed through the unlocked doors of Vader's quarters flanked by six stormtroopers. Aiming his blaster at the woman, he ordered, 'Drop it.'

Saché didn't listen and sliced Dormé's torso, wounding her though not deeply for the clones had already began firing.

Dormé cried out as the metal cut her, the other knife nicking her neck. But once Saché was a lifeless corpse from their blaster fire, she went straight over to Piett, tossing her arms around his neck. Her hero! She clung to him, shaking slightly from the frightening ordeal.

With the woman in his arms, Firmus ordered the troops to collect the traitor's body and take her to the lab should Vader wish to peruse it later. When they were left alone in Vader's quarter's Firmus tried to comfort her. 'It's over now, milady. The traitor will not harm you now.'

There were no tears in her eyes as she pulled her head up from his shoulder and released her grip slightly. 'Thank you,' she murmured.

Firmus couldn't help studying her full lips and catch the soft aromatic scent that was quintessentially Dormé. 'It was nothing, milady,' he replied, a slight catch in his voice. She was so close…but he knew of her intense loyalty to Vader and he had studied her from afar, getting the sense that her loyalty did not stop at imperial duties. She would never fancy him in the way she did Vader.

'But you saved me!' she insisted. 'I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.' Dormé was increasingly aware at just how close to death she had been. 'I could have died!' Though handmaidens were supposed to be ready to give their life for their mistress at any time, Dormé had led a relatively sheltered existence. Throughout her years of service, she had lived through Cordé and Versé's death, but Moteé took over the role as decoy at Cordé's passing and she remained a handmaiden. Dormé gave his cheek a kiss as she whispered her thanks once more before stepping out of his embrace.

Calming down, her thoughts returned to her duty and she eyed the datapad she had brought here to leave for Vader. 'If you will excuse me, I need to tidy up here before Lord Vader returns,' she said, indicating the blaster fire on the walls and the blood on the carpeting.

'Certainly droids could see to it,' Firmus offered.

'Lord Vader prefers my personal touch,' she responded with a hint of a smile.

'I imagine he would,' Firmus replied, adding wistfully, 'as any man would prefer a woman's touch.'

Dormé sent him an appreciative and nearly sincere smile at that remark, her eyes lightening at the thought. When given the opportunity, she mused, Lieutenant Piett certainly had a way with words.

She watched in silence as he turned on his heels and left. She then moved to lock Vader's quarters once more so she could attend to clean up duty.

* * *

A/N: Thank you to Jody for allowing me to borrow Saché. More to follow. I'm just not sure when!

Coming soon: dramatic-personae . net / lovesponge


	2. Chemical Reactions

After her near brush with death, Dormé had never been so relieved to hear of Vader's return less than an hour later. She had seen to it that his quarters were spotless and that the data she acquired was in full view upon entering. She then visited the medical centre to have her wounds attended to. It was nothing a bit of Bacta would not take care of. There would be no permanent scarring. 

Her dearest friend, Moteé, who was stationed on another vessel with her current flame, Lieutenant Veers, was quick to hear of the news and contacted her straightaway to see that she was OK. She assured Moteé that she was all right, but Moteé went off about Saché, completely shocked and personally offended by Saché's insurrection. Dormé's lips twisted into a malevolent smile at the thought.

It seemed like such a long time ago, though it was only a few years ago, when they were inducted into the Empire's service. Even then, Saché had been impertinent.

_'Milord, I do not see why we are forced to leave our own quarters while you conduct your business. Perhaps you should be the one who steps outside,' said Saché, obviously annoyed._

_Even then, Dormé could sense the tension between her former trainer and the Dark Lord._

_'Your presence is not required at this time Lady Saché. Now leave while you still can.'_

_The audacity that she would suggest_ he l_eave! Though bristling, Dormé remained silent, trying her best to withhold things she would like to say to Saché. As always, it was best not to say anything, especially to superiors without being spoken to first. She had learnt this lesson in handmaiden training and learnt it well._

_Once they were alone, Dormé struggled even harder not to move to embrace him, to comfort him in their mutual sorrow for the passing of Padmé. She knew nothing surrounding the circumstances of her death, nor was she aware just how Anakin suffered: that his master betrayed him. She could not, however, resist taking a step closer to him._

_He addressed her. 'I thank you for your patience. Your_ sister _could use to learn that trait from you, as well as a little humility.'_

_At his compliment, which she knew he so rarely gave aside from the praises he lavished on Padmé, she bowed her head in humble acceptance before returning her eyes to strain to see his behind the mask._

_He was silent for a moment before he asked, 'Do you know why I wish to speak with you?'_

_'I pray the reason is so that I may, even in some small way, continue to serve--' She broke off unable to say Padmé's name for it ached to form the syllables, 'to serve_ her _family,' she replied quietly._

_Dormé wondered with all of his new powers if he could read her thoughts. She so desperately wanted to ask what happened to him, how he came to be this wounded, and who was responsible for it for she would stop at nothing to see to it he gave them the retribution they deserved. Perhaps he already had and this flickered within her a sense of pride._

_When Anakin—_Vader_—placed a hand on her shoulder she bit her newfound trembling lip, for fear she would allow tears to escape._

_'I understand where your true loyalties lie,' he said, 'for that is why I am here. I would like it very much if you could continue to serve— The Empire needs someone with your skills and fierce loyalty. If you wish to continue your services, I would appreciate it if you did so in this fashion.'_

_Dormé nearly gave in to the tears when he strained to speak of Padmé, but could not, but instead placed a hand over his, finding strength from this gesture. 'Thank you, my lord,' she replied in a soft voice, so grateful to be given this chance. In time, she hoped this service would aid in her healing, as well as his_.

When the familiar laden footsteps of Lord Vader clamoured towards his quarters, Dormé's thoughts returned to the present. She moved to the refrigeration unit to retrieve a bottle of his favourite beverage, figuring he would no doubt be parched after his journey.

Vader entered, breathing hard and straining to get out of the mask as quickly as possible.

Dormé did not say a word as she took a glass from the cupboard and poured the green liquid into it.

'I would she were still alive so I could kill her with my bare hands,' Vader hissed, ripping off the last of the helmet's attachments.

Dormé placed the glass on the table a bit disappointed he had not noticed the datapad, but knowing he was justified in his rage. She did not blame him for his anger at the traitor, Saché Maberrie, however, she did not expect that it had anything to do with the fact Saché had nearly killed her.

Once he finished pacing and cursing the dead woman in Huttese, she felt his eyes on her while she was preparing something for him to eat as well. She watched from the corner of her eye as he drank the entire contents of the glass in one gulp. Her heart went out to him when she saw his eyes soften. He seemed to calm down, but appearances can be deceiving.

She jumped slightly when he slammed the glass down so hard that it shattered. Dormé swiftly left off fixing the meal to clean up the broken glass.

'No—leave it,' he said.

She tossed him an incredulous look as if to say, 'if I don't clean it up, who will?' but he grabbed her wrist with one hand, his other went to her waist. Dormé winced for her side wound had not fully healed, but she left cleaning and looked up into his eyes.

He promptly released her when she winced, his hand slipping from her waist, up her back, and she studied his eyes to find out why, but to no avail.

'Let me see it,' he said firmly.

She furrowed her brow, momentarily unsure what he was talking about. Her first thought was that it was to do with the data she retrieved, but then she remembered he had not even noticed it. He meant her wound. She opened her mouth slightly to reply that it was fine, but the look in his eyes seemed to urge her on. With care, she removed her officer's jacket and pulled the shirt underneath up slightly to reveal the healing knife wound.

He placed a hand over the wound and closed his eyes. She watched him curiously until he stroked his thumb over the now slightly pink, healed skin. Her mouth dropped open, though she knew she should not underestimate the extent of his abilities.

'Thank—' she was about to say, but her expression of appreciation was stunted by his lips covering hers.

This kiss was unlike the first they had shared before his departure: innocent and sorrowful. It was as though he were taking all of her, consuming her, leaving her gasping for air. Breathless and light-headed from panting for oxygen, Dormé made the conscious decision that it was only fair she take back what he had taken from her.

Demure no longer, Dormé pressed herself against him, taking him in fully, without restraint, as she returned his passionate kiss with one of her own. She had never felt so _alive_. Though in the back of her head she associated it with the escape from an attempted murder, she was still oblivious to the fact that he was responding to that as well, that his actions were because of her. In truth, Dormé did not care why and wanted to take full advantage of this opportunity.

_Oh, Ani… Ani… _she thought.

It was not until he responded in kind, matching her intensity and initiating the further removal of inhibiting clothing that it started to fall into place. She could barely believe it was possible: that he might have feelings for her. But soon, it was hard to think coherently, let alone register that they were now in his bedroom, for the fire within had already sparked to a growing flame. There was no escape from the all-consuming flames.

* * *

A/N: Damn evil plotbunnies from hell! 

More coming sooner than any of us would like...


	3. Denied

A/N: You really shouldn't encourage me >> You still have the chance to turn back now. In fact, for your mental health and stability, it might be for the best...

* * *

_No one but a woman can help a man when he is in trouble of the heart, and he had no one to comfort him. _**—**Stoker's _Dracula  
_

In her dreams, Dormé pictured herself robed in dark purple, the richest fabrics, and a humble, yet elegant diadem on her head. Her arm linked with the noble Dark Lord, they stood on a platform, facing their subjects. When Dormé turned to look at Vader, he wore no mask, his face was no longer scarred; it was the man she always saw when she looked into his eyes...

Stirring, she slowly awoke. When her eyes fluttered open, she was unprepared for the sighte before her and automatically cringed. She would have shrunk away had his artificial arm not been clamped vice-like around her torso.

_Oh great gods! _

Dormé could not believe things had gotten so out of hand the night before. Her near-death experience with Lady Saché aiming a knife at her throat and Vader's return had left her feeling so_ alive_ and he, oh he...

Had she not dreamt of this? Was this not what she wanted more than anything?

Memories of the previous night flooded her thoughts. The whole thing started out so sweet, she thought, but things got out of control. She had not intended—

She had to leave.

Tears came to her eyes at how she had so maliciously betrayed her mistress's memory...how she had seduced Padmé's husband... Oh she had not meant to! She had only wanted to help! There were moments last night when she felt he was not despairing, that she had helped in some way, but-- She covered her mouth as tears came to her eyes.

_Forgive me! Padmé, forgive me!_  
'Padmé…' the Sith Lord murmured as he moved to hold her closer.

_Her_ name, Dormé thought despairingly. He had just been using her as a replacement for her. Had he been so lost in the past last night that he thought she was Padmé?

_Poor Anakin!_ she thought desperately._ This is all my fault!_

Furrowing his brow in concern, he finally opened his eyes slowly as he spoke in sleepy tones of curiosity. 'What's wrong?'

Her dark eyes met his and she cursed herself for the returning desire. It was evident in his eyes that he had not expected to wake next to her. When he asked her what was wrong, she could not respond. _Everything. Everything is wrong!_ But once he drew away, she did as well, only to sit up and search for her discarded clothing.

Looking around the room it was all too evident how hasty the encounter had been and this added to her guilt that she should have been able to stop herself. Her former mistress had been the furthest thing from her mind and that was a betrayal all its own.

'We shouldn't have…done this,' she heard him whisper.

As she swiftly drew her uniform on, she couldn't honestly remember the last time she had thought of _her_, for ever since joining the Empire, thoughts of _her_ filtered away until all that remained was her loyalties to Vader.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered, her throat catching from tears that came to her eyes, but she would not shed. Looking back at him, she thought, _This is all my fault. Oh Anakin, please forgive me..._

He seemed to be studying her in an almost shy fashion. She was unaware that he thought she looked so lovely with her hair cascading past her shoulders and eyes the colour of amber…that Dormé was so much like_ her _and yet not like _her_ at all. But even without Force sensitivity, she could see his sorrow, though she assumed it was solely because of _her_.

'I'm sorry too...' he finally said, his voice heavy with shame in addition to his grief.

At his words, she had to turn away and rush to the doorway, knowing if she stayed any longer, she would succumb to her tears.

In the hallway, she wrapped her arms securely around herself as she moved straight for her own quarters, not taking in any of the looks she received from other officers because she was too consumed with her own guilt. She decided she would have to make sure Vader was not around wherever she turned. To look at him would be to remind herself of her betrayal and to taunt her with the forbidden desire that would, doubtless, resurface. It could not happen again. She would not let it. Not to see that shame in his eyes…directed at her. She would not be the further cause of his pain.

Hastily with uniform partly undone and her long, dark hair tumbling down her back, Dormé flew to her quarters. She was about to palm the door open when an eager Lieutenant Piett approached, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. 'What are you doing here?' she asked, breathless from her flight.

He seemed to be studying her curiously, but at a loss for words. She figured he was wondering why at this hour of the morning she was only just returning to her quarters.

Dormé was not in a good mood and had little patience for him, though she masked it well.

'I wanted to see if you were all right, milady, from yesterday's attack…I had gone to the medical ward, but as you were not there, I decided—well, these are for you…' he said, holding the bouquet towards her.

Confused at first, Dormé did not speak, but received the flowers. They were a specifically Naboo variety of perennials, she noted. She still felt his eyes on her as if awaiting her approval. 'They're beautiful. Thank you, Lieutenant.'

'Firmus,' he insisted.

'Pardon?' she asked, unsure what he meant having never heard that forename before.

'You may call me Firmus, if it please you, milady.'

'Firmus,' she repeated, testing the name out with her accent. She turned back to palm the door open.

Firmus's expression fell. 'You hate them, don't you?' he asked forlornly.

She turned back around in the open doorway. 'They're lovely,' she assured him sincerely.

As he smiled at her, she entered and closed the door behind her. She studied the bouquet, momentarily distracted from the memories of the night before, thoughts of which rushed back when she left the flowers on her small inn table.

For her breakfast, she retrieved a bottle of the intoxicating liquor both Vader and she had a weakness for.

_'__Can I get you something to drink?' he asked, moving to retrieve a bottle of the potent green liquor from the kitchen area._

_Her hand slipped over his that clasped the bottle. 'Allow me,' she murmured, unsure of her voice, yet feeling right in doing so._

She had only taken a sip and yet, the memories would not cease to torment her.

_'It's strong, but in moments like this some times it helps.'_

_His remark brought a mischievous smile to her face. He was quite unaware at how often she had served this to him and that she enjoyed it on occasion when no one was looking. Dormé had not ever considered that intake of alcohol to be against the handmaiden oaths like some of her fellow maidens did. She took a slow, but long sip, allowing the intoxicating contents to swirl down her throat. She drank half in that sip and set the half-empty glass on the counter. 'I have to admit it has been awhile since I have drunk of this liquor,' she murmured, her eyes darting from the glass to Vader once more._

_'I wasn't aware that we shared similar tastes. I'll have to keep that in mind in the future,' he replied with a wry, yet amused smile._

But now this liquor was not helping in any way, despite its potency. She threw the bottle and it smashed against the wall. She watched the green contents run down the wall like tears. Turning away, she left it there for the droids to clean up later and went to shower.

_Dormé had lost track of time, her thoughts dodging in and out of different tangents. Upon receiving the news of her mistress's death, she had become so withdrawn and unresponsive, overcome by despair._

_Anakin—_Vader_—came to Naboo to give her life meaning once more. She would still be able to continue to serve her mistress through him._

_Everything seemed to move at lightspeed. Before she knew it, the bags were packed and she was aboard his noble starship. Her heart raced in anticipation as one of the imperial officers showed her to her quarters. She curtsied to him and entered. Her own room! She had always shared private quarters with her fellow handmaidens, so this was an entirely new concept to her._

_She began unpacking only to see, frowning slightly, that her wardrobe and drawers had way too much room for her meagre supply of apparel. Another officer stopped by to have her fitted for an imperial uniform and, after that was completed, they issued her a few pairs which filled a little more space. But before she had time to think much more on this, she received a message from Lord Vader._

_Unfortunately, Dormé was not familiar with the large ship and had to ask for directions to Lord Vader's personal quarters._

_One of the officer's was kind enough to show her the way, but he insisted Lord Vader was not to be bothered and that no one was allowed in that wing, not even the Emperor._

_'Thank you,' she replied a bit curtly, though she did not reveal that he had personally requested her presence as it was not his business. She did take note, in the back of her mind, that it was forbidden for even Palpatine to enter._

_The officer shook his head, muttering something about taking her life into her hands as he walked off swiftly in the other direction._

_Unconcerned, Dormé proceeded cautiously through the 'forbidden' wing, wondering where the door panel was. Everything was so black and blue, it was hard to make out where one wall started and another ended. Then the flickering of some small red lights drew her attention and she meandered towards it._

_The door slid open without her even touching the console, it gave her a bit of a start, but she entered without intimidation. Dormé stepped inside, barely having a chance to take in much of the elegant decor when he approached to greet her._

_'Lady Dormé, thank you for coming,' he stated. Without the inhibiting mask, it was so clearly Anakin's voice that her insides gave a light flutter, though she was unable to register just why she reacted in that way._

_Silently, she bowed to him in greeting before looking up to him. The lights played precariously around his form and at first, it was difficult to make out his features. But as she took a small step towards him, the grotesque features became clearer._

_The vision before her was astonishing. Though Vader had confronted her once before on Naboo with his taller form towering over her (with a few inches added from the new limbs) and the large mask concealing his face from view, Dormé felt that standing before him now, unmasked and out of the protective suit, that he was even more of a domineering figure. The healing, deep scars on his face caused her to shrink back slightly, but she soon compensated for the initial shock as a sublime curiosity overtook her. Just how bad were the rest of his wounds and how they had come about were questions nagging her, urging her to remain still._

_She unconsciously blushed, bowing her head in shame for having such a reaction to him. She had not anticipated that she would be able to see him without the protective suit and helmet, but now felt honoured that he would allow her to. When she raised her head to look back at him, her eyes filled with sorrow for him._

_'There is no need to be shamed for you are the not one who did this to me.'_

_At his words, she stopped rebuking herself for the reaction and she furrowed her brow, angry at the person, whomever was responsible. For someone to take a hand against the most gallant knight was an offence it hurt to fathom._

_Dormé wanted nothing more than to take away all the pain he had suffered, for her, for their most sacred love that the Jedi Council refused to allow or acknowledge. How for so many months __she_ had to hide the secret of their child because of the shame it would bring to Anakin.

_She sighed softly._

_'I know you have many questions, of which I'd rather not answer, but I will do my best.'_

_She watched Vader closely as he moved about the quarters. Despite the atrocities committed against him, he was still able to hold himself up tall and walk with such confidence as he always exuded. It showed much for his character and, for that, she admired him all the more._

_He bore his own troubles so bravely that her heart bled for him._

_When he motioned for her to sit down, Dormé found a seat though she kept her eyes on him. She was about to object that certainly he did not have to speak about anything that she was so curious about. __I wish I could comfort all you suffer from within. Will you let me be your friend and will you come to me for comfort if you need it?_ she thought desperately.

As she was changing into a fresh uniform, she couldn't help but recall Padmé having to goad Anakin into talking to her, sometimes resorting to her 'feminine wiles' to get him to open up about anything. But that had never been the case with her. He opened up to her freely, speaking on the events of the past, even shedding tears in front of her, and lamenting the loss of his family.

Dormé knew the real Anakin. Padmé always ignored his darker tendencies, blamed them on stress. Dormé did not place blame anywhere except on herself. Anakin was free of it.

She resolved she would no longer be able to be in his noble presence anymore lest she give in to her desires and seduce him once more. But before setting about her duties, she could not resist stopping by his quarters to turn down his bed and tidy up one last time. But to her shock and horror:

**ACCESS DENIED** flashed blaringly at her, lit in an uncompromising red.

'No, no…' she hissed at the panel, swiping her hand again. After the sixth try, she gave in to the truth and sullenly went about her daily security detail.


	4. Heart in Chains

It seemed like a lifetime ago, to Dormé, that she had been serving in Senator Amidala's entourage. Her life had been given new meaning and all she was in service of the Empire and Vader. While her former mentor Saché and others were assigned as Intelligence and Security officers, Vader handpicked Dormé to serve as his personal eyes and ears, to report any dissent within the ranks. This also meant that they would have frequent contact, often in person.

Dormé had never expected to form a friendship with Lord Vader—whom she still referred to as Anakin because it would forever be the same man to her—let alone fall in love with him. Even now, this thought weighed heavily on Dormé's mind. She did not want to believe she would offend the memory of her former mistress in such a way as this. In order to convince herself it was nothing more than an adrenaline rush leading to unbridled lust, she reverted to tactics Moteé taught her back in the day.

_After an extremely stressful day in the senator's service, Moteé returned home extremely late but Dormé was still awake. 'Where were you?' _

_'Relieving stress,' she murmured, stretching out lazily on the bed. _

_Dormé shot her an incredulous look, curious as to how she could do so and how she could do the same. _

_Moteé caught the look and smirked. 'There are three stress relief tactics I always rely on. Hot showers, stiff drinks…' _

_'And the third?' _

_'Sex,' Moteé said simply. _

_Dormé's eyes widened. She had never considered such an activity in this manner, but was most eager to learn Moteé's secrets. _

_Moteé lead the way, leading her to an entertainment club. They were off duty, but they had lied to their superior handmaidens saying they were going to Moteé's relative's hotels, but little did Dormé know the night would end up there as Moteé had planned. _

_Dormé was fifteen at the time and for many nights closely observed Moteé as she flirted with confidence and ease, her biting wit and slightly allusive persona turned many eyes her way. Soon Dormé learnt her ways and was able to snag men without Moteé's help. The girls escaped the rigours of handmaiden training as often as they could, though the variety and interest was higher on Coruscant than on Naboo. And many afternoons were spent chatting about their sexual escapades. _

_Officers were the easiest and most willing prey, as the handmaidens and officers chose a lifestyle which did not lend to attachments and none were expected. _

This evening was no different. Dormé found herself in the officers' lounge were she ordered the stiffest drink possible that was not the liquor Vader and she favoured. But it was enough to take some of the edge off and that was all that mattered. She had far too much free time on her hands without the duties she performed for Vader. A few pathetic oafs attempted to 'buy her a drink' though she clearly already had one.

It was not long before her eyes settled on her intended victim, a tech officer with sandy hair and muscular arms. She chatted him up with ease only to find that her prey was too dim-witted to realise she was trying to pick him up. He kept going on about his job, not realising she did not I>care /i> about it and she quickly lost interest in him. It was not worth her time.

However, in her boredom as she glanced around the lounge, she spotted Piett sitting alone, nursing a drink. Her eyes lit up at the prospect, knowing he would do anything she pleased. Confident, it did not take her long at all to get her point across and soon they headed back to her quarters.

The longest week of Dormé's life went by. Plagued with memories of the tryst with Vader and desperately missing his friendship, she tried her best to preoccupy herself with Lieutenant Piett. Unfortunately, this led to him becoming attached to her which was something she had not intended nor wished for. His little obsession with her was cute and she did not take it seriously at first. However, unlike the other obsessed men whom she had lured into her sordid net, she could not escape him. Usually officers would be called away on missions or the handmaidens would leave with the senator, but here on this ship, there was nowhere to go. As much as duty would allow, Piett seemed to follow her everywhere so as to dote on her and do anything at her bidding. Dormé would not send him away unless he annoyed her too much for she had to admit she did enjoy the attention and the jealous looks from a few other female officers.

When Dormé received news that she was to be transferred to another ship, it did not fill her with relief.

'I will put in for a transfer as well so we can always be together,' Firmus assured her, not wanting to be parted from her. 'Milady, do not take this the wrong way, but if you should be so inclined to, I want nothing more than to be your loving husband—what I mean is—'

But Dormé was unable to hear this protestation of love, for she was consumed with the impersonal order which came directly from Vader. This transfer had nothing to do with her skills being needed elsewhere. She knew he wanted her to leave. It tore her apart and without a word to Piett, she left him, escaping to her quarters where she could cry freely without witnesses.

Yet Vader would not leave her alone. He came to her in her dreams. Sometimes she would even awaken in the middle of the night, thinking she had heard his breathing or his footsteps outside her door. Waking to find it wasn't so, she cursed herself for wishing it despite the guilt it incurred. She knew even with a transfer that she would never escape Vader. And he would never be there outside her door, not after what she had done.

The more she struggled in her waking hours not to think about him, the more her thoughts diverted to him like an addictive toxin seeping into her veins. What little time of consummated desire she indulged in only enticed her more. But what's more, she mourned that the years spent deepening their friendship had been in vain. It was her fault for giving in and she would pay for her mistake by never being able to set her eyes on him ever again

Though it was hard to forget her betrayal to her former mistress, she was also unable to forget how carefree, passionate, and, dare she say, _happy_ Vader had been during their little tryst. Despite it all, she could not wish it had not happened. After everything, she had not dared to hope that he could possibly return her growing affections, which she had just recently identified.

She could not, however, feel in any way sympathetic or compassionate for Lieutenant Piett. He was so inferior to everything she admired in Vader. But he was there when she needed him. She prevented the traitor Saché from killing her, he was not allusive about his pathetic feelings for her. He was not forbidden.

_But forbidden love is the most romantic..._ Dormé inwardly sighed as she resumed packing her belongings. She could not blame Anakin for transferring her to another vessel and she desperately wished it didn't have to end like this...

Wouldn't _she_ want him to be happy?

Then Dormé's thoughts darkened as she thrust the last of her belongings in her suitcase. Padmé never understood him... She ignored his darker side. She would not have supported this Empire. She would not have supported him...

Snapping the case shut, she stood upright, blinking back tears.

As she moved to palm the door open and get a droid to take care of her suitcase so she would not have to carry it all the way to the transport, she could have sworn she heard his footsteps. Her heart beat faster in her chest, though she mentally chided herself for getting her hopes up. He had ordered the damned transfer. There was no way it was him unless it was merely for a farewell.

She momentarily paused, tossing her hair behind her shoulders as she decided to forgo the droid and haul the suitcase herself, hoping the strain and pains in her neck and shoulder from the weight would cause enough pain to divert her thoughts from Vader.

Despite her best efforts, even the strain from the suitcase was not enough to divert her thoughts as intended. It was slowing her down as well since she had to pause quite a few times for it was just too heavy and her arms were not strong enough to carry it so far.

A few officers stopped to ask if she needed help, which to anyone was quite obvious, but she curtly replied that she was fine. Dormé did not want to talk to anyone. She did not want to see anyone.

Three-quarters of the way to the hanger, she set down the suitcase once more and frustrated, gave in to her tears. She wanted to hate Vader, so she would not ache for him as much as she did. No matter how he acted around others, what some viewed as 'crimes' committed by him in his crusade for peace, he was still so noble in her eyes that it shamed her to think of how she had inadvertently seduced him into betraying the memory of her former mistress. The woman who never really knew him, she reminded herself, though it was increasingly little comfort to her.

Guilt was an easier emotion to deal with than regret. Guilt was over something consciously done, that one had control over, but regret was over things that were out of one's control, that one did not have the power to prevent or change. And right now, the regret was winning, for she was unable to revoke the transferral and would be leaving her dearest friend and master behind to face whatever was to come...alone. This thought caused her body to shake from her quiet weeping.


	5. Resistance Subsides

_Je sais que je suis bien horrible; mais je vous aime beaucoup.  
Je suis trop heureux de ce que vous voulez bien rester ici.   
Promettez-moi que vous ne me quitterez jamais._  
(I know all too well of my own misfortunes, but I love you with the tenderest affection.  
I am too happy of this that you want well to remain here.  
Promise you will never leave me.)  
-Jeanne Marie Leprince de Beaumont _La Beauté et la Bête _

There was a lieutenant with cropped red hair, a thin nose and facial features similar to Moteé's whom Dormé spotted on a few occasions watching Vader a little too closely for Dormé's taste. Without the Force, Dormé could not read the woman's thoughts or emotions, but the looks were enough. It was not that she spotted Vader paying her any special attention. It was not the chance that the woman could be moonlighting as a Rebel spy that caught her attention. The offhand possibility that the woman might have taken interest to Vader set Dormé off in a torrent of jealous rage. If she could not be there for her dearest friend, then she would be damned if anyone else took her place!

Using her security access, she dug up all the information she could on the woman. Finding nothing that would realistically convict her of treason, she nearly lost hope. But then, an interesting fact sprung out at her: a food allergy.

Only a few hours before he scheduled departure, Dormé reprogrammed a refectory droid to include extra legumes in that evening's meal. Where a satisfied smile ought to have graced her expression when she heard about the unfortunate death, she frowned, for Dormé's thoughts were consumed with the dearest friend she was leaving behind. She felt as if she had not only failed her mistress but her friend as well. It had been her actions, her inability to resist her desires, which had ruined everything.

She knew the transport was leaving soon and that she had to go, but she found it impossible to go on.

Dormé had specifically chosen to wear a gown, for it had been ages since she was last out of uniform. She did not feel wholly herself in the imperial-issued garb and as she was off-duty, this blood-red gown was her choice of clothing. She was oblivious to the reactions of the officers as she lugged her suitcase through the halls.

Setting down her suitcase, Dormé gave in to her despair and wept openly. As she gave in to her tears, she resolved that no matter what the future held for her, she would always esteem Vader as a friend and endeavour to be satisfied with this, but even this thought would not bring her from her despair, for how could she be of any help to him so far away?

She fancied she heard his resolved footsteps nearing and she wiped her eyes, knowing she should not tarry or else the transport would leave without her. Sighing, she was about to pick up the suitcase once more when a gloved hand went to her shoulder. Dormé did not dare to hope it was he coming to say goodbye because it would be too painful to look on him again, but the haunting whisper echoed in her mind.

_Please, don't go_.

Slowly she dared to turn and look to confirm her mind was playing tricks on her, that she had not heard Anakin's voice in her head, requesting she stay. Her preconceptions proved incorrect and as she took in his commanding form, her eyes filled with tears once more. Had she imagined his words? It had been too strong...undeniable, yet she looked to him for confirmation.

He was really there. But the question remained if she had but dreamt this... Her heart soared with renewed hope as touched her cheek.

Then he spoke the aloud what she had sworn she only imagined.

'Stay...please,' he beseeched.

Those haunting, yet promising words she longed to hear. She did not notice the metallic quality to his voice through the helmet which kept him alive. The words were too precious to deny.

She gave in, crushing herself against his side, her head resting against his armoured chest as her arms wrapped tightly around him.

'I want nothing more in the entire galaxy,' she said resolutely, tears coming to her eyes, but this time for joy. Though Dormé still did not know what the future held, she no longer cared so long as she was by his side.

But after holding her some minutes, he drew took notice of her luggage and ordered one of the droids through his comm to collect the items and bring them to his quarters.

Dormé was surprised to hear this and looked to him questioningly. She gazed up at him, taking in everything she had been forced to avoid for what seemed like centuries.

'There is no point in continuing the facade any longer,' he said resolutely. 'There is no reason to hide what we already know.'

It felt like her heart started beating again, as if she had been merely a phantom going about her daily routine, halfway between the living and the dead. She would not have to leave.

Some of the passing officers took notice and it was hard not to with Dormé in her crimson gown and the sound of Vader's breathing mechanism. There were whispered questions regarding Dormé and the actions of their Dark Lord, but the superior officer was quick to shut them up lest they encourage Vader's wrath.

_Never, never again, _she assured herself, for now they would be together. She smiled at his words which filled her with such joy and contentment she could find no words to express them.

It was here in his arms that she felt complete and realisation came upon her as well. For so many years, she had watched him. She listened to him as he spoke of the atrocities the Jedi continually committed against him. How even his own master had held him back, then manipulated and so atrociously wounded him. All those years, she witnessed Padmé slighting him or dismissing his concerns, blaming it on stress or lack of a proper night's rest, not even allowing herself to consider the truth of the matter.

Dormé realised her fierce desire to protect her mistress and his relationship was not only stemmed from her penchant for epic forbidden romance stories, but out of a fierce desire to protect him...not that he would ever be in need of her, or so she would have herself believe.

_My dark angel, how I love you._

Once again, his voice, unaffected by the flames of Mustafar, whispered to her in her mind. Elated, she wanted to kiss him, but with the helmet, this proved an impossibility so she placed her lips to his armour.

Oh, never in her wildest dreams had she thought this would come to pass.

'You are my love and my life...forever,' she boldly pronounced, unaware that anyone should overhear and not caring if they did, for this was real and true and his arms around her gave her the courage to speak it.

* * *

After all they had suffered, to be able to find each other was something Dormé had never thought possible. Even when they were unaware of it themselves, their hearts had already found a similar rhythm. With all the betrayal and death surrounding them, they had finally realised they were not meant to suffer anymore and it was all right to give in to the desires. 

And what passion culminated in these desires! It was more than she felt she deserved, the love he gave to her, but she relished it more than anything in the galaxy and was only too eager to return it in full. There was as much seizing as there was surrendering; it was a perfect balance. Dormé had never experienced such elation and could not help dreaming of it which caused the hint of a smile on her lips.

It was not a few minutes after he stole a kiss that she awakened, her dark eyes settling on his studious gaze. Awaking in his arms without guilt or regret, to see him looking on her this way made her heart swell with joy. Whether consciously aware of it or not, she stole a kiss in return.

Things could not possibly be more perfect.

_And to think there will be so much more of this to come_, Dormé thought wistfully as he eagerly returned her kiss.

They continued to enjoy their time together until the sound of a comm chimed in the next room. Frowning, he drew away from the kiss, cursing in Huttese.

She groaned in annoyance at the blasted thing when he pulled away. She wanted to ignore it and clung to him.

'If it is anyone but my master, I'm going to kill them,' he muttered in annoyance as the chime repeated itself in its urgency to catch his attention.

His words reminded her of her place and she resigned, sighing.

'I'll be right back,' he assured her before leaning in to give her another kiss. 'I won't be gone long, I promise.' A mischievous smile played about his lips as he rose to slip on a robe before heading to the next room to answer the annoying chime.

With the brief interruption, Dormé pouted, but his kiss and mischievous smile lightened her mood. From the bedroom, Dormé could not make out Emperor Palpatine's voice, which pleased her as that meant Anakin would not have orders to carry out.

When he returned, she recognised his impish grin.

'See I told you I wouldn't be long,' he said, sliding back into bed next to her. 'Now, where were we?" he remarked, leaning in for another kiss.

'Did you...kill him?' she asked breathlessly between their heated kisses.

'Let's just say…He will not be interrupting…us...anymore… Nor…will anyone else…if they...value…their lives,' he murmured between kisses as a hint of a smirk played on his features.

It was his words, not his lips on her neck that caused her to chuckle. 'Good,' she replied, her voice thick, for she did not want to waste a minute with her Dark Lord.

His smile widened at her reply as her simple statement and as she pulled him into her arms, he readily returned her embrace.

'Oh Anakin,' she sighed, taking him into her arms again, 'I love you, love you...'

The comm in the other room was undeniably going off once more, but Dormé did not hear it.

Cursing softly in Huttese, he closed his eyes, sighing deeply. It was not until he pulled away, apologising, when she too heard the comm unit going off.

'I'm sorry. It is my master and he demands my presence,' he admitted regretfully as he once again grudgingly disentangled himself from her.

When he said it was his master, she offered him an apologetic look hoping they would not have to be parted for too long. The last mission had taken much longer than expected.

Once more, he paused to give her another quick kiss before quietly departing from their chambers to answer the comm.

From the other room she could hear their distinct voices, but was unable to make out what they were saying.

When he returned, cursing, her expression fell, thinking it meant he would have to leave.

His words confirmed it.

'I need to look into an attack being made on a weapon's outpost nearby. I do not think its anything serious, but my master insists I tend to it personally. I don't suppose you'd care to join me?'

When he gave her the option of going with him, her eyes lit up. 'Oh, yes, of course, I'll go with you!' Dormé rose from the bed and went over to her suitcase, which had not even been touched since the day before, and rifled through it for her uniform which she began to put on.

Approaching her quietly he slipped a hand to her arm as he moved to stop her. When he slipped his hand over her arm, she looked at him curiously, momentarily considering that he might have changed his mind about her coming with him.

'There is no need to wear that anymore,' he remarked, 'it's beneath you.' His tone was gentle but serious and he accented it by touching her cheek. His tender smile made her heart soar.

Dormé tossed the uniform back in the suitcase, pleased by this. She had never much cared for it, but respected her position and duty to be honoured to wear it. Now it was _beneath_ her. She did not have to ask for reassurance that this was the case, she felt it.

'What about that lovely gown you wore yesterday?' he suggested

The mention of her favourite gown brought a mischievous grin to her face. 'I think that would be perfect,' she said, pausing to give him another kiss before changing.

Once dressed, Dormé set about doing her hair and decided to forgo pining it all up. After all, she figured, it really wouldn't go with this gown. Might as well leave part of it down, she thought, appraising herself in the mirror.

Turning around, she watched him for a moment as he put on his armour. Though she normally would rush straight over to assist him silently, she could not help taking a moment to observe him from afar.

This was her Dark Lord and what a noble figure, she noted, her breath taken away as if it were the first time she ever laid eyes on him. So gallant and true...and all hers... Her eyes shined with adoration and deep affection.

Once he finished hooking his belt and looked back at her, matching her gaze, she smiled at him.

'So lovely,' he murmured.

He seemed to be of the same mind, for she too wanted to take advantage of what time they did have together and was soon drawing her into fiery kiss which she ardently returned.

* * *

A/N: I can't wait to read Vader's version of this story, Jody! ¬prods you into typing up your chapters¬ 


	6. Conquered

_Together we fly  
Together we fall  
Together we all see  
The death of it all  
_ -Rob Zombie

Vader and Dormé walked side by side through the hallways to the bridge of the ship. Dormé felt lingering looks from various officers, but her eyes were only on her dearest Dark Lord and did not pay them heed. It seemed the rebels were far more trained and prepared than anticipated.

'Prepare my shuttle,' Vader stated in firm tones, 'we will be departing for the surface immediately.'

As the officers reported, she remained silent and supportive, rewarded with a glance from her beloved. Though she was unable to feel his emotions or even see him smirk, the mask was not so dark that she could not see his eyes. She smiled at him, eager to watch him in action for it had been too long.

She made a note to herself that she would have to tell him how she adored the confidence he conveyed in each action, in each word...how it amused her how utterly terrified the officers seemed whenever he was around. It filled her with such pride for him.

Far below on the surface of the moon, word reached the Alliance Captain that something had gone terribly wrong. Communications was beginning to falter before finally dying out as one by one their comrades' ships began to fall prey to the approaching Imperial Fleet…

* * *

**As recalled to other Alliance members:**

'They came out of the smoke: a woman in a gown of crimson as if stained by the blood of her victims, and a monster clad in black, his breathing distorted and ominous through his mask.

'Goddess of Death, I pray to thee. Do not let us suffer needlessly! If death awaits, let it come swiftly!

'An officer trapped by exploded rubbish was the first the goddess spotted, pointing him out to her death mate.

'The blazing red sword, the colour of her gown, was brandished high and took the soul for his queen. She cackled loudly, he cackled lowly.

'The goddess's thirst was not yet quenched.

'Another and another, one after the other was killed mercilessly at her bidding.

'When I expected the killing to be through, she set her sights on me. I continued fruitlessly to pray to her, to all of the gods, but no one seemed to listen to my cry.

'She paused in front of me, tilted her head to the side as if to judge me. The incarnation of her power strode to her side, his sword blaring bright, but she put up her hand. "Leave her," she whispered, her voice melodious. I could not help but stare wide-eyed and unbelieving.

"Spare her so that she may tell our tale to serve as a warning to others who seek to interfere with the Empire."

'And this is what I do, from this day forth. I live to tell of the horrors I have seen to serve as a warning to the Alliance... The Goddess's thirst will never be quenched. The Goddess of Death will show no mercy! The sword is always stained with blood!'

* * *

_The Valkyrie at my side is shouting and laughing with the pure, hateful, bloodthirsty joy of the slaughter... and so am I._  
– Sin City

Never before had Dormé been given the honour of seeing her Dark Lord in action like this. It was a venerable sight to behold, one which she would not soon forget. Effortlessly, his blade slashed through his opponents, barely allowing screams to escape their throats before being singed with the crimson lightsaber.

Walking through the battlefield unarmed was dangerously exciting and the thrill of each blaster shot heading in her direction being deflected by his lightsaber caused her blood to rush through her veins.

She fed off his displays of might being equally fierce in her direction in the battle's aftermath, pointing out remaining victims to bask in each of his conquering blows.

It was unclear how it came about, but she had an epiphany when she spotted the young rebel which she allowed to go free. It gave her a sense of power and pride that she had never felt so strongly before. She was as proud of the Empire's victory at her beloved's hand as she was of the masterpiece they created. How could she resist letting one live to speak of it—to tell the galaxy what awaited them should they resist?

Left alone amidst the order they restored, she wanted nothing more than to kiss her King and hold him close, but such a thing was not possible here do to the injuries Kenobi dealt him. As if sensing this strong desire, she felt his hand slip to her waist as they move to depart. As much as she relished their masterpiece, she had seen enough and was eager to celebrate.

Just how in accord they were was not lost to Dormé as the pair moved together through the hallways and back to their quarters, though her eyes remained on him the entire time.

Upon returning to their chambers, she was quick to help Anakin remove his helmet. Once free from his mask, she was thankful for the strong arms around her which aided her as she stood on tiptoe to fervently meet his kiss.

_My love, you are as beautiful as you are deadly._

The whispered thought made her smile, feeling as though they were the sole rulers of this Empire. And in a sense, they were. Who else could have created such order from Chaos?

_A more noble and gallant knight I have never known_, she thought. _And mine, all mine..._

As he drew back slightly, a smirk played on his features as touched her cheek gently. 'I do believe celebratory drinks are in order,' he murmured before moving to grab two glasses and a bottle of their favourite potent drink.

She was perfectly beaming, her cheeks slightly flushed as she nodded. She walked with him to the kitchen area, but allowed him to fetch the glasses and bottle of liquor, never taking her adoring glance from his ennobled form.

Returning her gaze, he gave another proud smile.

She always loved it when he smiled, noting the hint of mischievousness in it that made her heart race and her blood heat under his gaze.

'You were magnificent today. Never in my life have I ever seen such nobility under fire. You truly are a Queen.' He moved to give her another brief kiss as he added with a proud smirk, 'My Queen.'

Dormé's slightly flushed cheeks burnt further at his compliment. Her hand slid over his which rested on the counter as he leant in to give her another brief kiss. 'I have been so honoured to have been given the chance to see you in action, my beloved Dark Lord,' she replied huskily before returning his kiss with one of her own. 'It is not an experience I will forget, but covet it for eternity.'

When he pulled back slightly, seeming to grow almost shy, she studied him with a possessiveness she never felt so intensely before.

'I will cherish this moment forever, my love,' he said huskily as he leant his forehead against hers.

She smiled, rubbing his hand contently.

Upon drawing back slightly, he studied her for a moment as his expression grew almost shy. 'Actually, I would be honoured if you were to stand by my side and join me throughout all of my missions.'

Her eyes widened at the suggestion and her heart filled with such joy, she could not resist throwing her arms around him and kissing him once more.

When they parted Dormé replied sheepishly, 'Yes...I mean, I be honoured to accompany you, my love.' She caressed his scarred cheek as she spoke.

'Had I known you would have been this eager, I would have asked sooner,' he remarked with a grin as he leant into her touch. Brushing back a strand of her hair from her cheek, his expression softened. 'Thank you,' he sincerely added.

The timing was perfect for him to ask her. He couldn't have picked a better time and smiling, she just shook her head. Once again her cheeks flushed at his sincere expression of gratitude. If anything, her gratitude matched his. 'Thank _you_,' she replied softly.

After a moment, Dormé moved to fill their glasses, saying, 'I think we definitely have much to celebrate this evening.' She handed a glass to him, raising hers. It intrinsically reminded her of the first time she had come to his quarters years ago, when they toasted to the future. The future was here. Her eyes lit on fire.

At her words, his smile turned into a smirk. 'Indeed we do. To think this is but the beginning…' He took his glass letting his fingers briefly touch hers. 'To our future. May it always be filled with moments like this and may all who stand in our paths burn in the flames of our fire.'

Dormé's glass clinked to his after the toast and as she took a long leisurely sip, her eyes never left his. It was so overwhelmingly wonderful to think there would be so many more celebrations of this nature to come.

'It is too bad we can't be there to learn of the Rebel's reaction to our little...visit.' He chuckled softly at the thought.

'A shame really,' she replied seriously though a hint of an impish smile gracefully working its way on to her features.

'I can only imagine we've made quite the impression, you and I.' He slipped an arm around her slender waist and tossed her a coy smile.

She pressed herself against him, wanting to always be as close to her Dark Lord as possible. Her own free hand explored the well-toned muscles of his chest as she spoke, 'And to think this will not be the last, my beloved.'

For years they had denied what they had only just fully realised to be true: that they were meant to be together as one--that their souls were forever entwined. Where her affections ended, his began and thus the all-consuming fire of their love would never be extinguished.  
'I have never been so happy in my life and I have you to thank for that,' he murmured, studying her features, relishing the look of love that weighed heavy in her eyes and the smile that danced on her lips.

She was touched by his words and this was evident in her expression. Dorme's hand slipped from his chest to caress his cheek momentarily, saying, 'Anakin, I want for nothing when you are by my side. Your happiness is my own.'

'You are my universe, Dormé. When you are by my side nothing else matters,' he murmured in reply as a gentle smiled crossed his features.

She smiled adoringly at him as her hand returned to his chest. 'I am so grateful to hold your heart for I love you so very much.'

At her final words he tightened his embrace as his eye opened once more to gaze lovingly at her. His hand slipped to her cheek now as he leant closer to her. "You will always hold my heart, my love, just as I am so honoured to be able to hold yours."

Though she was unable to feel his joy, she could hear it in his voice and see it in his blue eyes. She did not know how she existed before they acknowledged their feelings for he truly was her other half and she wanted nothing more than to be with him, so long as she made him happy. She set her glass down on the counter before embracing him once more.

They shared a pure kiss that could not be matched by any before this moment. Here she had first spoken with her dearest friend and it was here that she first took in all of him. If she were to die, this is where she would choose to. There was something unearthly about it as if they had already ascended to a higher place which was unreachable to anyone else.

When they parted, she rested her head on his chest, holding him possessively.

Closing his eyes he let his hand run through her dark hair enjoying the silky feel between his fingers as he sighed in contentment.

Dormé loved the way it felt in his arms, to have him running his fingers through her hair and both feel and hear his contented sigh. It was so wonderful to be loved like this and to be able to share such precious moments with him. However, her thoughts turned to their glorious battle and recalled how dominating he was, feeling a rush of pride at the thought. She could not help but wonder if he considered ruling the Empire as he would always rule in her heart. 'Have you ever thought about ruling the Empire yourself?' she wondered offhandedly. 'After seeing you today...your powers...the way they cowered in fear...I just can't help but wonder if you ever thought about it.' It was more hypothetical than something for Palpatine to be concerned with. Dormé was curious by nature and very proud of her Dark Lord. She wanted whatever would make him happy and couldn't help consider the possibility that he might desire to rule.

At her question, Anakin's eyes opened as he furrowed his brow. '...Politics isn't something that interests me,' he admitted carefully before glancing away momentarily. When he returned his attentions to her once more, he shyly continued, 'To be honest, the thought of ruling an empire is a bit...overwhelming. Frightening even…'

Noting his furrowed brow and sheepishness, she felt a pang of guilt for having brought it up. She too had never been much interested in politics. Though her background in handmaiden training had covered some political content, most of her training was physical. When he admitted to rule would be overwhelming and even a bit scary, she took it in empathetically. 'I'm not exactly politically savvy either,' she said shyly.

Giving her a gentle but shy smile, he touched her cheek. 'You always understand,' he admitted quietly the relief evident in his voice.

She was of the same mind as Anakin. It was true, there was no one else in the universe who understood her the way he did. 'I do think that if anyone could do it, you could.' She had so much faith in her friend and dearest love that she could not help but express it. She smiled at him and gave him a squeeze to accent her feelings.

His expression turned sheepish again as he bowed his head shyly in reply. 'I think you have to be the only person in this universe who thinks I'm capable of such a position.'

His remark and wry grin while sweet was a bit disheartening. He truly didn't think himself capable of such a responsibility and with how much respect and love she held for him, she didn't want such a thing to stand in the way of his destiny.

'I know you'd make a wonderful Empress. After all, you already are to me…my beautiful queen and angel. I just fear I may not be worthy to stand by your side as an Emperor…that I would bring shame to you somehow.'

His humbleness made her shy and she felt her cheeks burning at his words. 'You would never bring shame to me, Anakin... I would be more afraid of causing you dishonour somehow...'

As her cheeks warmed and her expression turned shy, he touched her cheek once more. Her words made his heart both swell and ache. 'Dormé you could never bring me dishonour. You are my pride and joy, the true light of my life.'

When she raised her eyes to look back at him once more, she said with a slightly mischievous and almost teasing voice, 'If I were an Empress, I would not choose another to stand by my side except my King and dearest love. No one is more deserving.'

He laughed pulling her close once more as he leaned in for another kiss. 'Good. After all, I'm not one for competition…at least not that sort, he teased back with a wink.

His laughter was a joy to her and after his kiss and light teasing, she giggled. 'And should you,' she said, pointing a finger to his chest, 'become Emperor, you had better not choose another for your Empress. I wouldn't want to have to kill another woman for making eyes at you.'

'Kill _another_ woman?' he asked curiously as his eyes danced with amusement.

It was not until his coy query that she caught herself. Opening her mouth slightly to reply, her eyes fell to the floor briefly as she admitted shyly, 'It was...I mean...' She met his blue eyes finally getting the courage to admit the truth. 'After the order that I was to be transferred, I spotted this officer watching you so intently. She was a slim woman with very short red hair. I don't remember her name...but anyway, I knew I was leaving and wouldn't be here with you and I couldn't help but think some other woman like that would catch your eye...and I, well...I found out she had a food allergy and made sure her dish was laced with it.

'Before I left I heard of her death, but I didn't feel any better for it. I was jealous and she probably only wondered what was beneath your mask. She probably had no interest other than curiosity.' She sighed, thinking he might consider her actions baseless and despicable, but told him the truth anyway.

'You have no reason to be ashamed, for I behaved no differently in your absence.'

Anakin's understanding and the touch of his hand to her cheek warmed her heart. She was thankful her jealous actions had not put a rift in their relationship, for she would die before losing his friendship. No one else had ever gotten as close as he had. No one understood her as well as he did.

'During our time apart I...heard from others that you were courting Lt. Piett..." he began shyly. 'I was overcome with jealousy as well. I tried to refrain to stay out of it because I promised myself I wouldn't interfere. But in the end, I just couldn't standby and—so I decided it was best if I put in the transfer. I told myself it was because I couldn't refrain. In truth it was also because I couldn't bear the thought of you with him.

"But then I received his request to be transferred to the same ship as you and I..." His voice trailed off at the thought as his cheeks warmed. 'I was so enraged with jealousy and sorrow over losing you that I broke into his quarters and killed him. I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to kill him so badly before, but I was afraid if I did, you would hate me for it…that any chance I might have had in repairing the damage I did to our friendship would be ruined because of it. But in the end, I did it anyway and...'

His slow revelation that he had killed Lieutenant Piett caused her mouth to drop open in shock. She had not thought of the young lieutenant since Vader stopped her from leaving, requesting she stay with him. Her brief thought of guilt at having not said goodbye to the officer were replaced with such honour there were no proper words to describe it.

He took a step back from her. '...I understand if you'd rather not be with me because of...I just couldn't bear the thought of another being with you...of the possibility that I would be forgotten, that all we had would disappear because I gave in to my feelings for you,' he concluded despondently.

Never in a million years had Dormé expected anyone to be so in love with her. Even though they thought they had made a mistake by being together, their souls cried out that this was indeed meant to be, no matter what obstacles got in their way, no matter who attempted to come between them. She slowly recovered from shock, almost unbelieving that anyone would ever care so much for her a former Nabooan handmaiden from a lower-middle-class family who didn't have the proper upbringing or education as the other girls in handmaiden training had, who only knew of life from her experiences. It was then she registered just how far he had moved away from her...and because he thought she—She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly as she opened them again to look at him. 'I'm so sorry I hurt you,' she murmured. 'I never intended...' she began.

'Why are you apologizing? I am the one who pushed you away and forced you to try and move on,' he admitted softly.

'He became attached to me and I thought nothing of it until he—' Dormé didn't want to say it, but knew she had to be honest with Vader. 'He spoke of marriage after only a short time together and I was only courting him to try to put what could not be out of my mind. I thought—'

Closing his eyes, he drew in a deep breath.

Dormé closed the distance between them, reaching up to place her hands on his shoulders as a sly grin worked its way onto her features. 'Anakin, I never thought anyone could ever love me so much...'

At the feel of her hands on his shoulders, he opened his eyes once more, gazing down at her with a look of fierce possessiveness and love.

'…so much that they would—oh, Anakin!' Never before had anyone looked at Dormé the way Anakin was looking at her now. The fierce possessiveness and fire in his eyes spoke volumes, causing her blood to race and she kissed him.

'...My dearest friend and love, I will never let anything come between us again. We are meant to be, you and I. For you are the other half of my heart, my spirit, and my soul,' he said in a fierce tone that was laced with sincerity and love.

Dormé found she could not be close enough to him, pressing her body against him, whilst holding him tightly. She touched his cheek, murmuring, 'And you are mine,' before kissing him again.

_May the fires of our love burn through all eternity,_ he whispered into her thoughts as he ran his fingers through her long locks of hair while eagerly returning her kiss.

His kisses sent sparks through her igniting and reigniting that all-consuming fire within her, parching her, causing her to thirst for more. The more she received, the more she wanted. It was a never-ending cycle, but one she would never trade for all the universe.

* * *

A/N: I hope you're enjoying this Victorian Gothic Horror Romance so far! If you do, pass a link on to your friends and enemies alike. ;) If you write a Vader/Dormé fic, I'd love to read it! Be sure to check out the website dedicated to the pair and Jody's Vader-sided version of the tale _For the Honour of a Dark Angel_


	7. Seeds of Deception

The evening passed swiftly into night and inevitably, the night gave way to day, but for Dormé whose dreams replayed the shared passions of the night before, the transition went by unnoticed. Even their shared passions could not compare to joy of waking in his arms. Dormé had never felt so loved and at peace with herself than when she was with him. Had it not been for her previous experiences with men, she would not have appreciated this nearly as much as she did. Anakin was her darling, her best friend and companion. She never wanted to be without Vader and was thankful that would never be the case. For who would dare challenge their love?

Dormé watched him as he dozed, recalling one of the occasions she had fallen asleep on his couch during their late night meetings in which conversations of work evolved into late night discussions about life or worldviews. He looked so peaceful when he slept, so beautiful.

As a contented smile made its way across his face, a smile of her own awaiting him as he opened his eyes. Finding himself exactly where he wanted to be, he moved to hold her closer. He studied her sleepily, looking as peaceful as she felt. Running a hand through her hair, he murmured, 'Waking up in your arms is greater than any dream I could ever have.'

She momentarily closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of him stroking her hair as well as relishing his soft words which echoed her own thoughts. Dormé stroked his back, her fingers brushing over his healing scars which served as a reminder of all he had been through and how much she wanted to be there for him. 'I love you,' she replied.

She cooed in response to the feel of his warm breath against her neck and the vibrations from his throat reverberating on her skin. He nuzzled slightly against her in response and she kissed his forehead.

After a moment, his attentions seemed to divert to the candles decorating the room. There had only been a few occasions that she mentioned them in conversation. Candles were considered sacred by Naboo culture and now Vader's sanctum was host to as many of these sacred objects as he could find. Dormé looked to him curiously as he began to wield the dark side on the melted candle wax. She wondered what he was up to, though she continued her ministrations on his back. As the candle wax began to manipulate and move in strange formations, she gasped, 'What- How-'

When she noticed what the pattern meant to be, she gasped, amazed. It was 'I love you' in the ancient dialect of Dormé's people. It was so eerily beautiful and sacred. 'You remembered!' Beaming, she looked to Vader. 'Oh, Anakin, it's beautiful.'

His smile turned shy as he said, 'I hope I wrote it correctly. I'm still learning,' as he gazed into her eyes.

When he turned shy, admitting he was still learning, she assured him, 'It's perfect,' touching his cheek, 'just like you are to me.'

'I'm so glad you like it,' he murmured, touching her cheek in return.

She leaned into his touch, smiling before kissing him. There were no proper words to express just how he made her feel, but she had a feeling he knew all the same and that was what mattered.

After the sweet kiss, she leaned her head on his chest, holding him tightly. She closed her eyes momentarily as she exhaled slowly. Being in his arms was so peaceful, she wanted for nothing here, so thankful for everything that had transpired to make this wonderful moment possible.

It was all so uncanny, how they ended up here, but she wouldn't change anything. She did not question the circumstances for she was too happy to care. She wanted to stay here forever. Time seemed to move on so quickly outside of these quarters.

The comlink chimed in the other room and Anakin muttered a soft curse. 'Forget it. They can wait..."

Opening her eyes, Dormé began planting kisses over the healing scars on his chest until the comm went off in the other room. She sighed dejectedly, as she was reminded it was no doubt late into the morning now. She looked up at him, as if begging him to change the day to night.

He closed his eyes and she wondered what he was up to.

Suddenly, the sound of a small explosion was heard followed by the shattered parts clattering to the ground.

The explosion caused her to jump slightly. 'What was that?'

With a satisfied sigh and a cocky grin he opened his eyes to gaze back at Dormé with a look of amusement. "I dare them to bother us now."

His cocky grin and casual remark brought a smile to her face as she realised what had happened. Instead of enquiring just what he had done or how he had accomplished it, she was too glad the comm had ceased warbling and resumed her ministrations.

He closed his eyes and purred to her kisses as his hands ran through her dark hair.

Soon the minutes bled into hours and it was not long before the day was drawing to a close. Unfortunately, it also meant that much had occurred in the Sith Lord's absence. Much which would return to haunt him later, for elsewhere, the Emperor once more learnt of his apprentice's lack of action. Even worse was the fact that Palpatine learnt that the mission Vader was meant to embark on never occurred. As a result, the matter pertaining to the Corporate Sector's foothold over certain resources was never tended to properly. It was a costly matter one that placed the Empire at a direct disadvantage over the Corporate Sector's and her allies.

Palpatine was far from impressed and was even more furious upon discovering that the Sith Lord was not responding to his messages both through conventional means and via the Force. Having had enough of his young protégé's poor behaviour, he decided to go about a far more deceitful means of drawing his attentions. While Anakin's former mentor might have been able to tolerate such insolence, his current one would not.

As such Vader suddenly found himself once more being pulled back to reality with such force that it took all of his control not to cry out in pain. His master was not one to be trifled with and despite his vast mental blocks and means of mental protection the older Sith Lord quickly cut through them. It was horrifyingly painful to say the least giving the sensation of having a knife cut through his skull.

With a low whimper, he clenched his jaw and clutched his head in pain as he heard simple message given. _You are to meet with me. Now_.

The interruption was quickly put from her mind as they enjoyed their time together. Dormé was unaware how quickly time flew by and that they were both needed to attend their duties. She was also completely unaware of the mission her lord was meant to embark on, so she continued to bask in his glorious presence, having never felt so joyful as she did in moments such as these.

Suddenly, Anakin grabbed his head, slightly whimpering in pain and all at once, Dormé was concerned for him, thinking it was something she did. 'I'm sorry...' She moved away cautiously. 'Are you all right?'

Vader was far from happy and it showed. However, as he turned his attentions back to her, touching her cheek, he said, 'My love, there is no need to apologize this isn't your fault.' He sighed deeply. 'It is my Master. I purposely blocked my thoughts from him and since he was unable to reach me, he used a less-than-kind method of getting my attention. I'm fine now, but he wishes to speak to me immediately,' he concluded with a disappointed frown.

Relieved that she hadn't caused him pain, she studied him carefully. When he spoke of his master, she nodded in understanding, but wondered why he would hurt his apprentice. Protective of Anakin, she did not approve of that method of communication. 'You should go then,' she said softly, stroking his shoulder.

At her gentle words he gave an unenthusiastic nod. Moving quietly, he slipped his hands through her dark hair and leaned in, giving her a gentle kiss. 'I'll return as soon as I can. I promise.' With much reluctance, he moved to get dressed and prepare himself for what was certain to be a difficult meeting.

* * *

Palpatine did not have a problem with Vader's attachment to the girl so long as it did not interfere with his control over the Empire he had created. When Jaffa became closer to Vader, Palpatine thought she was either very clever or very stupid. He began contemplating ways to have her removed. He allowed just enough information to pass through the security captain, feeding enough information to Jaffa in turn to pin him as a mole. He made certain that it was Agent Maberrie that would fire the killing shot to turn against her former protégé and murder her. But that planned had failed because of the superior imperial forces who were so quick to respond to her distress call. 

Then something else happened, though Palpatine, as much as he hated to admit it, was clueless as to what had happened exactly, which caused Vader to have her transferred to another vessel. He thought his apprentice had finally tired of his little whore and that he would no longer have to worry about her. Unfortunately, this was not the case. It was not more than a week later that Vader failed to attend to his duties, finding out it was due to that little witch!

That was the final straw, or so he thought. Palpatine summoned her to his office.

* * *

Exiting Emperor Palpatine's office, Dormé could not remember exactly what she had been doing before he summoned her or what further duties she was supposed to complete that day. Instead, she returned to their quarters. Her head was pounding and she could not recall if she had excused herself politely from the Emperor or not, but at this point, she did not care. 

'A pleasure to see you, Agent Jaffa,' Palpatine welcomed her, his voice saturated with the feigned niceties of the Republic days. 'Please,' he said, indicating she take a seat across from him.

After bowing to her lord's master, she took a seat.

He commended her for her efforts in the last rebel confrontation, mentioning the last Intel from his spies within the fledgling Alliance. 'Your presence certainly left quite an impression,' he remarked offhandedly.

Dormé remained silent.

He sighed as he casually asked, 'What exactly are your ambitions, Miss Jaffa?'

'Ambitions?' she asked, furrowing her brow in confusion. 'To serve the Empire.' She nearly shrugged her shoulders at this, not quite understanding the question.

'A noble ambition indeed,' he replied. 'Why did you come here?'

'You summoned me, Your Excellency,' she said.

The various questions continued and she answered to the best of her ability, but her head began to ache as though her mind was being intruded, though she was unaware of that possibility.

Seeing flashes of bright lights in her mind's eyes, Dormé rubbed her temples as she made her way through the halls. Finally, she reached the wing that was forbidden to everyone except Lord Vader and her. She palmed the door open and went straight to lie down, praying she would soon be relieved of the throbbing in her skull.

The pain was so fierce it brought frustrated tears to her eyes. _At least it's dark in here_, she thought miserably.

It seemed like an eternity before, she assumed, Vader had finished with his duties and was returning to their quarters. Upon the sight of him, she couldn't prevent the tears from escaping as she sat up to fall into his arms.

'Dormé what happened? Who did this you?'

'My head--it aches so fiercely,' she sniffled. 'Make it stop!' Clinging to her lord, she took in a deep breath, finding some peace in his arms, despite the piercing ache. 'I was--in a meeting with Emperor Palpatine--I don't remember--I can't recall if I properly excused myself--' she lamented, hoping she hadn't done anything that would bring shame to her lord. 'I'm sorry-- Ah, my head!'

After recalling what she could, Dormé whimpered slightly from the pain, feeling as though her brain was imploding. Then he touched her temple which hurt at first, but upon closing her eyes she felt a cooling sensation eliminate the ache.

'Is that better?'

His words, though muffled through the mask carried a sweetness to them and she opened her eyes once more, nodding. 'Thank you,' she said. Feeling a bit guilty, she added, 'I don't know what came over me. I've never experienced such a headache before. I do hope I didn't offend the Emperor...'

He growled as he moved his hand from her cheek to his mask. When he began removing it, Dormé automatically moved to help him, but he was so angry and she did not know why. But she would not push him, knowing he would tell her when he was ready. So relieved that her head was not aching, the confusion did not entice her with tempting curiosity.

He remarked in cold tones, 'I know exactly what happened and I am going to make certain it never happens again. If anyone needs to apologize it is him, not you.' After a moment of silence to clear his thoughts, he continued, 'He was probing your thoughts and quite thoroughly might I add given your headache.'

Once he seemed to calm down slightly Anakin spoke once more, the words leaving her floored. 'He was in my head?' she asked. 'Mind probing? Whatever for?'

Anakin scowled in response to her questions. 'He thought it was fitting to question your loyalties.'

Her loyalties? Dormé couldn't believe what she was hearing and gaped at him. When had she ever proven a traitor? When had she ever-- It was such a depressing thought to think the Emperor thought so little of her.

His grip tightened on his helmet and, had it not been made with the finest of metals, it would have crumpled. 'He has no right to do that to you and I swear I will make sure he thinks twice before he tries that again,' he said gritted teeth as his blue eyes flashed in rage. 'You are the most loyal and noble member of this Empire. For him to think otherwise goes beyond insult and disrespect. I will not tolerate him treating you in this fashion.'

'I did not intend to be the cause of conflict between you and your master,' she said apologetically. 'If he does not wish for me to be here...' She withheld speaking of her intentions to leave should it come to that, for protecting his name and honour as well as his respect with his master was more important than her own feelings and she would make that sacrifice for him.

Furrowing his brow, his expression turned pained as he released his vice-like grip on his helmet and cupped both of her cheeks instead. 'My love, please do not blame yourself. None of this is your fault, it is all his. Please do not ever speak of such things, for it will never come to that. I'd rather die, then be without you,' he said fervently, resting his forehead against hers.

Anakin's reaction and his passionate words reassured her that this was not the case and his master had made a grave error. Even so, at the same time, she couldn't help worrying about her lord. For if the Emperor didn't want her polluting his apprentice then that would only mean... As she attempted to speak her thoughts on this, his powerful words resonated within her. She closed her eyes briefly when he rested his forehead to hers. Just as he held her heart, so too did she hold his and the resolution filled her with stone confidence. Whatever was to come, they would face it together. Of this, she was certain.

'I don't care if he wishes you to remain by my side or not. You are my angel and that is all that really matters to me.'

With his boots and armour on, he was even taller than normal, but she raised on the balls of her feet to kiss him.

'We are as one, and nothing will change that,' he said fervently.

_Oh how foolish I have been_, Dormé thought. For so many years she had thought forbidden love was the most romantic and sacred thing that a person could be blessed with experiencing, but this, oh this... Forbidden romances were nothing compared to the uniting of two souls! 'Let the galaxy know,' she replied, her voice matching his in intensity, 'should anyone try to come between us...with all the powers of darkness, they will meet their destiny.'

Dormé words brought a dark smile to his features as he studied her ardently. 'So let it be written, so let it be done.' Drawing her in for another kiss, he added softly, 'I'll tend to the matter of my Master in bit. Right now, I have more..._important _things in mind.' A wry smirk crept into his features before her kissed her once more.

* * *

A/N: This is far from the end of their troubles. mwhahaha 

As for the question regarding children: Mustafar had to serve _some_ purpose, right? XD Although perhaps in an AU fic I just might explore that possibility...


	8. Silencing the Lies

_As you decide, you shall be left as you were before, and neither richer nor wiser, unless the sense of service rendered to a man in mortal distress may be counted as a kind of riches of the soul. Or, if you shall so prefer to choose, a new province of knowledge and new avenues to fame and power shall be laid open to you, here, in this room, upon the instant; and your sight shall be blasted by a prodigy to stagger the unbelief of Satan. _**—**Robert Louis Stevenson's _The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_

Aside from the slight drama caused by Palpatine's cautionary probing of Dormé's mind, the first few months with her beloved Dark Knight were as near to paradise as she could imagine. As they spent nearly all of their time together, they were blissfully unaware of the rumours now circulating. It wasn't until a holcom call from Moteé that Dormé was enlightened to this fact.

After the usual pleasantries were out of the way, Moteé demanded to know why in the blazes she hadn't been informed.

'Informed of what?' Domé wondered.

'Your new title? Lord Vader's concubine? I cannot understand why you would keep such news from me,' Moteé said, her voice sounding offending.

'Vader's what? It's not like you've been available much at all, Moteé, since you've been so busy with your duties and Lieutenant Veers…'

'CONCUBINE,' she insisted. 'That's nowhere near as exciting or interesting as your news! You have to tell me everything…'

'I'm not his concubine!' she shouted at the holo-projection of Moteé. 'How dare you!'

'How dare me? Everyone's talking about it—talking about how your transfer never went through, how ever since then you two are rarely seen apart, how you've gone on missions with him… The rebels are calling you the Goddess of Death or some such nonsense… I even hear that you sleep in his bed…

All of this felt like a punch to the stomach. Dormé just gaped at the projection as she listened to these rumours. It was not the first time she had been the subject of scorn and dirty jokes since becoming close to Anakin, but never from her old friend.

'Tell me you aren't his slave, Dormé, because I do worry about you.'

'Slave?' Dormé could not help laughing darkly at that. 'Hardly! I assure you, it's entirely consensual.'

The look on Moteé's face was priceless.

'And I am no concubine; of that you can be certain. We are equals, Vader and I,' she added, her voice taking on a wistful tone as she thought on her lover.

'If you are not concubine,' asked Moteé, 'then what are you to him? What's going on over there?'

'Or what is he to me, you mean? That is a better question by far,' Dormé replied, smiling. 'He is my Dark Lord, my king, my dearest love and soul mate. And no one will challenge us, not even his master!'

Moteé's face showed a mixture of derision, envy, or dark approval. It was hard to tell through the holo, but Dormé was so proud of Anakin that she did not much care what Moteé thought. As if to challenge her, Moteé deliberately showed off her wedding ring by stroking her swelling belly. 'With your new high status, you ought to come visit me,' she said placidly. 'I'm due any day now and would love for my boy to meet his aunt.' She smiled serenely at Dormé.

Dormé frowned slightly at the mention of Naboo, for as much as she missed that lush planet, she knew how it would hurt Anakin to bring it up…not to mention Moteé's pregnant state. It was not a matter of betraying Padmé, because Vader and Dormé were confident their relationship was on an entirely different level. No, it would just bring back the horrid memories of having killed her and their child which hurt the most and Dormé wanted to prevent such pain if at all possible. Certainly, Anakin wouldn't want to go, but that didn't mean she couldn't. After all, he knew very well how close Moteé and she were. 'I would love to, my oldest friend.'

'I'm not _that_ much older than you,' she teased lightly.

Dormé grinned and the transmission ended. For most of the day, her thoughts were happily distracted with thoughts of her friend and the possibility of seeing her again soon. But this was stunted by the hushed whispers she overheard from a nearby consol.

She almost could not believe it. They were actually talking derogatorily about her as an 'attachment' to Vader, something he could dispose of at any time, that she had no power, no control…no respect. Sure, it was obvious she did not have his Force talents, but for them to assume she had no power?

Boiling with rage, she stormed over to the gossiping officers. 'Name and rank,' she demanded.

They gaped at her as if she were a foreign species.

She repeated herself, glaring daggers at them until they answered her. 'I'm going to enjoy watching my Dark Lord kill you.'

They laughed at her as she turned to leave, but she did not grant them the indulgence of turning back around. She continued on her way to tell her beloved of what had transpired. Moteé and Naboo were the furthest thing from her mind.

Those pathetic excuses for imperial officers would soon learn the full power of the Dark Side, thought Dormé as she stomped through the hallways on a mission. The bridge was her first stop and her instincts served her well.

Vader was conversing with Moff Tarkin and, to the shock of a few tech officers, she boldly approached.

Dormé wasn't paying much attention to what Tarkin was saying, but respected the man enough to wait until he was finished before speaking to her beloved. As much as she wanted to interrupt, she refrained, knowing her concerns were not nearly as important as official business of the imperium was. Dormé waited for the Moff to finish with his report before saying, 'We need to talk,' to Anakin.

'If you'll excuse us,' he stated coolly to Tarkin before returning his attentions to Dormé once more. Slipping a hand to the middle of her back, they departed to somewhere more private where she could speak freely.

Dormé palmed the door to the room open and after it shut behind them, she faced him. 'It appears that a few officers,' she purposely understated, 'have taken to referring to me as—'

Almost shaking with fury, she had to force herself to exhale slowly, trying to calm herself down. 'As your..._concubine_. I seem to have lost all respect. No one is following my orders without some reluctance or sly look or comment to their fellow officers.' Though she was incredibly angry, she kept her voice smooth and did not raise it.

'Who would dare say such things!' he seethed. 'Who are they? I want their names, so I may have the pleasure of making an example of them to all who would dare to speak or treat you in anyway that is less than proper.' His tone was deadly. He reached out to touch her cheek. 'I will make certain that no one ever speaks poorly of you again. You are my best friend, my closest confident and my queen. To think anything less would be an insult and a blasphemy to my love for you.'

Anakin's words brought tears to her eyes; she was so frustrated that no one recognised their most sacred love and that she had less respect no than when she was still wearing her imperial uniform. She named the officers from the station she received. Leaning in to his touch, she tried her best to make light of the situation, she said, 'Well I did promise them I would enjoy watching you kill them. We wouldn't want to disappoint them.' A slight dark smile crossed her features.

'No, we would not. I think the sooner this matter is tended to, the sooner this malicious gossip will reach its end.'

'Wait,' she said, holding him off momentarily. 'Perhaps it would be best to kill one of them, slowly...to emphasize the point. It's just a thought,' she offered, smiling briefly before moving through the doorway. Dormé was confident this statement would go far, but was still not so sure it would go far enough.

'I think it's an excellent idea,' Anakin remarked as he followed her through the doorway. 'It will certainly make others think twice before not giving you the respect you so rightfully deserve.'

When she entered the room in which she had received her holocom call from Moteé, one of the more _brilliant_ officers declared, 'Vader's consort returns!'

The techs and other officers were wise enough to hold their tongues, for they recognised Vader's ominous breathing and prayed their lives would not be forfeit.

Dormé didn't bother glaring daggers at the stupid man and moved straight to the holo projector to call her friend back. 'There's something I want you to see,' she informed Mr. and Mrs. Veers. A malicious smiled worked its way onto her features as she turned her full attention to her beloved.

Vader approached the unaware guilty party. 'I find your lack of respect for Lady Dormé to be disconcerting,' he began in deadly tones.

The man was already pale as death upon being caught in the act and tried to stammer a reply. However, the words never did escape his lips as the Sith Lord began to unleash his fury in a torturous fashion.

Though the other officers were focused on their comrade, Dormé's eyes never left Vader. She wanted everyone to see him, his powerful presence that was not to be trifled with. She wanted everyone to know that this was _her_ Dark Lord.

The man's bloodcurdling screams filled the room just as his fear and pain rippled through the Force like a twisted and warped requiem. Blood began to spill from the man's ears, eyes and nose as he dropped to the ground clutching his sides. The man shuddered and coughed up blood. Shuddered one last time, his limp body fell into a pool of his own blood.

With a dark glee, she looked back briefly at the holo of Moteé, her expression one of fear and shock. Dormé switched off the holo without further words and returned her attention to Anakin.

Facing the horrified observers in deadly silence, the Dark Lord said, 'Lady Dormé is your superior and you will treat her as such. She is my equal and you will treat her orders as though they were given by me or the Emperor himself. Cease to give Lady Dormé the respect that she deserves, and I can assure you that you will share this man's fate only in a much slower and more painful fashion. Speak of her in a manner that is less than respectful and I can guarantee you will receive the same treatment.' He paused to amplify their fears before concluding in deadly tones. 'I believe I have made myself clear. Now remove the body and tend to the mess.' He ordered before turning his attentions to Dormé once more.

He gave the officers an ultimatum, a more perfect one she could not think of. She moved in front of him to gaze up at him as she possessively slipped her arms around him. Cursing the armour and mask he had to wear, she wished they could give them a real show, even if only for intimidation purposes. 'I could not have said it better myself, my love,' she said as a few of the officers began attending to the mess.

Instinctively, his hands slipped around her small form as hers wrapped around his waist. Gently, he moved to touch her cheek. 'I will not tolerate anyone who dares to dishonour to your name,' he said quietly though it sounded more like a challenge than a promise.

* * *

Despite their best efforts to quell the rumours, even the transmission to the Veerses only fuelled the rumours all the more. However, instead of blatant remarks, there were now hushed whispers about how Vader was using the Force to have such a beautiful woman at his side. Some said she was delusional or a pawn of the Emperor. Others said she was spying on them. The respect they gave her was only a front for their true disdain for her. Dormé still overheard them speaking of her if she entered or exited a room quietly.

One evening not more than a few weeks later, she was pouring herself a drink as she awaited her beloved's return from a meeting with his master that she began to think their way of handling the rumours was not the most productive.

When Anakin returned, she could tell by his movements and facial expression that the meeting had not been a particularly pleasant one. Though now filled with concern for him and his stance with his master. Vader had told her of each 'removal' he had undertaken if she hadn't mentioned it herself. She knew he had taken out important engineers and this was why he his master wanted to speak with him. She felt it was her fault that they were once again on unpleasant terms.

Dormé, however, didn't speak of any of this. Instead, she moved towards him, catching him up in a tight hug as though she had not seen him in years instead of hours. There were some times that she didn't want to talk about anything. Sometimes just a touch or kiss was enough to at least postpone talking, to forget about concerns for awhile.

She was confident in their love and deep-rooted friendship that supported it as they in turn supported each other. Dormé never questioned their feelings, but it was a whole other thing to make others believe it.

It was here in his arms that she felt at ease, no matter what else was going on in the universe. His kiss was like a soothing balm to the worst of her frustrations and the way he ran his fingers through her hair was as though he were caressing her soul in reassuring waves. Dormé felt so lucky to hold his heart and for him to hold hers in return.

After some time, she pulled back slightly to study her beloved, reaching up to touch his cheek. She always enjoyed holding his gaze, his piercing blue eyes seeing into her heart in an understanding no one else could fathom.

'I'm sorry,' she said, as though this was entirely her fault. As if she had personally slaughtered the Emperor's engineers.

Vader studied her with loving eyes as he leaned in slightly to her touch on his cheek. Running a hand through her dark hair he remained silent a moment long just letting the silence between them speak volumes. But when she spoke, he furrowed his brow slightly in confusion and concern. They fed off each others emotions, feeling the other's pain and joy alike. When one was guilty, the other bore the guilt with them and when the burdens of the world weighed on one's shoulder, the other carried it as well.

Moving his hand from her hair to her cheek he studied her amber eyes as he spoke softly. 'My love you have no reason to apologize. This is entirely my fault. I shouldn't have lost my temper as I had. Its just... I just hate how everyone belittles what is so sacred. Its not right and I just can't standby and let them do it. It's disrespectful and degrading.'

'I would have too, the gods know!' she replied, knowing if she had Force powers, she probably would have killed them too for speaking ill of their most sacred love. Dormé was not in the least reproaching for his actions. At his words about his master, she couldn't help feeling defensive of him. He didn't know the officers in question were _important_ to Palpatine!

He sighed deeply. Closing his eyes briefly, he frowned before continuing. 'Unfortunately my Master doesn't share my view and now has ordered me to refrain from silencing those who dare to spread such malicious gossip about us.' His expression then turned a little shy as he added, 'But I think I might have a way that would end this once and for all without compromising my Master's orders—that is, if you are interested, of course.'

But her anger drifted, soon replaced by curiousity when his expression grew shy. A way to stop it without compromising his Master's orders? A small smile crept onto her face as she asked, 'And what way would this be?'

Vader sent her a sheepish smile. 'I was thinking...Well...What do you think of the possibility of us getting married?'

Marriage? Her heart raced with joy at the thought of being able to call him Husband in addition to all the other titles her heart held for him. 'To make our relationship official—in the eyes of others?' she said, though her tone made it sound like a question. Dormé was trying to figure this out logically. After all, they already knew what they were to each other. It was hard to define the extent of it, but perhaps this would help others to understand.

'Yes exactly. I mean only if you want to, of course.'

But then another thought occurred to her. 'Would your master approve of it?' she had to ask, only because she didn't want to be the cause of any rift between them. She cared too much about Anakin to be the source of anything negative.

'I don't care what my Master thinks, to be perfectly honest,' he admitted with a wry grin before sobering. 'What matters to me is what you think. Your opinion means everything to me, Dorme. If you do not wish to go through with this, I'm perfectly fine with that; I hope you know that.'

As always, he was so considerate of her feelings and thoughts on the matter. Dormé hadn't even considered how different this was to Padmé initiating their marriage. She didn't even consider the fact Padmé orchestrated the whole thing in her strong desire to please her family, to have a 'life' outside of the world of politics. Right now she was too concerned with how this would affect him.

Anakin hadn't ever made her feel pressured into anything. 'I would be most proud to call you Husband,' she admitted shyly though her eyes remained on him. A smile worked its way onto her features as she stroked his biceps, gazing up at him with fierce possessiveness.

Returning her fiercely possessive gaze with equal fervency, he gently touched her cheek. 'My love, it would be such an honour to be able to call you my wife,' he murmured before leaning in to kiss her lips.

This moment was utterly perfect and Dormé realised she had never felt so happy and alive as she did when she was with her beloved. Now the entire galaxy would be aware of their all-encompassing love, the power of their benevolence as they brought peace to the galaxy. Dormé didn't care about anyone else in the galaxy. Vader owned her entire heart and she was beyond eager to let everyone know.

After their kiss, she asked him if he had anything in mind, as to whether there would be a ceremonial event or declaration. For in Naboo only the aristocratic or upper class families were able to afford to hire holymen or priestesses to perform marriage rites. 'My father was actually bought by my mother's parents for her to marry. It's less common nowadays, but for the less wealthy families in the province I was raised in, it was a custom to buy or sell children to another family for marriages.' Families were the central point of Naboo culture and everything revolved around families in each community.

'So in Naboo culture it's tradition for families to find a suitable wife or husband for their children? Do the ones involved have any say in whom they marry?' he asked curiously.

'Well...families can be very persuasive if you get my meaning,' she replied slowly. Dormé watched him carefully to judge his reaction.

'Nowadays it's much more common to marry for love, but yes, the families are very influential on both sides of the union. Many adults want to have the approval of their family anyway though and bring a potential suitor home to meet them first.' Dormé said all of this quickly and matter-of-factly, unaware that it was almost exactly what Padmé had done about six or seven years ago.

'Anyway, the lower class,' she said, feeling a bit ashamed of her own family, 'merely house the couple together for a night and the next day they are married. There's usually a large party with all the family members on each side. Each region of Naboo has its own tradition in the presentation of a married couple. Some tie their hands together and do a sacred walk, some jump over a small pool of water or bonfire for luck...' She shrugged, feeling slightly self-conscious.

'As for me, I would be happy just being announced as your wife.' She smiled up at him, rested a hand on his chest.

Noting her self-consciousness, he reached out to touch her cheek as though offering silent reassurance. Pulling her closer, Vader studied her intently with eyes that shone with love and possessiveness. 'And so you will be my love. I want the entire universe to know that you are mine and that I am yours. We will have a celebration that is as grand as it is beautiful. It is going to be perfect just like my bride to be,' he said softly, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb.

* * *

A/N: I doubt Palpatine will be very happy about this…haha… 


	9. Proclamations and Revelations

_For as the curtain rose I danced as I was able  
Felt my deception slowly sinking in  
And so I turned to you, my love  
For the solace that is there  
-Fuel_

Caught up in the quelling of minor insurrections in the mid-rim territories, Palpatine was, for a few days, blissfully uninformed of his apprentice's great plans…

_Marriage! Love!_ Palpatine had no use for those words. These terms were like infectious diseases, eating him away from the inside. Jaffa did not, he found gleefully, have enough intelligence to plot against him or encourage Vader to overthrow him. However, he was not impressed with her and she was far from special. She was more naïve and gullible than Amidala. She was, he mused, just as easily manipulated as Vader was. Despite having found nothing from his interrogation of Jaffa, she still posed a threat, though not in any way he had ever considered possible.

When he found out about Vader's intentions to make his 'marriage' with Jaffa public, Palpatine did not know what to think. He wondered why he had not seen this coming. He knew of Vader's growing affections for the former handmaiden well before Vader knew of it himself. He knew of Vader's obsessive mannerisms and attachments and to be honest, he had no problem with that. Palpatine always had the upper hand because he knew how to use such things to his advantage, as tools of manipulation over his apprentice. However scandalous as it was for Vader to be involved with his first wife's former handmaiden, Palpatine had not thought he would _marry_ the girl.

Now, more than ever, the girl needed to be removed.

Being the suave entrepreneur that he was, Palpatine knew he could not be in any way connected to her death.

_Oh, how ironic,_ he thought as he sat in his extravagant throne room on Coruscant just before the 'celebration'. _Where is Kenobi when you need him?_ He chuckled darkly to himself.

He gracefully rose from his throne, adjusting his cloak before stepping through to the grand hall where all of the ambassadors, senators, and planet leaders were awaiting the announcement. Drawing the Dark Side around him to conceal his thoughts from his apprentice, he threw his hands into the air and applause accompanied the gesture.

Oh yes, he would smile and cajole with the best of them this evening. He would congratulate his apprentice and the whore he calls 'wife'. They would adore the attention and be so preoccupied they would not think he was in any way insincere. Nor would they ever suspect he would continue plotting her demise.

A processional orchestration played as Vader and his whore entered. As he observed the way Jaffa smiled up at the Sith Lord, an even more threatening fear washed over Palpatine. Would this delude his apprentice into thinking he could rule the Empire alone?

As Vader and Jaffa stood before the aristocrats, Palpatine felt as though he were standing on a precipice. What if she were to bear him children? He knew he was more powerful than Vader, but his children? If she were to conceive, the child would be as powerful as Vader had been before Kenobi duelled with him. The child would have the potential to overthrow him. Palpatine would not allow it.

Once it was decided that there would be a celebration in front of all the delegates, senators, and representatives from all the systems, Dormé had a gown specially made for the occasion. She also set about secretly creating something special for her husband.

As she examined the handcrafted sword Anakin had made for her, she recalled how glorious it had been the first time she accompanied him in battle. She recalled how much she wanted to give him that power. Her finger danced along the grip of her blade, knowing she could only dream of providing that power. His lightsaber which cut down the traitors...that was his first possession. If she had the ability, she would give him that blade. She would hand him that weapon with pride and all the love she held for him.

With this in mind, she spent her free time working on a special engraving for the hilt of his lightsaber. This engraving would bless his kills and mark this weapon of power as hers. She used one of the more ancient forms of Nabooan calligraphy which no doubt would be unknown even to the Emperor. She chose it because of its elegant tribal style and nuances that melded love and possession, fire and cleansing, peace and Armageddon.

Tonight, he wore this on his belt as they paraded into the hall. Dormé served and loved her husband first and foremost, but she also loved the Empire and the peace they ensured and enforced. She never doubted the Emperor or question his motives. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever suspect he was plotting against her.

Tonight, the rumours would forever be quelled.

Tonight, she stood by Vader's side as his best friend, dearest soul mate and love.

Tonight, she would be announced as his wife.

Taking no notice of the signs of affection the 'noble' couple displayed, Palpatine was able to get a good look at the bracelet surrounding Dormé's wrist. He knew exactly what sort of 'magic' it was and what it symbolized. This, however, only enhanced his smile as he announced them personally to all the guests.

'It is my most great honour to announce before you, Lord and Lady Vader, Supreme Commanders of the Imperial Forces.'

The hall roared with approving applause and shouts of congratulations in various native tongues.

It all made Palpatine have an acidic feel in the pit of his stomach, but he continued beaming as he offered a toast to the whore. This glass of liquor was clean. They would have their pathetic little celebration tonight. 'To your health and the effective wielding of the ultimate imperial power through your union,' he said, raising his own glass to clink with hers.

Dormé's eyes remained on Vader the entire time. The announcement and applause vibrated around the pair in undulating waves. It was as if for a brief space of time she was able to feel their emotions through the Force. Certainly everyone was just as thrilled about this as they were, if judging by Emperor Palpatine's expression.

She gleefully took the glass from her husband's master, making the toast for the both of them, knowing they would be having their own private celebration later. Just the thought of it made her yearn for the public event to be finished already. She squeezed his hand in anticipation.

Everything was so perfect and she could not have asked for a better reception. She lamented the fact she wasn't able to kiss him in front of everyone and contented herself by refusing to move an inch away from him the entire evening.

Palpatine was more than eager for the 'celebrations' to end as well, but for very different reasons.

'No, it is _my_ pleasure, Ambassador...Thank you for your generous donation, Senator...We are so glad you were able to attend, Your Lordship...'

As the evening dragged on, speaking with the most important of senators and ambassadors, grinning through the entire event, he secretly plotted Dormé's demise.

It was thoughts of the various ways she could die that brought the smile to his face. No one need know.

* * *

The fist few glorious weeks after having been announced as Vader's wife proved to be rewarding, for no one dared to speak ill against Dormé. No one questioned her authority or even looked at her the wrong way anymore. It was brilliant. It ought to have been invigorating as well, but unfortunately, for the newly dubbed Lady Vader, with each passing day, she felt tired more easily and by the end of the day would be too exhausted to say more than two words to her husband.

Dormé did not find this unusual or a cause for concern. In fact, she was thoroughly convinced that she was carrying their child. She did not speak of it or visit the medical ward at first because the prospect was too exciting that she wanted to keep it to herself for a bit longer. She knew from her experience with Padmé and what she had heard from Moteé that becoming incredibly weary was one of the many possible signs for pregnancy. Needless to say, she was lethargic, but incredibly happy.

Though she was excited about it, she had another reason for keeping this 'news' from Anakin. Besides wanting to be sure, she was hesitant about how he might react. He had been waking in the middle of the night after having, what she assumed to be, nightmares and she recalled what he had told her before about foreseeing Padmé's death as well as his mother's. What if he had foreseen her own death? That was most certainly not something she would want to know. At the same time, she didn't want him to have to carry the burden of that knowledge alone.

On this day, a few weeks after the celebration in front of the elite representatives of the Empire, she decided to have herself checked out. What she found out was far from what she had been expecting.

'I am afraid,' the medical technician stated gravely, 'you are in fact unable to have children.'

Denial was first. Certainly the test had been administered incorrectly. Certainly, the equipment was faulty.

Rage was next. How could anyone be so incompetent? How dare they try to tell her she had misjudged her symptoms or even faked them? They would all die by Vader's hand and she would enjoy watching them suffer slowly.

Despair hit her violently and she could no longer remain in the medical centre. Clamping a hand to her forehead, she sped back to their quarters so she could break down in tears within their sanctuary. Dormé went to the kitchen, gripping the veneer counter tightly as she bowed her head, sobbing uncontrollably.

What a foolish woman she was. How could she ever think she would be able to have a child! Why would she be blessed with the one thing she had always cherished the idea of? She was such an absolute failure! How could he ever love her now? These were some of the various laments and outrageous postulations she thought as she sobbed.

If she could have, her nails would have made indentures into the wood she was clutching so hard, but when she heard her beloved telling her through the Force that he was coming, she gasped through her tears.

Why? Why would he bother with her now? She was worthless and unworthy of his attention. The Empire was far more important than anything having to do with her.

Had the fallen Jedi known of his beloved thoughts his heart would have broke to have learnt that he had unintentionally caused her such sorrow. While he had done nothing to cause her to feel this way it was something he would certainly hold himself accountable for. But in this moment all he knew was her sorrow and his fear over the nightmares that had been plaguing him over teh past while.

Whatever it was that was causing her pain he would do everything in his power to end it as quickly as possible. For without his dearest friend and beloved he was nothing...

Quickly approaching their chambers the Sith Lord palmed the security code and swiftly entered. He rid himself of the confining helmet as though it were suffocating him as he ran into the kitchen where Dormé was weeping. 'My love what is wrong? What happened?'

Upon Anakin's return, Dormé would have automatically rushed over to him, but in this state, she didn't think he would ever want to see her again, let alone want to hold her.

However, feeling his arms around her partially eased her troubled heart, the unconscious part of her chiding herself for ever doubting his love, while the more powerful part of her feeling guilty for being unable to conceive.

She felt weak in the knees, in fact, she felt weak all over and it was a good thing he held her or she would have slipped to the floor, consequently, she clutched onto Vader as if holding on for dear life. 'Oh Anakin, I'm so sorry,' she exclaimed, gasping through her tears.

'If you never want to see me again because of this—I'm so sorry—I thought that I was, but I wasn't I can't, I can't ever—and I'm—' she rambled incoherently, choking on her tears and feeling incredibly light-headed.

'Why are you apologizing? I don't understand what happened?' he gently. 'Dormé, I'm not going anywhere nor would I ever leave you. Surely you understand this, you are my beloved and my soul mate nothing can or will ever change this. Please tell me what is wrong! I only want to help...' he pleaded.

'You can't help! It's my fault! I should have known—things were too perfect—' Her breathing was erratic and her heart raced, only increasing her dizziness.

Had Dormé been able to think clearly, she would not have so offhandedly and thoughtlessly told him the truth. 'I thought I was pregnant and went for a test and they told me—I c-can't have children... I'm so sorry to have failed you, Anakin.'

'Dormé it's alright. This isn't your fault and I'm not going anywhere I swear to you I'm not leaving-'

Her grip on him weakened as she slowly began to give in to unconsciousness. Stars invaded her sight and she wasn't able to focus on his face as darkness overwhelmed her, but she heard him. 'Anakin—'

'Dormé, please my love listen to me -focus on my voice I'm going to heal you I'm going to stop this...This isn't your fault Dormé please understand you never failed me -By the Force please don't leave me...I can't live without you-' he said hoarsely as tears began to stream down his cheeks.

Her panic subsided at his words. He would not cast her off because of her failure.

Aware that time was no longer on his side, he tapped into the dark side, closing his eyes in attempts to heal her.

* * *

A/N: I'm thrilled that those of you who have reviewed enjoy this pairing as much as I do.

How many of you would be interested in reading an AU fic with Anakin/Dormé from AotC era on?


	10. Undeserving

_The sky was dark this morning  
Not a bird in the trees  
And silence hung suspicious and anxious  
Like a blanket covered scream  
You were gone  
...  
Quiet, desperately  
Look into their eyes you'll see the faithless crying  
Save me, save me, save me _

–Fuel

The toxin was subtle, not even detectable by droids; Palpatine had made sure of it. Dormé also, for her small size, did not have to ingest much of it for a very long period for the effects to be disastrous. But whatever it was that Vader was doing, it was beginning to help. Of course, time would be the only thing to fully get the toxin out of her system, but the dark side powers filtering into her cells ferociously combated the deadly toxin.

After awhile, she blinked her eyes open, feeling exhausted as if she had been sparring for a few hours, but not nearly as weak as before. She reached up to touch his hand.

'You're going to be alright...' he breathed in utter relief as he reached out gently to take her hand that was reaching out for his own.

Tears came to her eyes at the sight of Vader. She thought—no, she did not know what to think. She was not exactly sure what had happened, only that she had told him what she found out and how much it upset her. But something within her took hold, causing her to nearly faint.

From his expression and the tear stains on his cheeks, she could tell he had been crying and immediately felt bad though still confused. All that mattered though was that he said she would be all right.

He had done something to bring her back from the dark. She did not know what caused it, but she desperately did not want to leave him. Had he been able to save her from death?

Dormé kissed his hand to express what she could not say. As she did so, a weak smile crept into his features as silent tears trickled down his cheek. He had saved her; Dormé was confident of this now and kissed his hand, not able to find the proper words to convey everything she wanted to say. Anakin's hand shook slightly beneath hers and it sent concern rushing through her. He had put so much effort into saving her, something she could not begin to fathom though her heart swelled at the thought.

'I was so scared...I thought I—Oh my love—I'm just so glad you're alright...' he whispered, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

When he leant closer to kiss her forehead, she snaked her arms around his shoulders, kissing away the tears on his cheeks in hopes it would also ease his concerns for her and that he would also be able to rest now, to regain his strength.

Once again, they did not need words. So much was spoken by actions, easing Anakin's fears and Dormé's concern for him. Vader must have realised that they were still in the kitchen, for he was soon gently lifting her into his exhausted arms, carrying her petite form to their bed so she would be able to rest properly and recover.

Dormé herself was far too exhausted to register his blushing cheeks, but did what little she could to help as he lifted her into his arms. She held him close as he carried her to the bedchamber. Though she was very tired, she made certain that he would be joining her and set about helping him out of the rest of his armour without a word. She knew she would be unable to rest properly without him by her side.

Vader sent her an appreciative smile as the two of them, with fumbling hands, removed his armour. Soon he joined her in bed and almost immediately, they fell asleep.

It did not take long after he rested next to her before she fell asleep. Her exhaustion prevented her from being able to have any dreams, but upon waking several hours later, she felt the guilt returning to her full throttle.

Dormé vividly recalled being told that she would not be able to have children, that she had failed Vader. Despite the reassuring words from the day before, it was almost impossible for her to believe that it was true, that he would not cast her off because of it.

She released a shaky sigh, resisting the tears that threatened to return. He deserved to have children. They deserved it. It was not fair.

* * *

When Dormé roused, she did not feel him lying beside her. Usually there would at the very least be an arm wrapped around, but when she blinked her eyes open, he was nowhere to be found. 

The distraught hit her violently as if all of her fears were confirmed. He had left her!

Springing from the bed, she searched the rooms, unable to find him and seeing that everything was in its place just as it had been the night before. There was nothing to clean up anywhere...it was as if he had left her when she fell asleep...

_No, no, he said he wouldn't. He has never lied to me. He would never—_ Dormé called up the more rational side of her. It was then she calmed down and went to the fresher, hearing the water running. Feeling relieved at the sound, she chided herself for doubting him. But then, she heard him...weeping.

Still clothed, she boldly went into the shower, not caring if it would be seen as intrusion. If anything ever completely tore at her soul, it was the sight of her dearest friend in pain.

Dormé paid little heed to the running water until it abruptly stopped as her concern for him was overwhelming, even more than her own guilt. He would not even look at her and this tore at her heart.

'Anakin...' she began, her voice filled with despair.

Then Vader spoke, his words haunting, arresting. 'I'm sorry...' he whispered softly. 'For everything... All of this is my fault...' He continued in barely audible tones.

How could this possibly be his fault? If he was speaking of the same thing she was thinking of, the fact that she could not conceive, he had nothing to do with that. So then figured he meant something to do with her near brush with death. How was he involved with that? Had he unintentionally misused his powers?

Confused, she drew nearer, hesitantly placing a hand on his shoulder. 'What do you mean?'

The fallen Jedi closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath. 'I am the reason for all of this... It was because of my actions at the Temple—because I killed the younglings—that I lost my only child. It is because of this that I know I'll never be worthy enough to be called a father. I know I am not deserving of it. Not anymore—not after what I've done. But you don't deserve this punishment, this needless suffering because of my crime and for that I'm so sorry...' he admitted in soft but shamed tones.

'Anakin, you know why they had to die,' she insisted, 'because they were Jedi, because they betrayed you and lied to you! Younglings or not, they would have become the traitors to the Empire, a threat to all you've worked so hard to build—'

Dormé strained to make him look at her, her eyes fiercely defensive of him. 'Even if you consider that a crime, it is not related to what happened to your child, nor is the cause of anything having to do with me.' Guilt upon guilt over past deeds was not helping their current situation and it certainly was not making her feel any better.

Vader reached out to touch her cheek, but stopped himself and she let out a shaky sigh, unable to say anything further for a moment. 'It's just... I can't help but feel responsible for this,' he said quietly.

'No, it was me—' she began, trying to swallow back the tears welling in her eyes. 'I just—'

'I was the one who made you feel as though you had fail me—which you never would—that somehow made you believe I was going to leave you...I—' he hesitated, glancing away from her. 'If anything, I thought you would want to leave me...because of what I had done, because I made you feel this way...' he admitted quietly.

When Anakin looked away from her, she could not stop tears from escaping. 'I would never leave you,' she said in no more than a whisper. 'I don't ever want to leave you. Anakin...'

Quietly he moved to hold her close as he buried his face in her dark hair. 'I would never leave you. I cannot live without you, Dormé—you are my everything. I swear to you I will never leave. I love you too much to even consider such a thought...' he whispered ferventlym tightened his embrace. 'I am so sorry if I ever did or said anything that would make you feel otherwise.'

When he buried his face in her hair, finally holding her, she broke down. His words spoke to all of her fears and she felt so stupid for having ever thought he would consider casting her away. 'I wanted to give you children so badly— I was so foolish for thinking you would ever leave and I'm sorry for making you think that you had done anything to—'

Holding her just as tightly, Vader he gently stroked her hair, closing his eyes. 'It's alright, my love... It's alright, I'm just so glad you are still here...That you not going to leave. That is all that truly matters to me,' he whispered gently.

Dormé pulled him closer as if she would never be able to hold him again. 'Oh Anakin,' she cried, 'I love you so much.'

He drew back slightly just so he could study her features with possessive fervency. Then touching her cheeks, the Sith Lord wiped away her tears as his eyes shone with his own. 'My love, you are here that is all that matters to me. All I need is your love, to know that you are by side now and always. Remember, you and I are one... Nothing can or will ever change that,' he said in a gentle, but determined tone.

Everything would be all right now, Dormé was sure of this as he erased her doubts in words and action. Though part of her would always ache to give him children, to see their perfect love manifested in another being they created, having him by her side was more than she could have ever hoped for. With this in mind, she was able to forgive herself of the guilt and fully accept his reassuring words.

As Anakin studied her, she matched his possessive gaze with equal ardour. He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his still moist hands and she could not deny seeing tears shining in his own.

She concluded his determined protestation with a kiss, finding no words to properly convey what she would have wanted to say in reply.

After the blissful kiss, which seemed to cement their refusal to ever cast each other off, Dormé touched his cheek, smiling softly for a moment. The emotions still running high, though not as intensely as before, she returned to herself and noticed he was without clothing. Not wanting him to catch a chill, she reached for a nearby towel.

_Yes,_ she mused as she moved to help dry him off, _there is so much to be thankful for. _

It was only when she moved to wrap a towel around him that the Sith Lord seemed to notice his current position. Blushing slightly he gave a sheepish smile before holding her close.

* * *

A/N: Poor emo kids ¬pats them¬ Well, if you think they're melodramatic now, just wait. The first chapters of the yet untitled AU Anakin/Dormé fic will be up within the next few days because I just cannot resist it! 

**bflyy**, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. Padmé was cool in PM, but it just went downhill from there!

As usual, credit to Anakin/Vader's dialogue—aside from minor grammatical or word choice/order changes—goes to Jody, without whom this story would not be.

More evil creepiness (or is it creepy evilness?) to come!


	11. Pendulum Swings Closer to the Slaughter

**_  
_**

That little witch survived! He had spent much time and effort getting the proper concoction of the toxin. He had not expected Vader would be able to find out. She nearly died, but then he _saved_ her!

Palpatine hissed at the thought.

Well, it _had_ taken Vader quite a while to catch on. Much longer than it would have taken Palpatine.

Though he found out through her medical records that she was unable to have children, Dormé was still a threat to his Empire. Vader was _his_ apprentice and he would be damned if anyone distracted Vader from his training. He also thoroughly believed her death would be as effective as Padmé's was in increasing Vader's lust for the dark side.

And yet she still lived. This was something that needed attending to, but for his next attempt on her life, he needed something big. If subtlety wasn't working...

Chaos was what Palpatine needed to distract his apprentice long enough for a well-aimed strike against his whore of a wife.

_Yes,_ he thought gleefully, peering into the future. _Chaos._

He chuckled manically in his utter brilliance.

* * *

It had been quite a long time since Dormé last heard from her old friend and former fellow handmaiden, Moteé Veers. Part of the reason she thought Moteé took so long in responding to her last message was that she was still bitter that Dormé had not ever come to visit her after she gave birth to her first child, a boy named after Max's father. Dormé insisted she really had not had the time, but Moteé felt she was being jilted as Dormé certainly had not invited _her_ to the celebration in which she had been named Lady Vader.

The tension was underlying and Dormé was unaware of most of it, until today.

Moteé gleefully informed her that she was going on holiday with her family to a luxurious spot in Naboo's Lake District. It was a very expensive vacation for a lieutenant to afford, Dormé thought, though she did not say this aloud. In fact, the spot was a place Dormé longed to visit and often spoke of in the wee hours of the night when she and Moteé gossiped and fantasized about all the things they would do one day. However, even with all the power she had as the wife of Lord Vader, it did not afford her the time to get away very often, especially not to Naboo.

Though Vader and she often spoke of her home and traditions, they rarely if ever decided to actually go there, for it held too many memories that were best left in the dust. The death of her former mistress and his first wife was something that though they had gotten past, did not want to bring up.

'I hope you have a lovely time,' Dormé told her. 'I've always dreamt of going there.'

'I know you have,' Moteé replied with a grin and a wink. She pulled her young boy onto her lap. 'Now wave bye-bye to Auntie Dormé,' she told him.

'BYE!' he said.

'What a smart boy. Good boy!' Moteé praised her son with a purpose.

Dormé crossed her arms, trying hard not to let this all bother her as she said her farewells to her friend.

The holo image faded and disappeared.

Dormé sighed.

As the holo faded, Dormé mentally calculated how many years she had known Moteé, trying to recall the good times they had spent together to be rid of the unpleasant thoughts her friend implanted. It was hard to see that Moteé had used and manipulated her on countless occasions. It was hard to see that Moteé always enjoyed gaining an advantage over her or teasing her a bit too long about something or another.

But after everything that had happened in her life, there was a part of Dormé that wanted, _needed_ to cling to the past. She did not stay in contact with her family or other relatives and Moteé was the closest thing she had to family. The other handmaiden 'sisters' paled in comparison to the friendship Moteé extended to her over fifteen years ago.

Vader had been skimming over some over some of the holo maps of the Rebel bases which would soon be removed, while Dormé was ending her call. He approached her silently, having not overheard their conversation. He placed his hands on either side of her arms, gently rubbing them. 'You all right?' he gently asked.

She barely registered the sound of Vader moving through their living areas, but the touch of his hands on her arms, drew her attentions to him and out of thoughts of the past. 'Hmm? Oh, I'm fine,' she said, albeit unconvincingly. 'How are the preparations? Do you need any help?'

The Sith Lord furrowed a brow and gave her a glance that revealed he was not so convinced that she was all right. He did not press the matter further, offering silent comfort instead as he slipped his arms around her waist, holding her close. At her attempts to change the topic, he only shook his head before kissing her cheek. 'Everything is ready when we are,' he said gently.

She looked to her husband after he kissed her cheek. With his arms around her, she felt Moteé's words drifting away. As always, his charming expression and arms around her distracted her from less than pleasant thoughts. All of this brought a small smile to her face. Anything anyone else had was nothing compared to this. It was she, Dormé, who held the honour of calling Vader her husband. It was she, not Moteé who would reap the rewards the violently enforced peace would bring the Empire. What was a Nabooan holiday compared to that? Moteé never did take up her offer to visit the Delayan lake house Anakin had commissioned for her...

She refused to admit to herself that it wasn't the vacation she envied, but rather the child she was unable to have that bothered her. 'And I am ready when you are,' she replied softly, giving his waist a squeeze before moving to wear they kept his armour.

At her words and actions, Anakin's smile widened slightly as he gave her a quick kiss. 'I suppose we could get ready. Especially since we wouldn't to keep our adoring enemies waiting for too long now would we?' he said with a wry smirk.

Just as Dormé moved to begin helping him with his armour, he caught her by the waist to give her a 'quick' kiss which she enthusiastically returned. 'Very funny,' she replied with a grin. 'At this rate we will never get out of here and who are we to disappoint?'

Little did they know what Palpatine had been planning, five years in the making…

Anakin sent her a lopsided grin, chuckling as he played innocent. 'It's only one kiss... Besides, it's not like I can really enjoy your beauty when I'm stuck in the armour, so who can blame me for enjoying it when I can,' he said with an impish grin. Turning more serious Anakin then moved to put on the chest plate and the rest of his armour though his eyes never once left Dormé. _My beautiful queen, how lucky I am to have you,_ he inwardly thought unaware that once more the nightmares that had been plaguing him once again was about to become a dangerous reality.

To his act of innocence, she could only shake her head as she proceeded to hand him the various pieces of his armour. He could not hide the nightmares from her. They started up again with a vengeance these past few nights, though they had bee on and off for the past few months. She had become used to them and sometimes slept through them or at least pulled him back to her, mumbling words of reassurance.

Today, Vader seemed to be taking a little more time than usual with the armour and though in the back of her mind she would remember it as precognition later, right now she was having too much fun teasing him about it to pay it any mind.

Ready to help with the final pieces of the mask which would shield his face from her, she stood on tiptoe to give him a proper kiss. _As it is never only one kiss with you, so it never is with me,_ she thought before finally breaking away from his lips to put the helmet in place.

Slowly, he put on the pieces of armour that would transform him into what the world had come to recognize and fear. But despite the impenetrable image that would be cast for all to see Vader's thoughts were growing ever distracted and torn. Inwardly he remembered the nightmares of the night before and of the ones that came before it. They were growing more frequent now and far more vivid marking that something was about to go wrong and soon.

Instinctively his fingers drifted briefly to his lightsaber. Lightly they traced along the outlines of the symbol Dormé had carved for him -a gift he would forever cherish from his beloved wife and soul mate. Somehow, it helped clear his thoughts a bit just as it served to remind him of the other trials they had been through in the past. For despite the nightmares of before they were always victorious and for all his fears Dormé was still here unharmed.

With this thought in mind, he could not help but smile as he leaned in to meet Dormé's kiss just as she rose to the balls of her feet. Instinctively he picked up her thoughts and drew in closer as he eagerly returned her kiss.

_May the fires of our love consume and devour all that dares to stand against us,_ he whispered into her thoughts through the Force. Then with ought another word their kiss came to an end as Anakin placed on the final piece of the visage that aided in making him a legend to be feared as well as respected.

Little did he realize that once more his entire universe was about to teeter dangerously close to destruction...

* * *

Six years was not long to wait, for Palpatine, not at all.

With careful planning and consideration, he played both sides. The rebels that received the slightly increasing flow of leaked imperial information would have a chance to remove the whore his apprentice called wife. Of course, he did not expect the pathetic band of rebels to succeed. He did not expect they would be able to fire a shot, let alone get close enough to kill.

For this reason, he made sure to have a back-up plan, a trained assassin of Separatist origin. This, along with a band of clone troopers sent to plant specific bombs in the path Vader would tread. He knew his apprentice well enough that he was selfish and would save his own life first. He did not doubt that Vader would survive.

Everything was going as planned and it was only a matter of time before his apprentice's little whore would be nothing more than a memory.

* * *

One of the most glorious experiences in her life was appearing by her husband's side on the battlefield. Her finely crafted sword, a gift from her best friend, hung sheathed at her hip and the wedding bracelet which bond her to Vader caught the sunlight and sparkled from her wrist.

While everyone else seemed engulfed in chaos, she remained smooth and confident, the perfect companion for Vader's stoic execution of violence. Her sword swished in accompaniment to the blazing hum of his red blade.

Then everything spun out of control...

**

* * *

**

Upon arriving to their destination, Anakin could not help but feel that something was wrong. Inwardly he tried to ignore the silent nagging that reminded him of the nightmares he had been having over the past months. After all the last two nightmares he had pertaining to Dormé's passing never happened, surely this would be no different. At least he tried to tell himself this so as not to be so distracted by his thoughts that he would not sense the possible threat that were the dissidents.

But as the battle began, the nagging sensation grew worse and unconsciously Vader found himself struggling to stay focussed on the battle ahead. Inwardly he felt the need to protect Dormé more than usual for it felt as though something unseeing was hunting her. It left him feeling edgy and drawing on the dark side he tried to shield her from any possible threats without making it too obvious that he was onto whomever it was hunting her.

But then suddenly chaos was unleashed and in that moment, Vader realized that what had started out to be a standard sneak attack on the Rebels was in reality a well planned trap on their part.

* * *

An explosion separated her from her beloved, sending pieces of shrapnel shooting through her leg. Dormé cried out in pain, nearly losing her balance, but it was sniper fire that brought her to her knees.

She cursed after being shot in the shoulder, dangerously close to her heart. Clutching the area with her good hand, she fell over.

The assassin stumbled over to check on her work, only to have Dormé's sword run straight through her. The woman's body fell atop Dormé's and Dormé fell into unconsciousness.

* * *

A/N: Big thanks to Jody for using Anakin's dialogue/thoughts, etc. You freaking rock at Vader! Palpy is so evil isn't it? XD I just keep seeing him with the 'my apprentice is an idiot' look on his face. That's of course why I had to include that remark about 'where's Kenobi when you need him' lol

**NEW FIC IS UP! **I have the first three (so far) chapters of the AU Anakin/Dormé fic entitled, _The Ill-Made Handmaiden_. Yes, it's a reference to Lancelot, _The Ill-Made Knight,_ (from T. H. White's third book of his Arthurian tetrology, _The Once and Future King_, which I wrote a wondrous dissertation on for my English Literature MA). Now off you go, my saucy sithly little minions! ;)


	12. Recovery and Reflection

The well-timed explosions assured that Lord Vader would not be able to reach his beloved unscathed. He could feel Dormé's pain through the Force as it manifested itself into his own pain. His thoughts were too distracted in the need to get to her before it was too late to even fully register what he was experiencing. It was not the explosions that did the worst damage, but another sniper. This sniper was hidden and from her position was taking out clone troopers left and right until the Sith Lord was in her sights. Aiming her blaster at the breastplate, she took a shot.

A good portion of Vader's respirator was damaged, which decreased his mobility, due to lack of oxygen, tenfold. But this did not prevent him from continuing onward, feeling his wife's pain, knowing she was in danger. The nightmares haunted him and he would not let her die.

He slaughtered everyone in his way, whether they were imperial or not. Nothing mattered to him anymore except saving Dormé. Time was not on his side.

Struggling onward, using most of his powers to keep himself conscious, he refused to give up his search. Gasping for air, he moved the corpse that lay atop Dormé's unconscious figure. She was still alive though severely wounded. With the last of his strength, he lifted her into his arms and headed back to his ship, not caring that this had been a trap, nor that his respirator would take some time to repair. The only thing he cared about was getting Dormé to safety and seeing that she was healed.

* * *

When Dormé fell victim to the assassin's fire, she did not cry out as she had when the shrapnel entered her leg. Lying on the ground, her spirit called out to her beloved, but her breath hitched at the same time the shot damaged his respirator. The pain made her as dizzy as the struggle Vader had for oxygen and she was unaware how his injuries affected her too. 

She was conscious enough to see the traitor approaching and had one last trick up her sleeve. As the woman drew her blade, Dormé prepared herself to use the last of her strength to kill her. When the body collapsed atop her, Dormé resigned herself to unconsciousness.

Even in her unconscious state, she was able to register Vader's presence and it was a comfort to her.

* * *

Once Dormé was safely returned to the ship and under the care of the medical droids in the infirmary, Vader finally succumbed to his own wounds. Had it not been for the medical droids who moved swiftly to his aid, the fallen Jedi would have collapsed upon placing her onto the cot. With assistance, he was able to reach the closed-off section of the infirmary which had been specifically designed for him and promptly collapsed on a cot. 

Hours later, he finally resurfaced, his thoughts immediately turning to his beloved. Though separated by glass, he was able to see her. His heart clenched to see her lying there looking pale as death. Reaching out to her with the Force, he sensed that despite appearances, her Force signature was growing stronger though it was too weak for his liking.

Despite protestations from the medical droid attending him, he rose and went straight for the doorway that would lead to where she was. It was only when he reached the door that he remembered his respirator needed repair. It was a time-consuming matter and while he could easily fix it, he was too distracted to even attempt it. Cursing in Huttese, he returned to his cot, taking a seat while his eyes remained on his wife's unconscious form. He would not begin repairs until he was assured of her condition.

Reaching out with the Force once more, Vader gently caused her hair to shift as if he were running his hand through it. He also manipulated the molecules around her to give her the sensation that he was holding her. It was with the hope that he could provide some sense of comfort that he did so, knowing they were both able to rest easier when they were in each other's arms. Though he was unskilled in Force healing, he hoped this would aid in her recovery.

As Anakin's oxygen levels returned to normal, Dormé's breathing stabilized. For a long while, a consistent level of a tranquilizing anaesthetic was administered to keep her in the realms of unconsciousness while the medical droids worked on repairing the damages.

Once the major operations were completed, she drifted into a productive sleep, but was far more content when she unknowingly registered the familiar sensation of Anakin being near, as if he were holding her.

The injuries on her leg were now bandaged as well as the wounds to her upper body. Drawing nearer to the surface of consciousness, her thoughts drifted to the last moments of the battle, the horror she felt at being separated from her beloved, how she killed that woman who shot her. She could only slightly register the pain in her shoulder and leg, for she was still quite medicated, but not to the extent that she could not register, she was in a medical centre of sorts.

Registering her stirring, Anakin's heart soared. While he was not given all of the details pertaining to her injuries or the operation, it increased his concern for her. However, her strengthening Force signature, despite being hindered by anaesthetics, gave him hope.

Finally blinking her eyes open, she quickly shut them again for the blaring light of the room needed getting used to. She exhaled, finding it much easier to breathe than before, unaware that it was Vader's injuries she had felt which affected her own ability to breathe at that juncture. Now she opened her eyes slower and as they adjusted to the luminosity, she turned her head slightly to either side before her eyes found Anakin.

He was near, so near, yet glass separated them. Relief washed over her to see he was all right. A GH-7 analysis droid hovered nearby as she awoke, scanning her as her attentions were focused on Vader. She was also unaware how long she had been out. However, it was clear to her just how close she had come to death this time. It would not be until later that she would question how this had all come about though the conclusions would be unsatisfying.

When she looked to him, her desired to go to her, but knew he could not. Sensing her relief, he sent her a shy smile as he continued wielding the Force to give her the sensation of him stroking her hair and holding her.

'Anakin,' she murmured, unsure if he would even be able to hear her. She reached out to the glass, but her shoulder protested. She relinquished the idea of trying to reach for her husband who was just beyond the glass. Dormé only then concluded that he was in a special pressurized chamber since he was without the mask and helmet.

He saw her speak his name and he whispered via the Force into her thoughts, _My love, I am so relieved to see you are all right. I was so scared I was going to lose you..._ _How are you feeling? Is there anything I can do to help? _

His gentle whispers made her wish she had the ability to communicate with him in this way as well. She was tired, very tired, but it did good to see him, even if it was through glass. Dormé's eyes filled with grateful tears as she felt him, as if he were caressing her hair and holding her close. It was a sensation she would not soon forget though it paled in comparison to the real thing. Wanting nothing more than to be with him, she contented herself with gazing upon him.

Watching her intently, Anakin hated feeling helpless but knew there was little else he could do for the time being. He wished he was in better condition so as to be able to heal her himself, but this too was an impossibility. It infuriated him to think just how close he had come to losing his beloved, and just how foolishly they had walked into this trap. But she was going to be all right; despite the nightmares he had once again been able to save her. The thought brought a relieved smile to his lips. Though he could perceive her exhaustion, he also registered her contentment and this was encouraging in and of itself. _I am going to tend to the repairs of my respirator and then I will join you._ With this in mind, he then began the repairs needed though still mindful of her presence which caused him to pause once in a while to give her a glance and a reassuring smile.

Her uninjured arm moved slowly so she could touch her hair where she felt Anakin's caress as if hoping to feel his hand. All the while, she looked on him, smiling softly when he looked her way, glad to know he would soon be with her. She watched as he set about repairing the damaged respirator, his fingers working so diligently and swiftly on the mechanical device after so many years of practice. It was a marvel to see. Each time her beloved paused to look at her, she rewarded him with a smile, which was growing softer by the moment. Soon she was once more asleep, though far more content than she was previously, for she knew her love would be with her soon.

He could see her hand slipping to her hair as though hoping to feel his hand and it caused his heart to clench. How he longed to be by her side to properly hold and comfort her. But while this was not possible, it certainly served to add to his determination to tend to his repairs as quickly as possible so he could join her. Working as swiftly as possible, he paused only to steal glances to his beloved who rewarded them with gentle smiles. But soon she had drifted off to sleep and while he missed her loving gaze, he was more grateful to know she was resting comfortably and well on her way to being fully healed.

Time passed and soon his respirator was repaired, permitting him to exit the confines of his medical room. As soon as his helmet had been set in place, he moved to join her side. Slipping his hand into hers, he gently ran his gloved fingers through her hair as he waited with much patience for her to awaken.

In her sleep, she felt his hand in her hair and unconsciously reached up to touch him, leaning into the palm of his hand. Though she was unaware, her soul registered that its other half was much nearer than before.

Though she was still resting Anakin could feel her Force signature shift at his touch just as he could feel her unconsciously leaning into his palm. His heart swelled at her subtle gesture and the unspoken emotions felt from it. Through the Force, he opened his thoughts and shared his emotions with her. It was not the same as speaking into her thoughts but he did not wish to disturbed her sleep and hoped that she would understand his silent gesture.

Upon easing into consciousness, she murmured, 'Mmmm,' as her eyes slowly opened. Her uninjured hand squeezed his, expressing her gratefulness for his company. She had not died. Once again, his nightmares had not come true. 'Can we go home now?' she asked.

It brought him such joy to see her awake and upon hearing her question he moved to touch her cheek gently. 'We can go home now if you like, that is if you are certain you're well enough. I just don't want to hurt you further.' He explained gently wanting to carry her but fearing he might tear her wounds open again.

'I know you would never intentionally hurt me,' she murmured in reply, her eyes filled with trust.

The scanner droid returned to access her condition once more and when it gave her clearance, Dormé nodded to Vader.

Her soft words brought a smile to his features and once more, he found himself cursing the confines of his helmet. How he would have loved to kiss her at the moment. Nevertheless, it did not stop him from touching her cheek gently despite the fact the scanner droid was monitoring her condition. Once the clearance was given, Dormé nodded and Anakin soon was carefully lifting her up.

'Carefully,' she said, though she knew he would be mindful of her injuries, as she reached up with her good arm to wrap around his neck. They would be going home and she could not wait to be back, with her beloved by her side.

At her warning, a mischievous smile played on his hidden lips. She was not the only one who was eager to return home and Vader was more than happy to comply. Between the rush of relief at her survival and feeling her gingerly holding onto him, Anakin once more found himself feeling as though he were the luckiest man alive.

The journey itself was not long and soon they were back in the inner sanctums of their chambers once more. Gingerly resting her onto the bed the Sith Lord was careful to ensure everything was perfect for her to rest. Once he was certain that she was comfortable, he proceeded to remove his helmet so he could properly enjoy her with his own eyes. Watching her quietly he gently played with strands of her hair as he gave her a loving smile. This was once more far too close a call for his liking but in the end all that mattered was that Dormé was all right and safe.

Upon returning home, it was hard to believe she had nearly died today. It certainly made her appreciate everything in her life so much more. Once comfortably reclined on their bed, she watched as he attended to the escaping the confines of his helmet, nearly as eager as he was to see him without the mask. It was not until he was running his hand through her hair that she wondered why she had had so many narrow escapes with death. First, there was the incident with Saché, but that was because of Dormé's own actions... Then there were the times Vader was not in control of his powers, but that was something he had attended to in hours of training for her sake as well as his own... Then there was more recently the toxin administered to her from some unknown source... Then the assassin and the explosion.

The threat was far more real today and she could not help but consider the possibility that she had not killed her only assassin. Why did someone want her dead? She could not understand it. Her mind reeled with possibilities instead of fully enjoying the presence of her dearest Dark Lord.

It did not take long for Anakin to register the change in his wife's mood. Something was troubling her greatly and this, in turn, caused him much concern. Inwardly, he wondered if she was still in pain and furrowing his brow, he gently touched her cheek. 'My love, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to...' he began as his expression turned apologetic.

'No, no you did not you hurt me,' she said. It's nothing.' She only lay there for a little while before gave in, knowing even though he wouldn't pressure her for what she was really worrying about, she would feel bad if he was worrying about her...

Anakin normally would have felt relieved by her words but he was quite concerned that perhaps the med droids had not done their jobs properly. He inwardly assured himself if this were the case, he would make sure they would never see a medical room again...Or anything outside of a parts yard.

'I think,' she slowly began, 'that someone is trying to kill me.' She exhaled, meeting his eyes. 'I know I killed an assassin this time, but I don't think she's working alone, or that she was the only one.' She looked to him, knowing if her concerns were uncalled for, he would let her know; she knew he would be honest with her.

But then Dormé continued and spoke the deep rooted concerns that Vader had been secretly beginning to harbour. Furrowing his brow, he fell silent as she admitted to killing the assassin. While he was proud of her for taking out her enemy, he was angrier with himself for being unable to stop the attacker. But then his thoughts moved forward for he knew she was right. His expression turned dark and dangerous to the realization. 'The rebels. They're the ones behind this. The fools think they can stop us with their pathetic attacks and attempts of assassination,' he then frowned deeply as a new sense of determination filled his thoughts. 'I'm going to get to the bottom of this and when I do I swear to you I will make them regret the day they were born...'

Dormé was glad to know she was not incorrect in her assumptions, but could not understand why she would be someone they would want to kill. What possible purpose would her death serve for them? What was she to them? She believed he would take care of it, that he would find out who was trying to have her assassinated and make them pay dearly. 'Make them suffer so much that their ancestors will feel it, yes,' she replied in agreement.

At her words, his expression took on a steely resolve as he studied her intently. 'You have my word, I will make them pay and dearly,' Vader stated in quiet determination as he touched her cheek.

But her fear remained. What if they were try poisoning her again or some other form of nefarious scheme that was indictable by droids? 'What can I do?' she wondered. 'I don't want to stop going with you on missions...'

But he could still sense her fear and at her words, he furrowed his brow and shook his head slightly. The thought of her not being by his side in battle was not something he wanted to consider. In truth, he felt she was much safer by his side then away from him. Even in this situation despite the fact they were separated Anakin was still able to get to her in time. If they were apart and an incident much like the one that involved her former mentor he would be helpless to do anything to intercede. This too was a thought he did not wish to think about. 'I will stop at nothing until this matter has been settled. But I will not lie to you; I do believe you are far safer by my side then if you were to refrain from join me. At least this way I can protect you should those fool's try something again.'

'Yes, I agree. I feel so much safer when you are with me.'

His expression then relaxed slightly as he hoped in some small way that he could comfort her troubled thoughts. 'Besides, I couldn't bear to be without your company. Not to mention I think it would serve the rebels some good to learn first hand just what happens to those who dare try to stand between us, don't you think?' he added as he gave her a proud smirk.

At the thought of the rebels seeing her alive and well after their pathetic attempt on her life, a smirk grew on her features. She would really be thought of as a Goddess then. Undefeatable in battle with her Dark Lord of the Sith at her side. His proud smirk warmed her heart and returned courage to her. 'Our wrath they will fear,' she replied vehemently, reaching for his hand.

He smiled, grateful that despite all that had happened she would still wish to join his side. She truly would be like a goddess of vengeance to their prey. His smile widened at the thought, just as her vehement words added to his determination to end the attacks on her life. He would see to it personally that they paid. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze as he bent over to kiss her lips. 'That they will, my love...' he purred in reply.

* * *

A/N: The only way to properly present this chapter was to have it completely co-written with Jody (who wrote Vader's dialogue and thoughts). You can find her Vader tales at my site or under her sig: Blood Raven1. She is extremely talented at voicing Vader. 

The next chapter might be awhile before I can post it, but until then, I hope you will check out _The Ill-Made Handmaiden_.


	13. Weaknesses

Just after the destruction of Alderaan, the Emperor ordered a legion of stormtroopers to investigate Yavin IV. He had not assigned Vader to this mission, for he was well aware of the yslamiri that inhabited the vast foliage of the lush planet.

Yavin IV was specifically chosen for its natural habitat or rather the inhabitants that called this lush environment its home. Though it was hardly a proper safeguard against the threat that was Lord Vader and his Lady Queen, for a time, the Alliance Rebels acted out of these primitive headquarters without fear. However, their time of security had now come to an end and despite the Emperor's blatant attempts to keep Vader from this mission, the Sith Lord couldn't resist joining the Stormtroops in their investigation. He knew the Alliance Rebels were located here and was as eager to see them removed as his beloved. It had been too long since he had a real challenge to face, and the prospect of catching his enemies off guard was too much to resist.

Dormé did not seem to be the only one who desired to be there in person when the pitiful Rebellion was crushed. She wanted to hear their screams...to see her beloved's lightsaber slashing through them one by one...and to see their traitorous blood spilling forth like a sacrifice to her... It did not take long for the troops to land and Dormé strode through the dense forest at her beloved's side. Her thirst for blood was unquenchable.

Moving through the thick brush of forest Anakin remained close to Dormé's side ever watchful for any and all threats. But something did not feel quite right, though the Sith Lord could not explain what it was he felt. It was almost as though he could not feel anything or anyone at all. Frowning from within the confines of his mask, he continued onward, unaware that he was being watched and monitored from the shadows of the trees. Little did he realise that their prey had long since been aware of his arrival and were preparing to make an attack of their own.

Vader kept his thoughts to himself for the moment, however, they continued their journey through the forest to the ruins that over looked turbulent waters far below. It was then that he heard the sound of rustling in the trees and moved to activate his lightsaber. The sword sparked to life as it always did but something was off. The powerful weapon seemed weaker somehow and lacked the energy that normally accompanied it, as though something were hindering the crystal's energy.

Dormé was on guard as well, remaining close to her beloved as the troopers followed. Though she heard the rustling, it sounded like wings and she did not pay it much heed. When her Dark Lord turned sharply to look at her, her brow furrowed, thinking he sensed something. What he said shocked her.

He could no longer see her Force signature—or anything else for that matter—just as he could no longer hear the soft thrum of the Force or feel its cold tendrils around him. 'Dormé, something's wrong. I can't feel anything...I can't sense anything!' he said with growing panic.

'What does that mean?' she asked curiously, hearing the panic in his mechanical voice. 'I don't—I don't understand...'

Anakin struggled to clear his thoughts to tap into the darkness that had always calmed in him the past or at least gave him the heady rush that would ensure his fears were forgotten. However the harder he tried to touch the Force, the more he found himself unable to do so. It was as though he was grasping at thin air, or as though he were blind to the life energy that once coursed through his veins. Panic now gripped his mind as he clutched his lightsaber tighter.

The stormtroopers were on the verge of encircling the Rebel encampment only to discover that the entire region was set up with traps and hidden arsenal. From behind Dormé and Anakin, shadowed figures seem to just drop from the trees leaving them both surrounded by the now properly trained and seasoned ground fighters of the resistance.

It was not until Vader felt Dormé's hand on his arm that his thoughts were able to regain some semblance of coherency. He studied her in silent concern. 'I can't feel the Force Dormé. It's like—I can't feel anything, I can't touch it or sense it. It's like I'm numb to it,' he murmured in fear though through the vocabulator it sounded like a growl.

'What?' she asked, not understanding still. 'How can this be?' Dormé was becoming fearful as well and sure enough, the fear proved accurate as gun fire and explosions echoed all around and through the trees.

Vader shook his head unsure how to explain what had happened to him either though the answers would reveal itself at a later point. But before he could even guess at its cause, the dark lord's attentions were turned to the sound of explosions and gunfire. It was expected and normally he would have been thrilled at the possibility of enjoying such a battle but now his thoughts were elsewhere.

Vader had never really had to fight without the use of the Force before although he had trained in this fashion years ago. Nevertheless, he was left without another option and soon was caught up in the fray as Dormé whipped around, screeching curses in Uriashian as she thundered toward the shadowed figures.

Her main concern was protecting her beloved who seemed to have lost his ability to wield the Force for some reason. She would make them pay!

Though his lightsaber felt strange in his hands now—for it lacked the power it once wielded—the Sith Lord did not hesitate any longer and moved to attack. Without the dark side to guide his movement or amplify his skills Anakin's abilities were that of a normal human. As such while he was able to make his attacks with great viciousness, it lacked the speed and agility he was so accustomed to leaving Anakin feeling overly vulnerable. Given too his panicked state of mind the fallen Jedi was very ease prey for their attackers and it was not long before he was defending himself over attacking them.

The Alliance ground fighters were skilled and moved with greatest of ease marking their familiarity with this environment, however, Dormé was far more skilled than most and soon many fell to her blade. But there were still a few who proved themselves and despite Vader's attempts to stop them, it was becoming all too apparent that he was outnumbered. Moving as fast as he could, Anakin tried to ignore the fatigue that normally eluded him in battle. Just as he tried to ignore the fact that his attacks were not nearly as effective as they should have been. Soon the shots he was trying to block were getting closer to his armour. Struggling to protect both Dormé and himself, Vader unwittingly began to fallback towards the edges that overlooked the turbulent rapids below.

One pathetic rebel after another fell to Dormé's blade, but even when it was caked with blood, it was not enough for her. But this rage withered within her, though she was unclear as to why. She had no idea that her beloved's waning Force abilities directly influenced her darker tendencies.

Slashing and decapitating two attackers that had gotten too close Anakin started to believe that he was regaining control once more. But then a third came from out of nowhere—or so it felt—and without warning, fired a shot into his main chestplate, upsetting the controls of his ventilator. He cried out in rage and move to attack but the fighter was faster. Soon they fired off more shots into Vader's armoured form causing him to lose his balance and go careening off the edge of the small cliff and into the waters below.

The warrior was quick in her attacks and did not hesitate to take advantage of the Sith Lord's shock and inability to recover. It was not to say that she was far from safe, for her colleagues were falling rapidly to the witch's blade just as they were to Lord Vader's. Nevertheless, the former handmaiden known as Rabé would not give into her fears. It was because of this that she was able to even get close enough to the man that was once her mistress's husband. It was also because of this that she was able to show no mercy or falter in the face of victory as the Emperor's second-in-command plummeted into the rapids.

Though engrossed in battle, Dormé felt weakened in some way, as though her slashes were less efficient than they normally were. The custom-made wakizashi normally felt more balanced in her grip than it did today. Soon her attentions were diverted to her Dark Lord who was no longer by her side. She heard him crying out and rushed straight for him.

Instinctively, Anakin tried to use the Force to stabilize himself to dampen the fall but his thoughts reached out to nothing. His body hit the turbulent waters with a loud splash and Vader's thoughts scattered to blind panic as he tried desperately to reach the surface. Yet even as his body succumbed to the weight of the armour that continued to drag him downward, Anakin's thoughts promptly returned to Dormé. He recalled the last rebel who fought him and feared for her safety. This one seemed more skilled than the others, and with Dormé already being outnumbered, the thought made him try even harder to pull himself to the surface.

Rabé had not anticipated was the rush of shock to pour over her as her eyes fell to the woman clad in crimson. Throughout the battle, Rabé never did have time or a chance to get a close look at Lady Vader. But Lady Vader approached the cliff where Vader had fallen—ignoring the last of her prey left standing—Rabé caught sight of the familiar face and was stunned. Never in her life would she have guessed that the infamous Lady Vader was none other than Dormé Jaffa.

_Water!_ Cursing her gown, knowing it would not aid in rescuing him, Dormé quickly stripped, leaving her gown and sword in a pile, not caring who saw her, before diving in after Vader. It was lucky for them that one of the commander stormtroopers witnessed this.

By the time Rabé snapped out of her confusion and proceeded to trail the threat that was Dormé, the Lady of the Sith had already dove into the water to retrieve her lover. Upon arriving to shore, the camouflaged woman stared at the crumpled gown and blade and found herself faltering. But instincts worked fast and soon she was slipping into the shadows as she waited for Dormé's return to shore. It was hardly an honourable way to make a kill, but then when had either Lord Vader or his Queen shown honour?

Struggling to breathe the fallen Jedi's thoughts soon began to fade. Fighting against the inky blackness that was threatening to overtake him, the Sith Lord cursed himself for not being more careful. He cursed the Force for choosing now to abandon him and his beloved, but most of all he cursed himself for not being able to help Dormé and for ultimately placing her life in danger because of it. With these lingering thoughts Anakin's battle to breathe soon proved to be fruitless. Just as his desperate efforts to claw his way back to the surface was swiftly brought to an end, leaving the hulking black form to sink slowly to the bottom of the rushing rapids that bled into the river.

Dormé tried to find him under the water, but his armour made him so heavy, she could not pull him to the surface. It took a few dives before she was able to remove the helmet and most of the outer plating, to bring him up to the surface. He could not breathe without the mask working though, so even bring him to shore did little to help. 'Stay with me, Anakin,' she cried, trying to give him rescue breathing and praying it was of some use.

Vader's body was unresponsive at first to Dormé's rescue and by the time they reached shore, his skin was beginning to grow cold and take on a bluish hue. With his thoughts lost to the inky blackness of unconsciousness, Anakin appeared all but dead.

Too consumed in her attempt to rescue her beloved, Dormé refused to believe he would die. She did not give up, even when her rescue breathing did not seem to do anything at all.

However as Dormé began to breathe life into his lungs the broken man began to weakly stir. Slowly, he began to surface the realm of consciousness with each breath given until finally the fallen Jedi's eyes snapped opened as he began to cough up water and gasp for air, raspy though his breath was.

'My love!' she exclaimed. 'You're all right...you're going to be just fine...' Tears came to her eyes, but were not shed, for their safety had not been assured. She began removing his boots in order to heave him to his feet so they could get away.

Anakin as though in a hazy dream could hear Dormé's voice speaking to him and clutching onto the sound the struggling Sith Lord forced his broken lungs to breathe. It was a task in and of itself and in his disorientated state of mind he was struggling to grasp why he could not breathe as normal or where exactly he even was.

Unfortunately, as the Sith Lord came to, the threat that was the former handmaiden revealed herself once more as Rabé aimed her sights on Anakin's barely conscious form and began to fire.

Without her sword in hand, Dormé was defenceless. Shots were fired at Anakin, just slightly missing him. There was no use in using herself as a shield, but carrying him from this place, even with increased adrenaline, was not going to happen. She cursed herself for not thinking ahead of time and at least bringing a comlink.

Vader was conscious enough to recognise the sound of shots being fired, alerting him to trouble and his concerns immediately turned to Dormé's safety. Struggling to gasp for air, he tried to touch her thoughts to warn her to leave for cover, but soon remembered he could not touch the Force. This only added to the feeling that he was trapped in some horrible nightmare despite the fact it felt far too real to be a dream. '...Dormé...go to...safety...' he rasped trying to get her attention as she move to take off his boots. But if she heard, she did not respond.

Thankfully, Dormé did not have to wait long as an Imperial ship landed nearby.

Rabé did not remain long upon seeing the Imperial ship landing. Cursing the fact she did not react sooner, the former handmaiden was quick to depart to the thick woods to regroup with her comrades and depart to safety herself. Though she suffered wounds of her own from the shots fired, the former handmaiden survived the worst of the battle and knew she would be able to return to the _frontlines_ in time.

Anakin, however, was in a less than stable state and though he was able to stand it was a struggle to walk as the lack of oxygen was making him light-headed. Even worst came the wounds and blood loss from the shots that had pierced through his thick armour—due to the almost point-blank range they were fired at. 

The troopers fired at the rebels and helped her get Vader onto the ship to return to the Death Star.

The entire way, Dormé was mindful of her beloved, continuing to give him rescue breathing, even though he was conscious. It was easier for him to breathe her air, it seemed.

With Dormé's constant and mindful actions, Vader's struggling lungs were able to function well enough for the Sith Lord to return the ship without blacking out. In his almost dream like state the broken man couldn't help but give a hint of a smile as he struggled to stay focussed on his footsteps. For in his scattered thoughts he could not help but register that Dormé's actions and the fact he truly could breathe easier when they were sharing the same breath. Yet while he registered this, he was not entirely ignorant to the effect it was having on Dormé who now looked as weak as he felt. Though he was still struggling to figure out if this was real or dream, Anakin tried to whisper to her to save her energy.

She could not tell, nor did she care if the other officers gave her strange looks or made comments about Vader without his mask. When not giving rescue breaths to her beloved, she was giving orders to the commander. She had little breath left for herself, let alone words of comfort. So focused was she, that she heard every strained whisper Anakin directed toward her, but she would not listen. Dormé was so concerned for him, praying the exposure had not further damaged him.

Relief washed over her when the Death Star came into view. With help, they promptly took Vader to his specially equipped medical room where Anakin practically collapsed onto the cot in the room that was designed specifically for his needs. Struggling to remain conscious, the fallen Jedi's eyes soon closed, although he soon was reaching to take hold of Dormé's hand for he could not feel her through the Force. It was despairing to say the least and it left him feeling vulnerable, confused and frightened.

Dormé did not once think of the sword she left, nor of the scarlet gown and the fact she was practically naked in front of them. Her sole concern was Vader. Scared for him, she remained, holding his hand, feeling incredibly light-headed and her chest and lungs aching. She didn't realise she was also feeling what he felt, that even without his ability to wield the Force, the bond between them remained unaffected.

Even as Anakin tried to tell Dormé to rest, to save her energy his beloved would not listen and in the end, he was too weak to try to convince her further. However, almost as soon as the fallen Jedi found himself on the cot, he soon slipped into unconsciousness. Drifting in and out of consciousness, the Sith Lord's thoughts ever remained with his queen. Though he could not sense her, Anakin felt herhand in his for a time and it gave him strength not to succumb to the panic that warred within him.

As time passed, Vader found himself awakening to discover that Dormé's hand was no longer in his own. Frantic and fearful for his beloved and wife, the Sith Lord immediately inquired about her. The Medical droids soon informed him that she had fainted, which only added to the fallen Jedi's panicked state of mind. The droid told him that she was recovering herself in the next room. Frowning deeply and feeling a bit more alert than before, Vader demanded that she be placed in the same room as him. The droids thought otherwise and, cursing the fact he was unable to use the Force on them and being too weak to crush them with his own hands, Anakin found himself staring through the glass that now separated him from his beloved who rested on a cot of her own.

The medical droids put Dormé in a robe and administered an oxygen treatment and once she regained consciousness, she had a headache from everything that had happened. However, she was confused, wondering how she got there and if Anakin was all right. Her chest did not feel as tight and painful as it had before and soon she was sitting up and ignoring the droids that wished to check up on her as she returned to her beloved's side.

During the treatment, one of the stormtroopers arrived with her gown and blade. Though it was hardly the time to return it to the healing woman the gown was folded neatly and left with the sheathed but bloodied blade on a table in the corner of the room. They were both unaware of the officers spreading malicious gossip about their latest display, Dormé's in particular. She had 'quite shamelessly pranced around practically nude' in her efforts to save her beloved dark lord who 'seemed to have lost the will to live and jumped over a cliff'.

Quite awake and hardly amused at the fact the droids refused to let Dormé rest in the same room as him, Vader was most grateful to see Dormé regain consciousness. Though his body was still weak and his head ached for reasons he could not explain, he was relieved to see that his beloved was well enough to get up and out of bed. While his mind still struggled to comprehend what had happened and how exactly he got here, Vader's main concern was his queen.

Dormé took his hand once more, sitting this time next to the cot. Though she wanted to know how he was, she thought it best if he did not speak, so she decided against asking him questions until he was better. She was convinced he would be just fine, barely remembering or caring about his inability to wield the Force.

Almost as soon as Dormé went to join his side and take his hand, the fallen Jedi was squeezing her hand lightly and giving her a gentle smile. 'I'm glad...you're alright,' he said before adding in equally soft but sincere tones. '...Thank you.' While he could not recall all the events that had passed Anakin knew without question that Dormé had saved his life. But then this was a fact he had always known deep down, only this time she had saved in both the literal as well as metaphorical sense.

When her beloved spoke, Dormé shook her head. 'Don't try to speak,' she said, even though she was so grateful to hear his voice. She leant closer to kiss his cheek. 'The damage caused by the laser fire was minimal. You can hardly tell you were even fired upon now,' she said, hoping to ease any concerns he might have about what got through his armour.

Anakin gingerly moved to touch Dormé's cheek as she gently cautioned him to save his energy. Giving her a smile as she kissed his cheek, the Sith Lord fell silent as she further explained that the damage caused by laser fire was minimal. Furrowing his brow, he vaguely recalled being shot at and how the force of the gun fire had caused him to lose his balance, but his thoughts were promptly distracted as Dormé continued, directing his thoughts to more pleasant things.

'Now we just need the OK to get you out of here,' she remarked before leaning in to whisper in his ear about her plans for him upon reaching their quarters. She hoped this would motivate him into recovering and provide distraction from the failed mission.

If there was one thing that motivated him like nothing else, it was spending time with his beloved queen. Despite her encouragement, however, his thoughts returned to the fact he could not feel the Force. It was disorientating and unsettling for the _silence_ felt was deafening to say the least. But it was a comfort to know Dormé was near, that she was all right and safe. 'I'm sure I'm fine enough to leave,' he remarked in stronger tones, though it was obvious he was far from healed. This did not stop Vader from trying to sit up in preparation of leaving. The last thing he wanted was to be stuck in the infirmary in this disorientating state of mind. At least in their own chambers, he was in familiar and comfortable territory. At least there, he would feel more at ease and could at least attempt to make sense of the events and what happened without medical droids hounding him for vitals. More importantly, he could at least be alone with his queen.

'Hold on, let them finish their duties,' she said when he tried to sit up.

Anakin gave a frustrated sigh at her words and tried to sit up anyways. 'I'm sure I'll be fine,' he began. If only he knew what caused his abilities to fade away and if there would be any chance of regaining them. Try as he might to ignore the dark whispers, Anakin found himself growing fearful that with the departure of his power Dormé would no longer wish to remain by his side even though it was very clear that she felt entirely the opposite.

Lightly placing her hand on his shoulders to have him lie back down, Dormé added, 'I want to make sure you are well enough before we retire and I can lavish you with attention.' She winked at him even though it was clear he was in a sour mood. The last thing on Dormé's mind was Anakin's inability to wield the Force. In fact, by the time she recovered from her faint, she had forgotten about it entirely. Her first priority was seeing that her beloved was well on the mend so they could attend to more _pressing_ matters...and hunt the Rebels down when they got a chance.

Frowning the Sith Lord glanced away knowing at this point arguing with her was a lost cause. Despite his foul state of mind, Vader could not deny Dormé's words did not hold a charm of their own and at her wink, he felt his mood lighten slightly.

The wait was not as long as Dormé expected. Once Vader was given a temporary replacement mask, they were free to leave. She did not even notice the sword and gown in the other room as they exited the infirmary for their quarters. 'Are you hungry or thirsty?' she asked upon arriving at their quarters. She wanted to make him as comfortable as possible during his recovery.

Anakin furrowed his brow and shook his head to Dormé's words as he removed the temporary mask in disgust. 'No I'm fine,' he remarked quietly as he studied her curiously. Had he been less distracted by his concerns about the Force Anakin would have picked up on the fact Dormé was without her gown or blade almost immediately. Despite this missed observation, the Sith Lord did notice it now and growing both curious and concerned he quietly approached her.

She nodded when he said he did not want anything and poured a shot of apsinthos for herself.

'What happened to your gown and blade?' he asked gently. 'Did you want me to have someone get it for you?' he offered presuming it was removed when she was being tended to by the medical staff earlier and unaware she had removed them before then.

At his remark, Dormé remembered she was still in the hospital gown and blushed. She downed the shot and decided she ought to put on something else. As she moved to do so, she explained, 'Oh, well I actually—' she began, but stopped herself.

Anakin gave a smile to her blush as in reality he was hardly bothered by her appearance in the hospital gown. In truth, she looked as lovely as always to him.

'When you fell over the cliff, I knew it would be too heavy, so I took it off and left my sword when I dived in to rescue you.' Now that she had on a simple nightgown, she was at least more presentable to her dark lord.

Her reply made him furrow his brow in silent shame. He hated being helpless and hated even more the fact that his situation had caused Dormé to lose the blade she held so dear and one of her favourite gowns. Growing apologetic, he glanced away briefly as he cursed himself and cursed his luck. 'I'm terribly sorry. This is all my fault. I'll have the ship go back so we can get it for you,' he suggested not thinking, nor caring how risky such a manoeuvre would be.

'Oh no, it's fine,' Dormé said, gracefully closing the distance between them. She shook her head at his suggestion.

Anakin fell silent at Dormé's words as he grew awkward. He felt terrible for causing her to lose her weapon which was quite dear to her and the gown. Though they could easily be replaced Vader knew it wouldn't be the same. The blade had such history behind it now, as did the gown. Not they were lost and he had no one to blame but himself.

Slipping her arms around him, she said, 'What matters is that I've got you.'

Dormé's words touched him, however, another part of him grew divided and doubtful. _What exactly does she have now?_ he thought in despair and concern. _A broken man whose body is more machine than flesh, whose powers have now been denied him._ He glanced away at the thought as he felt her arms around him. The Sith Lord tried to silence his dark thoughts, but it was too much to ignore. Though he wanted to hold her, Anakin felt so unworthy of the beauty who now studied him closely.

_Why would she want to remain by your side? You are nothing more than a monster, a cyborg, a broken shell of what you once were,_ his dark thoughts whispered into his mind. Anakin frowned as he struggled with his thoughts before quietly slipping away from Dormé's embrace and moving quietly to their inner chambers. He had to clear his mind, meditate and try to figure out what happened, to find a way to regain what he had lost. At the very least attempt to learn what had happened. Desperate and frantic, Anakin clung to the hope that if he could understand what happened he could be one step closer to finding a way to regain his lost powers. For without them, what good was he to his queen?

Dormé frowned when he moved away from her. She paused for a moment before turning to where he had walked. She had no idea what was going on in his head.

While the missing limbs had always troubled him, Anakin was able to take comfort in the fact that his powers had not entirely diminished with the loss, that despite the augmentations, he was still able to wield the Force as he always had. Now he could not even do that. The fallen Jedi felt useless and even bit the broken form he was and could hardly fathom why his beloved would wish to remain by his side now.

She waited a moment before following Anakin. She only wanted to comfort him in the way she knew how, to hopefully get his mind off what was bothering him. She knew he would talk about it when he was ready to. Dormé was unaware that she too had lost her lust for the dark side, for her sole concern was Vader, her beloved, her king, her Anakin. As much as she lusted after the power he wielded, she loved him more.

Anakin drew in a deep breath as he struggled to clear his thoughts to make sense of it all. But his mind was a scattered mess of emotions and doubts leaving him prey to the despair he sought to ignore. The fallen Jedi could hear his beloved approaching but could not stop himself from pacing. Their future once so set in stone had just become so unclear to him—or perhaps it was blatant clarity that frightened him more than anything else. He felt so vulnerable and exposed—a feeling he had thought he had known and grown comfortable with Dormé over the years only to discover that it was not anything compared to this. It were as though he had been stripped of all defences, even the ones he wasn't aware of; leaving behind only the rawest of his emotions and thoughts in its wake. Had he not been so frightened by it Anakin might have found it oddly liberating. However, he was too consumed by his fear that Dormé would depart from him that the only ray of light in his life would leave.

After watching him pace for awhile, she grew concerned about his health, despite assurances from the droids, she didn't want him overdoing it. 'No more thinking, Anakin. Come to bed. Things will look better in the morning.'

Unaware that he had been pacing for some time, Anakin only drew out of his thoughts at Dormé's words. Frowning, he glanced to her in concern and then silent sorrow as he approached almost shyly towards her. 'And if they don't?' he asked softly, 'then what?'

Dormé studied him intently, watching for any signs that she might have to alert a medical droid to attend him. When he approached, her expression softened. She slipped her arms around him again. 'I'm not sure what you mean by that,' she admitted. 'But I know you'll wear yourself out pacing like that. 'You wouldn't want me to have to give you rescue breathing again just yet, now would you?' Dormé slightly teased, if only to lighten his mood.

He gave a hint of a sad smile at her teasing. 'That depends on what sort of rescue breathing you have in mind,' he teased back as he tried to ignore his doubts and concerns. Anakin bowed his head at her confusion, before shaking it slightly in reply. 'I feel lost without my ability to touch the Force,' he admitted quietly. 'I don't know what happened, it just faded away without warning.' he continued in concern.

The Force, so it was about that, Dormé realised. It was still something she could not quite understand and now Anakin could not use it anymore. She knew it was something he had had since he was born and to suddenly not have it anymore must be a shock to him. She nodded in understanding once he explained himself.

As he allowed her to lead him to the bed, the Sith Lord fell prey to his insecurities once more. Without the dark side acting as a silent cloak, a protective, albeit destructive mask, Anakin's every emotion and thought was raw and glaring. It was frightening to the man who had spent the past almost twenty years hiding behind the darkness he had grown to dependent on.

She considered it a small success leading him to bed, because she was still more concerned about him recovering from his injuries. She was about to help him undress when he touched her cheek, distracting her.

'Why do you stay with me? I mean, I have nothing to offer you anymore,' he said sadly. 'I am nothing, but a broken man, I can't even touch the Force anymore.'

Dormé would have found his question to be silly, had she still been under that cloak of darkness, but as she was not, it resonated deeply within her. She studied his eyes for a moment. 'Because I love you,' she replied sincerely.

Though his powers would return and with it, the dark cloak he had grown so used to, this moment would forever remain within his thoughts like a ray of light. For in her simple statement carried a truth that could never be denied or forgotten. As he returned her gentle, amber gaze, the Sith Lord—no longer blinded by the darkness—came to a new realization that he should have always known but could never truly comprehend.

'Even if you never touched the Force again, I would still love you and want to be with you.'

His true strength was not with the Force, nor in his powers or skills as a Sith or Jedi; it was Dormé. It had always been Dormé, for she was what made him complete. It was her soul that filled the empty places of his own, while her strengths were what compensated his weaknesses. With this new understanding came a completely new appreciation to her words. Remaining silent, he could study her in silent gratitude for he feared he would only succumb to his emotions should he speak.

As though understanding the powerful silence that had fallen between them, Dormé silently began to undress him, kissing each exposed piece of healed, but scarred flesh, and comforting him in the only way she knew how.

In turn, Anakin mimicked her actions, wanting to express his silent gratitude and love in a fashion that spoke volumes, but did not require words. It was a moment he would never forget for as long as he lived and during the dark hours when they were to be forced apart, this was something he would return to often for the sacredness it held. It was a sanctuary of another sort, one that he would never fully understand or completely appreciate until his return to the light.

It was hard to explain, but despite all of the years behind them, all the tears, the hatred and pain they had endured, the fierceness in battle and passions they had shared, without the barriers and masks of the dark side, they were at least for this moment, completely open and receptive to each other. In its own way, this was perfection.

This temporary lapse in the darkness provided a window in time that would aid them later when confronted with the horrors of the atrocities they committed. For now, it was another level of sanctuary they had never reached before and would not again until they were reunited in the realms of Harmony.

The bliss that followed was something Anakin had never felt before in his life and would not again until it was time for him to cross the veil. Though he believed his senses had been dulled—numbed even because of his inability to touch the Force—in reality it was quite the opposite. For the first time they saw each other as they were meant to behold one another. It was beautiful and ethereal in ways that he could not describe if he tried and yet it was not necessary for he knew that Dormé felt the same. Even with the Force to give him insight to her emotions as revealed through her signature Anakin just knew she understood.

Later as she was lying with him, she pressed her chest against his, bare flesh against bare flesh. Now she was able to feel his heart beating with her own. It was as if to say _'Even if you never regain the lost Force abilities, you will never lose me, for you and I are one'_ though the words were never spoken aloud.

Holding Dormé close and revelling in the heaven that was her arms, Anakin gave a contented sigh as she shifted. Feeling her chest against his own, the Sith Lord smiled as he listened to the sound of their heartbeats beating in tune. It was as soft and soothing as the feeling of Dormé's dark brown locks that now twirled between his fingers. Though not a word was exchanged in the silence, so much was spoken. Their souls were able to mingle and communicate freely, without the oppressive force that had normally dulled and numbed their gentler aspects.

Though none of this could fully be appreciated by Anakin until his return to the light, Vader would never forget the strange sense of sorrow felt when his sensitivity to the Force returned. For now, all he knew was that in this place, in this moment, there was perfect tranquillity and perfect peace. That as undeserving as he knew he was, there was someone who loved him despite all of his flaws and all of his imperfections. This alone made the fallen Jedi feel as though he were as rich and powerful as the emperor himself.

Nothing felt more complete and at peace than when she was in his arms. There were no questions here, only answers slowly unfolding as the years passed by. Dormé loved this man more than anything or anyone in the universe, including herself. And she never felt truly like herself, her true self, except for when she was alone with him.

After a long while, she pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, leaving as much of her body touching his as possible. In silence, she just looked at him, the real, vulnerable him, past all the lies and fronts, past the darkness that clouded their vision. Here there was only truth. She stroked his cheek, his arm, his back, his chest, every part of his physical being that was merely a shell for the other half of her soul. During this time, her eyes never left his.

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** A/N:** More soon! In the meantime, check out the AU Dormékin ship!

**Updates to the site**—dramatic-personae (dot) net/dormekin.   
**New Lj communiy**—anakin (underscore) dorme  
The LJ community is for Vader/Dormé and Anakin/Dormé D


	14. An Empire Falling

****_The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love  
And I don't know where to look  
My words just break and melt  
Please just save me from this darkness  
_-Snow Patrol

From Coruscant, Palpatine sensed his apprentice's recovery. Opening his eyes, a sinister smile crept onto his face. Though he was still _disappointed_ at how Vader disobeyed his command that he refrain from going to Yavin IV, he knew it was his own fault. Forbidding things from Vader only made him want it more. But all this was past and soon the pitiful Rebellion would be crushed...

* * *

As always, heaven never lasted for long for Anakin. While for him the embrace of his queen was as close to being in heaven as a man could ever ask for, these past few days were even more so than usual. There was something oddly clarifying about this experience, though he could never comprehend what it was exactly. It was something he would never forget and would always cherish and secretly long for.

But with the passing of days, Anakin began to find his senses within the Force beginning to return. It was strange how, at one time, he would have been so overjoyed to hear and feel the familiar hum that was the life-Force around him. Now he could not help, but feel almost mournful. This confused him, for he did not know why he should feel this way. It was as though deep down he knew it was the end of something sacred, as though this experience had brought him closer to Dormé than ever before. It was as though they had crossed a barrier that he never knew existed before and now it was returning once more.

For this reason, Anakin found himself almost wishing and hoping that what he felt was nothing more than his imagination, that the hum was just a trick of his mind, that the Force signatures he saw was his eyes fooling him. As he awoke in the arms of his queen on this particular morning, the Sith Lord could not deny the truth any longer. While a great part of him was relieved, another part of him was saddened.

Watching Dormé as she rested in his arms, Vader quietly recalled her words to him on that fateful day and silent, but symbolic actions that followed. He could still feel her amber eyes studying him intently, holding in their gaze all the love and peace that a mortal soul could contain. Anakin could still remember how complete he had felt in her arms, feeling her skin against his own and hearing their hearts beating in unison. It was sheer perfection and harmony of a sort he had never known before in his life. Now it was gone, leaving in its wake only the memories of that mystery. He felt so fortunate to have been able to experience this and with silent reverence, he brushed back a strand of her dark hair as he smiled at her.

Then without another thought, he closed his eyes and buried himself in her hair as he breathed her soft scent of rained flowers deeply. _My dearest beloved, how you complete me in ways I've never could have imagined,_ he whispered into her thoughts with all the love he could give in that moment.

Though the first day Vader was injured and lost his abilities to touch the Force had been extremely trying for him, Dormé was pleased to find that something had changed between them, something incredible. She had only been trying to help ease his concerns and insecurities, but found something else entirely in its wake.

As she was unable to wield the Force, she did not know his abilities were returning, nor was she aware that soon the effect of this would affect her as well, that the darkness would seep back into her again because it poisoned him. Dormé would never completely understand what passed between them on the days without the dark side's presence, but it was something that she would always hold dear. On this morning as she slowly awoke, she smiled. In her dreams, she heard him whisper to her. So many years they had been together and she would never tire of hearing and _feeling_ how much he loved her. Little did she know, another, one whom she could never compete with, would soon disrupt the bliss she felt: his son.

Holding her close, Anakin silently relished the peace of this moment, the perfection that was in reality flawed by the darkness that had returned to him. Feeling and sensing her stir, the Sith Lord gently continued to nuzzle his face in her long hair while playing with the strands with his fingers.

'Good morning, my love,' he murmured softly before moving to kiss her cheek as he tightened his embrace around her petite waist. Unaware of the rift that was to come because of the return of his Force sensitivity, Anakin could only sense the closeness of his beloved. Though this moment felt more distant than the past few days, Anakin was far too relieved to have his powers return to pay it heed. This would be one insensitivity that would continually break his beloved's heart and in time would return to haunt him with a vengeance.

Dormé always loved the way it felt awakening in his arms, his face buried in the crook of her neck, his hand playing with the ends of her hair. So many years passed in this manner, but it somehow held more meaning since the loss of his powers.

'Mmmm,' she sighed as he kissed her cheek. Opening her eyes to gaze back into his, her smile broadened. 'Good morning. Did you sleep well?' she asked, stroking his back.

Her sigh of contentment warmed his heart and seemed to complete his thoughts. Watching her in silence as she opened her eyes Anakin could not help revel in the beauty of her amber orbs. He did not think he would ever grow tired of studying them or enjoying her smile. Returning it with one of his own, he caught her greeting and gave a soft purr in reply as he nodded rather enjoying her touch against his skin. If only such moments like this could last forever.

'With my queen in my arms, how could I not?' he purred in reply as he moved to touch her cheek gently.

'I just have to make sure you're not getting tired of me,' she kidded with a wink as he moved to touch her cheek, 'because that would be a punishable offence.'

Anakin shook his head at her teasing before growing more serious. 'My beautiful queen, as if I'd ever grow tired of you,' he said softly as he studied her intently knowing she was teasing but taking the matter seriously anyway. Sending her an impish smile, he spoke into her thoughts. _What about you, my love? Did you have a good rest as well? _

Dormé hummed in reply, saying, 'Marvellous.' Dormé noticed he had not moved his lips. This did not resonate with her at first, but when it did, she gasped. 'Did you just— You can touch the Force again?' She smiled at the news, glad for him, though she realise this meant the connection they had shared would not happen again in this life.

At his less than subtle hint he smiled in reply to her response before grinning at her surprise. He nodded simply in reply though for a brief moment a hint of sadness flickered in his eyes. It was as though some part deep within him knew this meant an ending of another sorts, that in reality, this was the calm before the silent storm.

Though it was subtle and she was not consciously aware of it, she too felt a tinge of sadness at this revelation. She smiled softly at him before giving him a kiss. Little did she know just how everything would change.

Vader eagerly returned her kiss feeling as though everything was as it should be in the universe. If only he could understand that, in reality, that moment had long since passed.

'What's your first plan of action with the return of your powers?' she asked curiously with a bratty grin. She knew it was something that had been with him his entire life and had a feeling he missed being in touch with it.

At her question and mischievous smile, the Sith Lord smirked as he purred moving to kiss her throat. 'Unleash hell on our pathetic, but stubborn enemies. After all they've done to us, it only seems fair we return the favour,' he murmured.

'Mmmm,' she replied to his _plans_ as he kissed her neck. She drew him closer, running her fingers over his back.

'But that can wait. For now, I'd much rather enjoy basking in the presence of my queen,' he said between kisses.

Dormé always enjoyed his mischievous smiles and eternally cursed the mask he was forced to wear because she was certain there were many more she had missed because of it. 'I like that idea,' she said, giggling a little when he found a ticklish spot.

Dormé's purr only encouraged Anakin who continued to kiss her throat enjoying the feel of her skin against his lips. As she drew him closer, her fingers running over his back, the Sith Lord tightened his embrace around her as well. It seemed the only time he ever felt complete was when Dormé was in his arms and this time was no different. Vader could feel her contentment and mischievous joy and loved how it intermingled with his own. Yet, there was no denying that despite the fact he could feel her emotions through the Force, there was a silent distance between them. However, he was too distracted by the sound of her giggles and her words to pay it any heed. 'Good,' he murmured in reply as he moved to kiss her lips

Unfortunately for them, their time of bliss was drawing to an end. The holocom warbled at them.

Giving a tired sigh, he glanced to its direction before returning his attentions to Dormé once more. 'Whoever it is, they can wait,' he remarked softly as for the moment he forgot that he could just as easily destroy the com or silence it. Knowing if it was something urgent from the Emperor, Anakin would have felt it since his powers had returned, so Dormé was in agreement. After all, what could possibly be more important than the two of them?

Another hour drifted away before the com beeped at them again. As irritating as it was, something told Dormé that it was news they needed to be aware of. as much as she wanted to ignore it, by the time the com beeped a third or fourth time, Dormé rose from the bed, donning a robe and activated the com.

Anakin was more than eager to lose himself in the presence of his beloved, however the com beeped again. Frowning, Anakin was about to take matters into his own hands, when Dormé rose from the bed to grab a robe and answer it. 'You don't have to do that. I'll just make them return later,' he offered as he too sat up.

The com flickered to reveal Colonel Veers's right-hand officer, alerting her that Moteé was dead. 'What do you mean?' she demanded. 'Who told you this? What's happened over there?'

Even when the officer transferred the link to someone else, it seemed no one could give her a straight answer. 'What the _urugal_ is that supposed to mean?...No I will not wait for you to get your accounts together!'

'Milady,' the second officer began.

Dormé cursed at him, swearing she would kill him herself for this. She ended the call abruptly as tears came to her eyes. She had no idea that this need for vengeance slipping into her blood was do to the fact Anakin had regained his abilities. She had not felt so angry about something in awhile and it was worse because her friend was dead.

It was not long before Anakin was dressed and joining her side only to catch Dormé's final remarks. Furrowing his brow, he moved to slip his arms around her. 'What's wrong? Is everything alright?' he asked softly.

She turned into Vader's embrace, saying, 'It's Moteé...' Dormé's breath hitched as she tried not to shed any tears. 'She's dead. She was killed while on a retreat with her family... No one can give me straight answers as to what happened and... I can't believe...she's dead...'

Anakin frowned at Dormé's response and instinctively tightened his embrace as he tried to calm his rage at the mention of Dormé's old 'friend'. He hated her and hated even more the way she would treat his beloved. When Dormé admitted that she was dead, Anakin raised a brow in surprise. This day just seemed to be getting better by the minute. 'It's about time she got what she deserved,' he muttered hardly finding this to be something worth mourning about.

What her beloved muttered at her words was like a stake through her heart. 'Got what she deserved?' she asked, looking up at him to see if she had heard clearly. 'She was my friend—She was the only one I could ever talk to—before you, I didn't--' She couldn't help crying now.

Anakin fell silent upon hearing Dormé question his inconsiderate statement. It was too late now to take back his statement and so the Sith Lord fell silent feeling every bit the fool he was. As Dormé continued to speak Vader felt his shame grow as he cursed himself for not keeping silent about his thoughts from the start.

She thought about the good times she had with Moteé when they were handmaidens all those years ago. Sure, there had been times that she only later realised, thanks to her good, true friendship with Anakin which showed Moteé in a less-than-pleasant light, but despite all of that, when it came down to it, she was her friend. She missed her. She wished she could have made an effort to see her since Amidala's funeral, but she had not and the longer she waited, the harder it was. Now it was too late.

'I'm sorry,' he finally whispered as he ran a hand through her dark hair. 'I'm truly sorry,' he apologized wishing he could take back his statement as he ran his hand against her back in half circles. But his words could neither bring back Moteé nor take back his inconsiderate statement. The damage was done and now all he could do was offer what help he could in her need to find answers. Anakin tried to—albeit too late—keep a more serious frame of mind. After all, despite all that Moteé had done to her, it was obvious that Dormé was troubled by this and he wanted to offer what support he could. 'Do you want to start an investigation?' he offered hoping this might ease a little of her concerns or at least provide some of the answers she sought.

When he asked about an investigation, she could only nod as the tears poured down her cheeks.

Offering to do an investigation was the very least he could do and Dormé willingly accepted it. As much as Vader wanted to reward the man -or woman- who completed the deed he knew how Dormé would want to get to the bottom of it and he would help her in what way he could.

For some reason, despite the comfort offered in his embrace and that she took him at his word that he was sorry, it somehow felt artificial. It had nothing to do with the replaced limbs, merely the affection was not, it seemed, as sincere as it ought to have been. Even so, Dormé accepted it. She would not have known the difference between genuine and artificial if it had not been for those few days without his Force abilities. But even this revelation was just out of touch for her.

Anakin held Dormé close as he did his best to comfort her in what way he could. Though he was hardly sorry for Moteé's death, he was quite aware of the fact his words were callous and only served to hurt her further. For that, he truly was apologetic as the last thing he wanted was to hurt Dormé and yet in the days to come he would continue to do so without even trying.

After the tears passed, she apologised for crying, though she was entitled to it. She hated being seen as weak, even to her beloved. 'I know you've probably got better things to do and I really ought to tend to this investigation myself as it will probably involve me going back to Naboo for awhile,' she murmured, still holding him tightly.

As her tears drew to an end Dormé apologized, leaving Anakin feeling further shamed for Dormé had no reason to apologize. It was as though she were building a defence or placing up a protective guard. While he had seen this before the thought of her doing this because of him was troubling to say the least. Her remarks about tending to the investigation should have further warned Vader of this silent defensive reaction but it did not.

For with the recent return of his sensitivity within the Force Anakin was lost to the all too familiar heady rush of the Dark side that he would normally ignore. As such, he was far too distracted to even pay heed to the important clues and symptoms that would mark the rift that would form between them.

Though Anakin knew that Dormé could hold her own easily in battle he did not really want her to pursue Moteé's murderer by herself, for if this was a rebel attack, Dormé could be outnumbered and placed in danger. At the same time, he had his own mission to tend to that was given to him by the Emperor himself. Not to mention the fact he was hardly interested in harming the one who did him the great favour of killing Moteé—rebel or not. So to her words, he remained silent, knowing that she was very aware of his dislike for Moteé. He would not insult her intelligence by pretending as if he wanted to find the killer, for Dormé would obviously know otherwise. He did sincerely want to support her.

Dormé was unaware that she was putting up any sort of guard around her heart because of her beloved's callousness. Though she was upset and felt, as Vader did, that revenge would make her feel better, give her some closure, after Moteé's death. She knew it would be best tended to alone. Even without his remark, she knew that he never cared for Moteé and she would not get anywhere on this matter, not to her satisfaction, unless she did it alone.

'I understand if you wish to tend to this matter alone, but at least take some of the Stormtroopers with you,' he said quietly. As he held her close, Anakin could not deny the strange emptiness that began to creep into his thoughts. If she were to indeed depart for Naboo it would be the first time they were apart since they realized their feelings for each other. Though he was not consciously aware of this, deep within there was a part of him that knew something was wrong. If only he could understand what that was, but despite the brief clarity given only a short time ago Vader easily fell prey to the darkness that now coursed through his veins once more.

Dormé appreciated the offer of stormtroopers, knowing he would not have offered if he did not think it was necessary. 'OK,' she replied, nodding. Looking up at him, she saw something resembling worry in his expression, but merely assumed it was because they had not been apart for all those years since they realised their feelings for each other, nothing more.

Her simple agreement should have alleviated his fears but for some reason it only worsened them. Anakin could not explain it, nor could he hope to understand but as he held her close to him, the Sith Lord could not help but feel as though she were a million light years away. Furrowing his brow, he kept his thoughts to himself for in his mind it was only his paranoia over the fact this would be their first time apart in years. In reality, it was nothing short of the truth trying to reveal itself to him.

'I will get to the bottom of her murder as soon as possible, my love,' she murmured, already missing him and feeling a small emptiness in her heart that would only grow in time.

As he felt her amber eyes studying his own blue orbs, Vader found himself feeling strangely lonely though he did his best to ignore it. For it reminded him of that strange sadness he felt upon first registering the return of his powers. At her murmured words, he gently touched her cheek as he gave her a hint of a smile that did not entirely hide the creeping sadness. 'Please promise me Dormé that you will be careful,' he said softly in reply. 'That you will return to me safe and sound,' he added in concern.

* * *

Though she was not aware of it, so much had changed since Vader regained his Force abilities. There was something between them once more, blinding them from even seeing it. Dormé was unaware that this dark mistress's hold would cause him to be less perceptive to her, that it would take longer for him to realise that anything bothered her unless she spoke of it. While this would become something that would break her heart over and over again, it would not be until after her death that she understood the reasons behind it.

A little while after her beloved was restored to his previous level, she received some disturbing intel. The information was scattered and unclear at first, but it became clear that something terrible had happened. Dormé's dear friend Moteé Veers had died. Wanting to know the details of her friend's death and to murder whoever was responsible, Dormé told her beloved that this was a mission she had to undertake herself. She knew the Emperor would not be pleased if his apprentice left off his mission searching out the lost Death Star plans to investigate the murder—for what else could it be if not murder?—of one of the lesser members of the Imperial Army. She also knew Anakin never much cared for Moteé, even heard him refer to her in a not-so-kind way on more than one occasion.

With what little information she had, she wanted to seek conclusions she desired, particularly names of people she could kill. Though she was adamant about going alone, Vader insisted she take troopers with her. She told him, if any of them did anything that offended or annoyed her, she could not promise that they would return with her in one piece. He seemed more amused by this than taking it as an actual threat, but as she was still very upset by her friend's death, she was not in the mood to be humorous. He touched her cheek and expressed his wishes that her mission would be completely safely so that she would return to him soon. As she was unable to kiss his mask, she took his gloved hand and kissed it, trying to remain strong as she said farewell.

She felt as though everything would be different upon her return. Her beloved would be leaving soon after she did to one of the moons of Ralltiir while she was on Naboo. In the decades they had been together, this trip would end up being the longest they had ever been apart since she was first brought to his command ship. This would also be the first time she returned to Naboo since she left after her mistress's funeral. She wished she had not waited so long to return.

So much had changed on Naboo and yet, aspects of the scenery remained untouched despite the overt Imperial presence. As a former handmaiden of Senator Amidala, daughter of a rich lord, and wife of one of the advancing Imperial officers, Moteé Veers's funeral was an occasion of its own. Though it was nothing in comparison to the funeral of their mistress, it was definitely in the running for its splendour.

During the procession and funeral rites, Dormé's attendance took almost all of the spotlight away from the departed, though that had not been her attention. More civilian eyes were on Lady Vader than on the casket. She did not notice this, for she was watching Moteé's young son. Her heart went out to the boy. What she would not give to take the boy in her arms and care for him as though he were her own! She could not help lamenting she was unable to conceive, though she was almost to the age when conception was rare.

After the funeral was over, she approached Veers, offering him a new position as a member of the elite Imperial Death Squadron, assuring him that she would seek out those who were responsible and make sure they pay dearly. Satisfied with her words and reverential to her presence, Veers accepted the offer, which pleased Dormé. As though she were a goddess giving a mortal her blessing, she touched Veers's son on the head. She told Veers that his son would do Moteé a great honour by enlisting once he came of age.

Flanked by her Imperial troops, Dormé left the funeral temple to investigate possible conspirators linked with Moteé's death. No one dared speak to her, unless she directly questioned them about involvement. She enjoyed the fear and respect she received and it felt quite liberating to have them plead for mercy before she killed them. The only person she was not able to track down was Rabé.

It was not long before she was packing to leave Naboo to seek out Rabé. Before she boarded her ship, she received terrible news. Dormé would never forget the exact moment that she heard it. The Death Star had been destroyed. The Rebels destroyed their indestructible weapon! The Rebels had been able to get past their defences! The Rebels?! They could not have killed her beloved though, certainly not. She refused to believe it. However, all the intel she received was that he was last seen on board. There were no records of him escaping.

Dormé boarded the ship, demanding they take off for the last reported location of the Death Star, which happened to be near the planet Yavin IV. All that remained of the Death Star were bits and pieces of the explosion hovering near the planet. Fear rushed through her, thinking if he had escaped, he would have landed on Yavin IV and once again lost his Force powers, leaving him extremely vulnerable to the Rebels…

But no one heard anything. No one could tell her anything. In her rage, she killed everyone on her ship except the pilots. But nothing could satiate her fury.

She blockaded herself in her private quarters on the ship, pulling at her hair and throwing things across the room until she fell on the bed in tears. She felt so lost and alone without her beloved by her side. If he truly were dead, she would not know what to do.

After awhile, she eyed her bloodied wakizashi and set about meticulously cleaning it in preparation for a suicide ritual. If her Anakin was dead, she would not suffer herself to remain alive any longer.

With the sparkling clean blade set in front of her, dressed in the richest gown she had brought with her, Dormé bowed reverentially to the blade.

Slowly, with tears streaming down her cheeks, she gracefully turned the blade in her hand so that it was aimed at her chest. She practiced by outlining the form in which she would artistically carry out the suicide as all skilled swordsmen would. It would be done artfully.

'I will not be long, my love,' she murmured, ready to commit the act this time.

In this mission, she would not fail.


	15. The Mortality of a Goddess

_Another page I turn in shame.  
And my decisions brought me to my knees,  
I needed someone to blame_

With the return of his Force powers Anakin felt as though he were once more on top of the universe. Everything seemed to fall into place in ways that he could not have ever hoped or even anticipated. First, there was the news of Moteé's death—a passing that would have occurred years ago if he had his way. Anakin could not have denied his joy if he tried. He had always hated that wretched woman for the way she treated his queen and was most relieved to know she had met her end. Dormé however was hardly pleased by this turn of events and openly desired to seek vengeance on the one who committed this _crime._

Hardly concerned about the murderer—whom in his opinion deserved a medal—Anakin's thoughts rested more with his beloved's security than anything else. He almost pitied the killer but knew better than to interfere with Dormé's plans. Yet, as she departed, the Sith Lord could not ignore the emptiness the lingered at her passing. He had never been away from her for such a long period of time since they first learnt of their feelings for each other. It was a lonely feeling one that marked a transition that would in time grow into a rift between them that would not truly ever pass until their return to the light.

Soon his thoughts were turned to battle and the rebels and with it came a series of events that would lead to his greatest and most moving discovery. The Death Star's destruction was an unnecessary annoyance, although Anakin could not deny the fact it resulted in the death or more than one person he wanted dead but could not because of his master. It also sparked many questions he was eager to have answered. It was because of this that the Sith Lord found himself repairing his ship as quickly as possible upon its crash landing and returning to Coruscant. He was determined to find out who was responsible for its destruction and could not quite wrap his mind around the fact it was a single pilot who achieved this. There had only been one who was capable in his mind of completing such a feat and that was none other than himself.

It left him utterly determined to learn who this mysterious pilot was and just why he felt such a strange familiarity to him. Vader also was most curious to discover why it was only now that this incredibly Force sensitive being had not been noticed by him or his master before. With the Death's Star's destruction, Anakin was unable to access anything related to security that could shed light on mysterious boy, outside of the fact he obviously knew his former Master Obi-Wan and that his name was Luke, a name that Padmé fancied at one time. It was a memory of the past that felt like a life time ago, serving to remind Anakin once more of what he had lost and all that he had gained from it.

The thought also made him think of Dormé who was now attending Moteé's funeral on Naboo. He could only imagine the opulence that went into the procession—such a waste given the trash they were burying—but the thought brought a sigh that never left his lips. He missed Dormé for more reasons than he was aware and was already looking forward to her return. He never felt quite right when she was not around though this too was something he could not entirely register.

A soft chime from the comlink demanded his attentions and with it came messages pertaining to any and all recent Rebel activity. It was not their activity that he was concerned with, rather possible new recruits that had joined the ranks as of recent. His contacts for the most part proved useless in their information but in the end, it was a plant that had been set amongst the Rebel ranks that bore the details he sought.

'I don't know if this is of any use to you—' the man began.

'I'll be the judge of that. Continue,' Vader snapped to which the younger man gave a stiff nod as he spoke.

'Three members of the Alliance were awarded medals for their direct participation in the Death Star's destruction, personally rewarded by the Princess herself. There was one wookie and two humans—pilots, both of them,' the man continued.

Had this been at any other time, Anakin would have already lost his patience and killed the man, but for now his curiosity was piqued and he knew he was on the verge of discovering what he sought. 'What were their names?' he snapped as the man apologised.

'The wookie's name, I believe, was Chewbacca. The two men went by the names Han Solo and Luke Skywalker.'

Anakin felt his blood run cold and his heart stop as he caught the last name. Furrowing his brow beneath his mask, the Sith Lord struggled with the rush of memories this name evoked. It could not be possible, could it? 'Are you certain those were their names?' Vader continued in deadly calm tones.

'Yes, sir, I was there myself when the medals were being awarded. Apparently, it was Han Solo and Chewbacca who assisted in the princess's rescue. It was Luke Skywalker who single-handedly destroyed the Death Star,' the man concluded.

_Ani, do you like the name Luke? I thought it would be a perfect name for a boy myelf... _Anakin barely heard a word the man said as he recalled the memory of Padmé admitting the name she had chosen for their son. It seemed like another lifetime ago and yet he could still recall it as though it were yesterday. Suddenly, Vader began to think back on the young boy who cried out upon witnessing Obi-Wan's death by his hand. Looking back now, he could not deny the striking resemblance between the boy and himself when he was about that age. And then there was his powerful Force signature that was so different and yet so similar to how his once was. If he had any doubts before about his relation to the young boy, he certainly did not anymore.

'Milord? What are your orders, sir? Should I arrange the removal of the Skywalker boy as well as Solo and Chewbacca?'

Anakin's thoughts snapped to the present and for the first time in his life, the Sith Lord felt the rush of defence only a parent feels for their child. 'No, you will not. I will tend to this matter personally. If I learn that you have tried to take matters into your own hands, I will kill you with my own. Understood?' Anakin growled as the man gave him a look of confused concern. There was no further argument and soon the communications ended leaving an ecstatic Sith Lord staring at a blank screen in disbelief and joy.

'I have a son...' he breathed feeling almost giddy as he spoke the words to no one. 'By the Force, I'm a father,' he continued as a smile crept into his features. With this wondrous discovery and unexpected news, Anakin's thoughts were entirely distracted. Immediately, he thought of how he could make contact with his son of what he would say and how much he wanted Luke to meet Dormé. His thoughts continued to turn to such daydreams so that each one was more fantastic than the last.

Unfortunately, in his distraction Anakin failed to fully sense the danger that now surrounded his beloved. While his mind noticed it, the Sith Lord failed to take it seriously, for he knew he was prone to paranoia upon occasion. After years of nightmares that never became a reality, this caused the older, overly confident man to believe the warnings were nothing more than his fears playing tricks on him. But the feeling would not go away and, in fact, grew increasingly harder to ignore. Despite this, his mood remained light-hearted as he tried to reach Dormé to inform her of the wondrous news.

To his dismay, access to her usual channels were denied to him. Frowning, to himself the Sith Lord began to question the validity of his fears, though he promptly presumed that what he felt was nothing more than her unleashing hell on her prey. He smirked in pride at this before attempting once more to reach her. Once more, he found the comm. channels were denied. Growing concerned, he tried a highly secure channel that they used only when speaking to their contacts. It was a private link that very few were aware of and Anakin hoped Dormé would know it was he and answer it. Now the sense of danger surrounding his beloved had grown incredibly powerful, leaving Anakin in a state of utter fear and concern. Gone was the blissful daydreams of having a family with his beloved and ruling the empire together. Now his concern was for Dormé's safety.

Just as Dormé was about to begin her artful, killing strokes, the secured comm. channel warbled at her, distracting her from her work. This caused her to cut herself slightly askew from what she had intended. Angry that she had messed up and that she had been caught off guard by the comms, she looked over to the panel. She would kill whoever it was that caused her this mistake. Clutching her bleeding side with one hand, she tottered over to the holovid display, seeing the flashing light which indicated it was from the most secured channel. She pressed the button to display whoever it was that picked such a choice time to interrupt her.

Anakin had now worked himself into quite a state as it had taken some time—or so it felt—for Dormé to answer the comm.

She gasped when she saw it was her beloved. Praise Nisaba, she thought to herself. The blood seeped through her rich gown as she looked upon the form of her beloved. He was still alive! Tears once again invaded her sight as she gazed at him.

At the sight of her, the Sith Lord felt his fears immediately fade only to become confusion once more, as he felt the rush of emotions pouring from her. Her joy and relief was powerful and her reaction immediately reminded him once more of why he was here and the original reason he tried to contact her.

'My love!' she exclaimed. 'You're alive...you're alive...' It was certain fate had intervened on their behalf so that her king had escaped and she would not kill herself. Dormé wished desperately that her beloved was here in person. She wanted to touch him, to hold him, and for him to comfort her, assuring her that her fears had not happened. When he asked about her wound, she merely said that she was so thankful he had survived. She told him of all the reports she heard, that it was uncertain what happened, and that she could only now breathe again.

He smiled from beneath his mask as his expression softened. Anakin felt bad for causing Dormé to worry and was quick to reassure her that he was fine. About to explain to her how he had survived the Death Star's destruction and his discovery, Vader soon faltered. For from the corner of his eyes, Anakin noticed a dark stain forming on her gown. It was then that he registered the real reason he noticed the pain that riddled her Force signature. 'Dormé, you're wounded. What happened?' he asked in concern. 'Who did this to you? I will make sure they pay dearly,' he stated as fear crept into his thoughts. There stain was so large and so dark marking the fact the wound was deep or so he believed. 

She did not give him a straight answer about the injury because she was more concerned about reaching him.

'You need to get help to tend to your wound,' he continued as he cursed himself for not listening to his instincts. All the while, he prayed that his beloved was going to be okay, that she would make it. For without her it would not matter that Luke was his son or that together they could rule the empire. Without his queen, Anakin was nothing.

'Where are you now?' Dormé asked.

Anakin frowned at her words as his thoughts scattered. Though the joy of discovering his son still lingered in the back of his mind the greater part of him was more concerned about Dormé. He could feel the dull throb of pain in his own chest—a reminder of their bond—and knew this was no light matter. She was dodging the issue and this added to Anakin's concern. 'Dormé, nevermind about me, you need to get your wound looked at,' he said, cursing himself for not contacting her sooner. He wanted to ask her once again about what happened, but knew it was obviously something she did not want to talk about on the holocom.

'Are you on Coruscant?' she continued as though she wasn't thinking clearly. 'We've just passed over the remains of the Death Star near Yavin IV.' Her left hand was no longer strong enough to hold her sword and it clattered to the deck.

'I'm on Coruscant now,' he admitted before adding, 'but I will be departing right away to meet up with you.' His eyes widened in concern as he saw the blade slipping from her hand. In the back of his mind, Vader pieced together her words and slowly came to the conclusion he did not dare contemplate. Once more, he cursed himself for ignoring his instincts unaware that this would be only but the beginning of the rift that would form between them.

'Dormé, please listen to me, you need to have your wound healed. Do not bother about me, I'm fine. Its you that I'm worried about, your wound...' he said as he bit his lip beneath the mask as he struggled against his fears. 'Please promise me you will have it tended to,' he said in almost fierce tones. 'Promise me you'll be okay,' he breathed as his fears took grip of his thoughts.

'I killed everyone aboard, save the pilots,' she replied with a dark, but pained smile. There was no way to tend her wound until she was on Coruscant anyway.'Dormé, this isn't funny, you're going to die if you don't-' he faltered forcing himself not to let this thought reach its conclusion. Frowning deeply behind the mask the Sith Lord recalled how he could kill with just a look over the holocom. Perhaps—just maybe—he could help heal a little. He knew he was no healer in any sense of the word, but he had been able to tend to her wounds in the past. Of course, they were shallow and nothing as serious as this, but he had to try.

Dormé nodded to his words. 'I will be fine, now that I know you're safe.'

Vader's eyes widened from within the mask at her words as he registered the meaning behind her statement. _Oh, Force no!_ he thought in frantic fear as his eyes dropped to the growing stain on her gown. So much blood lost it was a miracle she was even standing.

'Dormé, this isn't funny, you're going to die if you don't-' he faltered forcing himself not to let this thought reach its conclusion. Frowning deeply behind the mask the Sith Lord recalled how he could kill with just a look over the holocom. Perhaps -just maybe- he could help heal a little. He knew he was no healer in any sense of the word, but he had been able to tend to her wounds in the past. Of course, they were shallow and nothing as serious as this, but he had to try.

She swayed a little as he said he was going to try to heal her. Blood now dripped from the bottom of her gown, blood that was her own. Dormé could have sworn she had not cut that deep, but she had been in a zone, preparing for death. She had not expected she would need medical attention.

'I'm going to try to heal a little of your wounds. I don't know if it will work, but even if I can stop the bleeding...I have to try,' he said in desperate tones that were twisted into a growl from the vocabulator. Struggling to clear his thoughts, Anakin tried to focus on the region of her wound, however, with the blood now covering much of the wound and the tear in the dress, it was hard. It was even harder because of the fact she was so far away and he was unable to channel the darkness through his fingers as he did in the past when healing her, nevermind the fact he was hardly trained in this field. Given his frantic state of mind, this made focusing much more difficult than ever before. Yet even so, he had to try; he would not forgive himself if he didn't.

Feeling light-headed, Dormé's knees buckled underneath her and soon her grip on the table slipped. She eased herself to the floor, telling herself she would not pass out. _Anakin is safe. He's alive. I have to fight this... Stay awake, stay awake, stay awake..._

Anakin could see Dormé was on the verge of collapsing and struggled desperately to heal her. But if his attempts were having any affect, it did not show. All sense of focus was lost on the Sith Lord as Dormé slid to the floor as panic set in. 'Hold on, Dormé, I'm coming...please, my love, don't leave me...I'll be right there...please hold on...' he whispered before de-activating the link and rushing out of the war room where he once was and to his shuttle. Departing for the nearest star destroyer, Vader promptly took over and cancelled the mission that it was meant to embark on. He would tend to his master later. For now, he had only one thing in mind—to get to Dormé.

Lying next to her bloodied sword, Dormé focused all of her energy on staying conscious. _He will be here soon,_ she assured herself. _He's alive, he's all right...just have to stay awake..._

His arrival to Dormé's ship was not nearly as fast as he would have liked, though Vader pushed the ship to its top speed and kept it in this state until her ship in sight. Upon entering the ship, Anakin swiftly made his way through the halls and the dead until he reach his destination. His mind was a frantic mess of fear, sorrow and guilt. If only he had not been so distracted by the news of his son! Frowning, he fought back his despair, clinging desperately onto the hope that his beloved would be all right, that she would make it. Approaching her quarters, he did not bother attempting to activate it. Instead, he used the Force to cause it to part before rushing inside, her name on his lips.

She did not know how long it had been, but she heard his breathing and footsteps in the hallway. Unlike everyone else in the universe, aside from the Emperor, Dormé's heart soared when she heard him. 'Anakin,' she murmured.

Upon seeing her lying so still in her own blood, the Sith Lord struggled to remain in control of his emotions. Moving swiftly to her side, he caught his murmured name and promptly moved to lift her up. _It's okay Dormé I'm here, everything is going to be alright. I have a medical staff with me. They're arriving on the ship as we speak. I'm taking you to the medlab. Just hold on,_ he said urgently into her mind as he tried to send soothing thoughts into her mind as well.

Had he not been so lost to his emotions and fears, Anakin would have ordered one of the medical teams from one of the destroyers that was closer to Dormé's ship to assist her. But in his state of panic, all he could think about was his own need to help her personally. This selfish mistake would come a price that would forever haunt the fallen Jedi to the end of his days.

The soothing thoughts he sent her did more harm than good because it eased her into sleep, thinking everything was going to be all right. Another mistake Vader made was attempting to carry her to the medical facility because the type of wound she had was only made worse by jostling, no matter how careful the Sith Lord was.

The longer it took for this wound to be treated, the less likely it would ever fully heal. Dormé was a professional swordswoman and even though she was distracted in her suicide attempt, the cut she made was still deadly. With Dormé in his arms, the Sith Lord proceeded to make his way to the medical labs on the ship only to run into the chief of the medical staff from the ship he had emerged from.

The elderly man was normally regarded, as a typical grandfather type figure was hardly amused or impressed to see the unconscious form of Lady Vader in her husband's arms. In fact, he was downright concerned and downright angry. 'What in blazes do you think you're doing? Could you not wait the minute it would have taken for my arrival?' he snapped causing Anakin's blood to boil. The last thing he wanted was to be given orders and by a subordinate no less.

'You think I'm just going to leave her on the floor in her quarters?' The towering form growled.

The doctor blatantly ignored him, ordering his staff, that was now approaching with a gurney, to properly depart with Dormé. The members of his staff were hesitant to approach the furious Sith Lord but the elderly doctor was adamant warning them they'd have worse things to tend to if Lady Vader were to die because of their inaction.

Vader, on the other hand, believed that their professional help was not needed and was about to place the petite woman onto the cot himself, but fortunately for Dormé, the staff intervened. Had it been under any other circumstance, Anakin would have killed them for it, but the situation was too desperate and so he refrained.

The old man swiftly assisted in Dormé's transport and was quick to tend to the blood loss during her transport. Upon her arrival to the medical lab, he swiftly began his work, only to find himself once more in the presence of a deeply concerned but ignorant Vader who would not depart. 'Lord Vader, I understand your concerns for your lady, but your presence isn't required here. In fact, I dare say it is almost detrimental. Now if you please—' he motioned to the door quickly before continuing his work as he proceeded to clean and tend to the wounds.

Anakin would not budge and frowned beneath his mask as he folded his arms. 'You are in no position to tell me what to do, Doctor,' he snapped in deadly tones.

The other members of the medical staff were thankfully far too focused on Dormé to let Vader's presence frighten them and thus continued their work. The head doctor, on the other hand, was comfortable enough to continue his duties and hold the conversation though it was obvious he did not want to.

'Darth Vader, this is hardly the time or the place to have such a discussion. Your lady is dying because of a self-inflicted blade wound. One that could have been easily tended to had it not been for the lack of swift medical action, nevermind your foolish attempts to play hero—'

Anakin snapped at the man's words and stepped forward as he forgot the fact that this man was in reality his last hope to save Dormé. 'How dare you speak to me in this way! I was only trying to save her!' Vader barked as the old man paused in mid action and whirled to face the enraged Sith Lord.

'Your duty is meant to take life. Mine was meant to save it. You stick to your duties and I will tend to mine,' the doctor replied in cool tones before turning his back on a stunned Anakin and continuing his work as though the discussion never occurred.

Now silenced and quite humbled, the fallen Jedi quietly left the operation room and waited with much impatience and fear for the surgeons to save his beloved. Matters were even more awkward upon their arrival to Coruscant. Though no one was foolish enough to say anything to his face, Vader could feel the Coruscanti Doctor's annoyance with him as well as the droids. Normally he would have killed them all for casting judgment over his actions but instead he refrained. All he wanted was to help, to save his beloved, however, Anakin was no healer and this was something the old doctor did not hesitate to remind him.

As the surgical droid worked alongside the doctor, mending the deepest parts of her wound, Dormé felt it and moaned, though still unconscious. Before she had a chance to resurface, she was given a painkiller that knocked her out until they had finished.

Anakin could feel her pain through their bond but knew better than to interfere this time. He could not say why but the doctor's words unsettled him more than he wanted to admit. Had he not been without his powers for that brief period of time, Anakin would have hardly been affected by the doctor's words. But something deep within had been awakened, albeit briefly, and now after years of silence, Anakin found himself growing a bit more sensitive to the truth.

Though the wait had only caused further harm, the injury was treated as best as they could manage until she was transported to the elite Imperial medical facility on Coruscant. The doctor and medical droids there were also quite perturbed with the Sith Lord for his 'attempts' to save his lady. Any basic medical training would tell you moving a profusely bleeding body was not a good idea, nevermind what else he attempted through the Force to heal her...

_The darkness always takes, never gives._ A soft voice reminded him causing the Sith Lord's thoughts to turn to briefly turn to confusion. The darkness was by far the stronger side of the Force, he knew this to be fact, yet in this moment there was a part of him buried deep within that could not help but question it. Because of this, Vader refrained from barging into the operation room where the remainder of Dormé's wounds were healed.

'I'm sorry, we've done all we can, but the damage has already been done. It's a miracle that your wife was even able to survive this wound, most would not. If I were you I'd count my blessings while I can, for Lady Dormé is living on borrowed time now.'

Anakin fell silent at the doctor's words. His mind struggling to wrap itself around the news given. 'Are you trying to tell me that she's still dying?' Vader snapped while struggling to control the rising panic.

'As I said before, it's a miracle she even survived this. Most patients wouldn't have lasted, certainly not with the complications—'

'Complications?' Anakin demanded more than asked interrupting the old doctor who frowned in reply.

'Her wound was quite deep, Lord Vader, and the damage it caused was severe. If that wasn't enough, her body had already begun to heal itself with unnatural speed. Which would have been impressive had the natural healing process not mended the wound improperly—thus worsening the damage,' the old man said with a tired sigh.

From behind the mask, Anakin closed his eyes knowing fully well the reasons for Dormé's _unnatural_ healing and feeling utterly shamed for it. 'I see,' he said finally while struggling against his despair. 'Is there truly nothing else that can be done to help her?' the Sith Lord asked unable to fully hide the desperation from his voice. The old doctor furrowed his brow as he studied the towering masked form carefully.

'I've done all I can. There is nothing left that modern technology can do for her now.'

Anakin fell silent once more, unaware of the metal ledge beneath his fingers that buckled and bent as he unconsciously crushed it. He could not believe that this was it, that there was nothing left to be done. It just was not possible. He could not let himself believe it was possible for such thoughts were just too painful to consider. But a single flicker of hope suddenly entered his mind and clinging to it, he spoke up once more. 'What about natural forms of healing?' he suggested suddenly.

The old doctor took this into consideration and gave a hint of a nod. 'I'm not a follower of such things but it is a valid possibility. Though I can't imagine who practices that method of healing anymore. Those who did, I believe, are now extinct, are they not?' he simply replied, before watching as the dark lord stormed out of the medlab without another word.

The irony was painful, one that left him with no one but himself to blame. The only ones who could have saved Dormé's life were the very ones who had long since fallen to his blade.

_The past haunts the present, which in turns paves the way to the future._

The memory of wisdom given years ago haunted the Sith Lord as he returned swiftly to their chambers. While he normally cursed his mask, as tears escaped and trickled down his cheek Anakin found himself grateful for the shield it provided. Dormé's life had become a race against time; one that Vader knew would be a losing battle.

Normally he would have remained in the medlab where Dormé lay healing and recovering from her wound, but being there to was far too painful. So instead, the Sith Lord found himself wandering the hallways despite his initial urge to return to their quarters. There were too many memories there as well, and wanting to clear his thoughts lest he succumb to the despair that had laid claim over his spirit Anakin had decided to refrain. He did not want to think about her -their years together, or the years that were now lost to them because of his foolish attempt to save her.

Yet in the end, the Sith Lord found himself back in their chambers alone and broken with no where left to run and no where left to hide. The entire destroyer held too many memories for Vader who soon realized he could not wander the corridors without being reminded of moments with his beloved. Even the stars outside bore too many memories of her for they used to spend hours watch them just talking. But returning to this place proved to be the most difficult of all as it reminded him of all his failings. For all the technology in the galaxy could not change the fact Dormé was slipping away from him. Or the fact those that could have saved her had long since become fodder for his blade.

The past truly had returned to haunt the present and now Dormé's future was rapidly drawing to a close. It was then that Anakin decided he would do everything in his power to find their son. Even if it was to be his last gift to his beloved queen, he would give her the family they had both so desperately longed for. Dormé deserved to know happiness until the end of her days. Little did Anakin realize that in his need to bring her joy, he would, in turn, only give her more heartache.

Begging the Force to spare his beloved's life, the fallen Jedi silently began to sob as though his heart were shattering under the weight of his sorrow. His greatest nightmare was rapidly becoming a reality, leaving Vader watching from the sidelines as all he loved paid the price for his bloodlust and greed.

Hours later after a bacta immersion, Dormé lay clothed in hospital garb, slowly returning to consciousness. She felt quite drowsy from the medication and hoped she had not dreamt that her beloved was still alive.

Pacing silently in the hallways outside of the rooms where Dormé was being taken care of, Vader tried to clear his thoughts of the nagging doubts. After much struggle, he managed to clear his mind and was able to wrap the dark side around him once more. It was only then that he registered that Dormé was regaining consciousness once more. This time, in a far more polite and humble fashion, he approached the room where Dormé now rested. Though they were hesitant to let Anakin see his beloved, ultimately it was the old doctor who chastised him for his foolishness who permitted his entrance.

Though the old man knew Vader could have easily killed him, he was also aware of the fact that the Sith Lord knew without him, Lady Vader would have surely died. Even so, the old man was not without a heart and understood what fear and desperation can do to a man's common sense, even if that man was a monster.

Entering quickly, Anakin approached the drowsy Dormé and felt almost light-headed with relief. Though her Force signature was distorted, he knew it was because of the medicine and did not focus on it too much. Approaching her side, he paused once more reminded of the old doctor's words. Hesitant to even touch her, Anakin swallowed before forcing his thoughts—that were once more plagued with the tiny but nagging doubts—to clear. Gingerly, he then reached out to take her hand before finding the nerve to speak. 'How are you feeling?' he asked softly though the vocabulator distorted his words to sound like a growl.

Dormé felt his familiar hand slipping into hers and though she was still drowsy, she squeezed it as she slowly opened her eyes. 'Are you really here?' she asked, knowing this must be real or else it would not hurt so much. To see that mask, the deep, low voice distorted through it, assured her Anakin was truly with her. He had not died and neither had she. Little did she know how shortened their time together would be because her wound had not been attended to quickly enough.

Anakin could feel Dormé's gentle squeezing of his hand and drew hope from it. He told himself that she was going to be okay, that she was going to make it. Little did he realize that because of his selfish actions Dormé's life was now on borrowed time.

As she opened her eyes, Vader's own softened from behind the mask. Her words resonated within him and he realized he was feeling much the same, as though it were too good to be true that his beloved had survived. Nodding weakly in reply, he tried to ignore the lump that found its way in his throat as he bit his lip. He could feel as well as see her pain and cursed himself for it. If only he would have contacted her sooner, if only he would have arrived here sooner—if only...

'I'm here my love,' he said softly as he moved to gently touch her cheek and then softly play with her hair with his free hand. 'You rest now. Everything is going to be all right,' he said softly as for the moment, the discovery of his son was the last thing on his mind. 


	16. Seeing Through the Mist

_This time, This place  
Misused, Mistakes  
Too long, Too late  
Who was I to make you wait? _

Once Dormé was released from the intensive medical care and back in their private chambers on Coruscant, she was feeling much better. Although she was feeling better, the damage had already been done. It was not only that she would bear a scar, but the internal damage would never fully heal. After a few days of taking things slowly, she was able to perform her duties as normal, even spar a little with her beloved. He seemed to be going too easy on her and though it frustrated her, she knew it was because he was concerned about her. Those few days seemed almost like how it had been before and Dormé was so thankful to be with him again. The time apart, even with the investigation she carried out, had been torturous. She admitted she never wanted to be away from him that long ever again because she had missed him so much.

Anakin took the news of Dormé's condition badly and though Dormé was recovering as best as one could hope given the situation, the Sith Lord was all too aware of her frailty. Though Dormé insisted she was healing properly, Vader was frightened of harming his Queen again, and as such, there were times when Dormé had to remind him she was no fragile ornament. But despite her frustrations, Anakin still struggled with his fears and had to constantly remind himself that Dormé was indeed all right. Even so, deep down he knew better and this would become one of the many things he would never forgive himself for. Despite this, Anakin was happy to have his beloved back in his arms again. Their days apart were hellish and Dormé was not the only one to admit to never wanting to be apart again. Even though they were together once more, Vader could not help but still feel as though they were still apart in some sort of way. With the recent return of his Force sensitivity, it was easy for Vader to lose himself in the heady rush of the darkness. It was because of this that he once more grew blind to his beloved's feelings and sensitivity.

On this particular evening, when word reached him pertaining to the possible location of Luke Skywalker, Anakin's thoughts were consumed with eager joy. With Dormé's injuries, Vader's priorities had shifted from the discovery of his son to her, but now that she was healed, or as healed as she could ever be, his thoughts soon returned to his latest obsession. He had yet to tell her about the news of Luke and was now more than eager to share the good news. Had he not been so blinded by the darkness that coursed through his veins, Vader would have been more than aware of the fact this was a delicate subject for Dormé. Despite his lack of concern over her inability to bear children, it was something Dormé still struggled with. His obsession to locate and reunite with the past would cause more damage than good. The division which was beginning to form in their relationship was about to become a great rift that would almost destroy their unity.

But this was hardly something that weighed on his mind as Anakin ended his discussion with his contact about Luke on the holo-vid. Quietly returning to the kitchen, he moved to pour Dormé and himself a glass of the toxic green drink they both enjoyed. The news was wondrous to say the least and if all went well he hoped to be able to cross young Skywalker's path in the next few days. Returning to the living rooms of their chambers, he moved to offer Dormé a fluted glass as he gave a grin. 'I have some wondrous news to share with you,' he began unaware just how devastating this news really would be for her.

Dormé had always enjoyed quiet evenings like this when the entire galaxy seemed to be at peace under their rule, or at least was not _bothering_ them like a precocious child. But as they reclined on a couch together, their time was interrupted by a personal call for Vader. Dormé hoped it was not something pressing so that it could be tended to in the morning and watched as her beloved left to take it. When Anakin returned, he seemed to be in joyful spirits and she gazed at him curiously, as he poured a drink for the both of them. Dormé was far from a patient woman and she wanted him to just tell her instead of keeping up the suspense. She took the glass from him, but did not drink, her eyes dancing in mischief. 'What is it?'

Sensing her curiosity, Anakin grinned mischievously, knowing Dormé was hardly a patient woman. As expected, she was soon asking him just what it was he had learnt as her amber eyes danced in mischief. Moving to touch her cheek Anakin gave her a proud smile. 'I've just discovered or rather I had discovered a short time ago the pilot responsible for the Death's Star's destruction,' Vader began as his expression softened and turn almost awed.

The first words out his mouth sent a thrill through Dormé as she leant into his touch. She would enjoy watching him obliterate the one responsible for the Death Star's destruction, or so she thought.

'It was none other than a boy named Luke -Luke Skywalker,' he continued in soft tones utterly ignorant and unaware of the damage he was about to cause by this statement. 'My son. I have a son Dormé,' He continued in a voice filled with awe and joy.

'A son?' _When was he with another woman?_ the dark thoughts began to whisper. 'How can this be?' she asked aloud. _He had a son with Padmé_... Dormé could not remember the last time she had thought about her former mistress and this revelation too stung at her heart. That joy in Anakin's eyes was because of _her_. He was so happy at the news and she could not take credit for it. She had so wanted to have children with him, a whole school or little ones to spoil and raise up to be the rulers of the Empire. But this honour was denied to her. Padmé was every bit the angel, the goddess, transcending even death to give another gift to her husband. It just was not fair.

Before she accidentally crushed her glass with her bare hands, she was thoughtful enough to set it on a nearby table. Luke. Luke Skywalker. It was a funny sounding name, at least to her own ears. She wondered where he had been all this time and why he was fighting alongside the Rebels. Perhaps this would be nothing more than a Rebel Alliance trick, trying to lure them into a corner. She could not help feeling suspicious and protective of her beloved.

_But is he truly yours to keep? Do you not share his heart with Padmé? The famous senator and former Nabooan queen would go down in the histories while you will be forgotten. If she were here now, would you not be cast aside in favour of the angel?'_ Dormé wanted to scream at the top of her lungs to get the dark voices to cease their menacing taunts.

Her question caused Anakin's smile to widen as he nodded. At her clarification, Vader shook his head as his eyes danced in obvious joy. 'I thought he had died along with Padmé, but I was wrong,' he furrowed his brow as he recalled Luke's reaction to Obi-Wans' death by his hand. The answer was clear enough and the thought caused his blood to boil.

And then he spoke _her_ name. It was a shame Dormé did not quite catch how easily Vader dismissed his first wife, how Padmé's named rolled off his tongue so casually as if she was merely an acquaintance not his first wife.

**'**Obi-Wan obviously stole and hid him from us,' the Sith Lord began as in his mind Luke was as much Dormé's son as he was his own. Padmé may have birthed the child but to Anakin, Dormé was the boy's mother. The Naboo queen was nothing more than a ghost of the past, an intangible memory that no longer served a purpose in his life. Unfortunately, Vader believed that his queen was already aware of this. For this reason, he did not offer the reassurance that Dormé desperately needed in that moment. The whispers of the dark side also blinded him to the pain his words were causing his wife and so he remained ignorant to it. 'He probably hoped to turn Luke against us, to make him into a pathetic Jedi like himself,' Vader concluded in disgust, before his expression and mood lightened once more.

As he spoke of Kenobi, neither did Dormé recognise how Anakin referred to the two of them being Luke's parents as though Padmé was not even in the picture. Unfortunately, the dark side was blinding her as it was blinding Vader.

'The message I just received pertained to the discovery of his current location. He's not too far from our location and if we move quickly, we should be able to reach him within the next couple of days,' he admitted before moving to slip his hands to her petite waist as he exclaimed in joy. 'Just think, Dormé, with Luke we'll be able to overthrow my master and rule the empire as a family!'

She took all of this news as best she could. She was still trying to wrap her head around it. What if she did not want Luke around? What then? Would Anakin leave her? And then he spoke of overthrowing Palpatine as he drew closer to her. Did this mean he wanted her to stay? She could not quite read what he meant. 'I know you said before that you didn't think you could rule, so who would control the Empire? Do you think the boy is capable of doing so?' Dormé did not understand what he meant. Certainly, he had not spoken of destroying Palpatine before. He was starting to worry her. The last thing she wanted was for him to do something stupid and be killed by the Emperor. She rubbed his shoulder with care as she studied him curiously.

Anakin furrowed his brow to Dormé's words as he gave her another light-hearted grin. Surely, she knew that they would rule as a family. That together, they would run the Empire as emperor and empress. While Anakin knew nothing of politics, Dormé was quite experienced in this arena, just as he had more experience in battle tactics than she did. As always, they balanced each other perfectly and together, they would train Luke to become the perfect emperor when the time came for him to rule. But Vader understood her fears—or believed that he did at the very least—and felt her concerns were valid, despite his confidence and hope. Wanting to reassure her that he had no intention of doing anything foolish, Anakin continued in reassuring tones, 'I wouldn't do anything without much careful planning first,' he said as he slipped his hand over hers before giving it a gentle squeeze.

'But I have faith that between Luke and me, the emperor won't stand a chance. We will overthrow him and then the Empire will be ours to rule,' he said eagerly as his thoughts raced with possibilities and daydreams. 'But for now, my main concern is ensuring that we are able to cross paths with Luke properly without complications. I don't want anything or anyone interfering with this wonderful opportunity,' he concluded in serious tones.

Vader kept say 'ours', but Dormé began to think he was really just talking about Luke, despite the fact he was holding her. He kept talking about Luke and the more he did, the less important she felt. Usually Anakin was so attentive to her and her needs. Selfish as she was, she could not help missing how she used to have his full attention. But despite her egocentric tendencies, she always cared more about her beloved than herself. It was for this reason that she encouraged him to find Luke. 'Then we mustn't delay,' she said, trying desperately to sound happy about this. She gave him a squeeze, wanting nothing more than for him to be happy, though it might break her heart. Dormé had no idea how it would make her feel to see him with Padmé and his son.

Anakin was foolishly unaware of the damage his words were causing his beloved. In his mind, Dormé was Luke's mother and the thought of ruling the empire as a family thrilled him to no end. He always wanted to give his beloved the galaxy and now with their son his believed his dreams were about to become a reality. Holding her close, the Sith Lord smiled at her words and reassuring squeeze before moving to kiss her lips. This truly was a happy moment for them both or so he foolishly believed. 'I'll begin the preparations as soon as possible,' he continued before adding in joy. 'I can't believe this is really happening. It almost seems too good to be real,' he said softly as he touched her cheek. 'We have a son...we're going to have a family just as we've always wanted.'

_You have a son. You do. Not I... You and Padmé... Why do you insist on tormenting me with this, with my inability, my failings to you as wife..._ No matter how close he held her, she did not feel it was close enough. It was as though he was falling away from her and she was powerless to stop it.

* * *

With the discovery of his son Vader began to throw himself almost obsessively into locating the young Padawan. Every spare moment he had was spent trying to seek out the boy with the fallen Jedi often working late into the night and rising at unnaturally early hours to continue his search. It seemed as though every step taken in the right direction was always followed by two steps of fruitless searching. Had he known better Vader would have sworn that Luke was leading him on this wild chase just to spite him. But with every failed attempt, every empty source the Sith Lord's obsession and determination grew.

Unfortunately, it also made him ever more blind to the damage it was causing his relationship with his beloved. However, the small part of his spirit that remained unscathed by the darkness was not so ignorant or blind. As such, the older Sith Lord began to find himself being plagued by strange dreams that reflected what he could not see with his own eyes. Had Vader been more aware, he would have recognised the imagery and emotions it invoked was not his own but his beloveds. But he was too lost to the recent return of the darkness and it was missed. Nevertheless, with each passing day the dreams—once a blur of emotions and mixed images—grew clearer, leaving Vader to awaken every morning with a heavy heart and loneliness the likes he had never felt before.

He tried to keep his nightmares to himself, for he was not certain what it represented or even how to fully explain what he was witnessing in them, but one thing he knew for certain was that the emotions were too powerful to ignore.

* * *

How many nights had passed with Dormé waking in the middle of the night because he was not there? How long had it been since was not growing cold without his arms around her? For so long, it seemed as though he were drifting from her, obsessed with finding what little he had left of his _angel_, Padmé. No matter how much she threw herself into the search, trying to accept it, the closer they came to finding Luke, the less worthy she felt. She could only hope that upon finding his son, he would not forget about her or cast her off.

Was this how their love was going to end? Was it just going to wither away did he now regret all those years they spent together? Had she always been his second choice?

Tonight was no different. Dormé returned to their quarters to change and go to bed alone. She had originally tried to stay up with Anakin, but her eyes grew weary and since she was of little help, she got into the habit of retiring without him. It was much harder to fall asleep without him, unless she was physically exhausted. For this reason, she began training harder, hoping it would aid in falling asleep easier.

Some mornings she would awake to find he had not gone to bed, but the worst was when she awoke to find she had missed him, that he had eventually gone to bed but awoke before her to continue his search. It was on those mornings that she would cry into his pillow, wanting to tell him how she felt about all of this, but desperately wanting him to be happy.

* * *

On this particular night, as Anakin silently returned to bed after having stayed up most of night going through his next attempts to reach Luke, he soon found himself lost in the dream once more.

Opening his eyes in the dream world, the Sith Lord found himself standing in a room he only recognised in his dreams. It was always the same elegant quarters that were nothing like his personal quarters. He knew it was on Coruscant somewhere, for when he looked outside the windows, he recognised the nearby buildings in the Senatorial District. But this was not what captured his attention.

Normally, Vader would always be watching Dormé playing with a little boy in this room. She always seemed very happy as did the child who cooed and laughed in reply. The sight always made him smile at first, but as he moved to approach Dormé and the child he presumed was Luke, Vader soon discovered they could not see him, or if they did, neither seemed to respond to his presence. He would try to speak their names, to interact with them, but they always ignored him. What made it worse was seeing a version of himself, that was not disfigured by the flames of Mustafar, joining them. They looked so happy together. It was the family Dormé and he had always wanted, but could never have. The sight of it always left him feeling utterly abandoned and alone.

Even though Vader knew that Dormé loved him for who he was—not the Hero With No Fear or the almighty Chosen One the Jedi had once believe—and did not care about his marred appearance or his broken body, as he watched this family that could have been his, he wondered if Dormé would have been happier if he had remained a Jedi. Vader could not help feeling jealous of his 'weaker' self who still followed the light. The thought always encouraged strange thoughts and emotions from him that always left him feeling utterly vulnerable and completely lonely.

On this night, instead of Dormé, it was Padmé he saw with Luke and his light side self. Confused, Vader could only watch in silence as his former wife played with the boy that Vader instinctively knew was Dormé's. The dream progressed as it normally did, only this time. something felt different. It took Vader a moment to realize that they could see him and yet they did not. It was as though they registered his presence, but did not pay it heed.

_The handmaiden's duty is to act as the invisible security. They watch and witness their mistress's every action and every word. A queen's duty is to be seen—a handmaiden's is to be invisible._

Vader's brow furrowed as he recalled Padmé's words once spoken years ago when he used to complain about her security, who hovered around like silent, but watchful clones. Though the emotions remained the same with this recollection, they slowly amplified. Closing his eyes, he tried to ignore the rush of sorrow and despair the images before him encouraged, but the dream would not offer him such solace. As they departed to another room, Vader chose to follow them and the sight that greeted his eyes provided the answer he was meant to see all along.

All three were now sleeping in a bed together—another image that would have warmed his heart had it not been for the fact it was Padmé sleeping beside him and the toddler instead of Dormé—yet even if it were, Vader was certain it would have only added to the pain. Nevertheless, it was not this that gave him the answer he needed; rather, it was a carving that decorated the back of the bed. Written in the native dialect of Uriashian, it read:

_For always, Anakin __♥__ Dormé._

His eyes snapped open as he drew in a sharp breath, his thoughts now racing forcing him to take a moment to register that he was back in his own bed and not in the dream realm. Though his conscience was ignorant to the truth, his soul knew the pain its other half was feeling and was desperate to make to make this clear. He understood and in silence, Anakin studied the one who completed him as guilt flooded his thoughts and heart.

Realizing now, much to his shame, that he was not even holding Dormé—for he had been too exhausted to even make himself comfortable—Vader soon slipped his arm around his queen's petite waist. His other hand was soon caressing her cheek and gently playing with her hair as he struggled against his tears of sorrow.

'I am so sorry Dormé I didn't know...I should have known. Force, how could I have been so callous? Please, my love, forgive me…I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to cause you such pain,' he said quietly as the silent tears collected in his eyes. 'I'm so terribly sorry. I was a fool. Please, Dormé, forgive me,' he begged in soft tones, cursing himself for being so ignorant and cruel.

When Vader roused her, and Dormé thought what he was saying was just a dream, that feeling his arms around her was something from a distant memory. She opened her eyes to see tears in his eyes and she was not sure what to make of all this. As she fully awoke and registered how late it was and that this was no dream, she studied him in silence, wanting to reach for him in turn, but hesitating.

He could feel her watchful eyes studying him and try as he might to hide his tears they escaped anyway as he bowed his head in shame. Anakin could sense her hesitancy and this only worsened his guilt. Suddenly he recalled all the nights she would retire early or worse the days when he would hardly see her at all. The silent tears soon became sobs as he realized the weight of his actions -of his foolish words.

'Oh Dormé...My love I'm so sorry...I didn't know—I was so caught up in finding our son I didn't even consider what I was doing—I have no excuse for my horrible behaviour. I never wanted to hurt you, to cause you such pain. I just wanted us to be a family,' he admitted before continuing as he looked up to study her intently. Anakin felt utterly ashamed of himself and of his callous ignorance. He could not understand that it was the dark side that had blinded Dormé's feelings from him. But even if he did, the Sith Lord would have found no comfort in it. Even the thought of causing his beloved sorrow was far too painful to consider and yet he had done it without even a second thought. The thought brought more tears to his eyes as he begged Dormé's forgiveness.

Dormé was shocked at the sight of his tears and his sudden revelation about how she felt. How did he know? Why had it taken him so long to figure this out? But it was his sobs that tore at her heart. She never wanted to be the cause of _his_ pain.

'Padmé may have birthed Luke, but to me you will always be his mother,' he said in sincere tones. 'That is why I so desperately wanted to be united with him. I want him to know us—his parents,' he continued softly as he gently touched her cheek. 'I never meant for you to feel otherwise, and yet I've given you no reason to feel any differently,' he said in sorrowful tones.

'Do you mean that?' she asked, tears coming to her own eyes as she reached for him. 'You really think of Luke as _ours_, not what's left of--of _her_? Oh Anakin...' Dormé could not help giving way to her tears as she drew closer to him. One of Dormé's pet peeves was having doubts and fears, especially when they were about her beloved. Though compared to other things she had experienced in her life, this was far from terrible, yet it was a suffering of another kind. Silent as all previous struggles had been, this ached the worst. She only wanted him to be happy and had gotten to the point that she had convinced herself to give up any of her own personal happiness for him. She had not ever been uncomfortable with such sacrifices before she met him, but after knowing how it was to live with such attentiveness and caring and love... For it to be taken from her was painful, but somehow, he knew now. She did not have to tell him.

Now aware of his ignorance and horrid behaviour, Anakin tried to explain himself though he knew there was no excuse for his actions. At her fervent reply, he nodded as he struggled against his sorrow and shame. 'My dearest Dormé, you are and always will be Luke's mother to me. I never once thought of you as anything less,' he whispered in sincere tones as her tears began to match his own, feeling her reach out for him, which in turn caused him to tighten his embrace as though fearing if he let her go, Dormé would slip away.

'I thought you—I thought I—' she gasped out between sobs. 'Tell me you still love me, Anakin...' She pleaded with her eyes, fearing the worst, yet praying this was real, that he did want the three of them to be the family they had so longed for.

As her tears turned to sobs and her words expressed the pain of her heart, Anakin felt his own shatter. If only he had known—if only he could have understood the pain of his actions sooner! If only he could have prevented it in the first place... As he pressed his forehead to hers, their tears mingled as he spoke softly with all the sincerity and love he could give. 'My dearest Dormé, I love you so much. You are my queen, my goddess; you complete me in ways that I could never hope to explain—you always have and always will. You are the other half of my soul, the strength in the face of my weakness, the parts of me I can never be without,' he said in fervent tones as he touched her thoughts, permitting her to feel the weight of his words. He wanted her to know how sincere he was and just how sorry he was for ever causing her pain.

His words resonated deeply within her soul, though she was unaware that he was accenting them via the Force. Deep down, she knew. She had always known, but the darkness had filled her with lies and doubts. His actions as of later, however, had not suggested otherwise.

This would in time become one of many things that Anakin would never forgive himself for when it came to Dormé. Her happiness was his own and while he was normally a selfish man. By nature, Vader had come to understand—and appreciate—the power of give and take in a relationship. However, with loss and gain of his Force sensitivity Vader easily fell prey to his selfish ways and regressed into habits of old. The end result was disastrous and the Sith Lord now aware of his crimes was utterly ashamed of himself.

The last this she wanted was for him to be sad on her account. And though she felt unworthy of his love, for she too was far from perfect, it seemed as though her sadness had rubbed off on him. They truly were connected in ways they would never fully understand. Though he was apologising, she felt she ought to apologise for not saying something sooner.

Her sorrow intermingled with his own leaving Anakin wondering where his ended and hers began. For as long as he could remember, it had always been like this, the silent connection that could never be explained and yet had always been an integral part of their relationship. But in this moment, it served to add to his shame for he had no one else to blame for his ignorance and inconsideration but himself. It was yet another reminder to the fallen Jedi of just how unworthy he truly was to have this woman's love. Tightening his embrace, Vader closed his eyes as he spoke his apologizes while professing his love for her. 'I love you more than words could ever say or ever fully explain,' he said softly as he held her tightly, while running his fingers through her dark hair.

Dormé sniffed, trying to regain composure as she moved to kiss away his tears. It felt so good to be back in his arms once more.

Feeling her lips against his skin—kissing away his tears—Anakin began to do half circles on her back while letting his fingers run through her dark hair. For the dark lord there was nothing more important in the universe than the need to mend the rift that had formed between them. As she kissed him, Anakin silently returned it feeling as though this moment was sacred. They had come so far and been through so much, yet despite this, he had come so close, too close, to losing his beloved queen. It was a mistake he swore to himself that he would never make again, but little did he realise it was too late.

She felt as though she could never be close enough or held possessively enough to make up for those nights they had missed. As much as Anakin was hers, so too was Luke. Luke was their son. They would be a family together. Everything they had wanted would come true. 'We will save Luke from the clutches of the Rebels. He'll come to see how much we love and care for him so much. We'll make it up to him, all those years with Kenobi poisoning his mind against us.'

Anakin studied her with silent intensity as she spoke. Though her words deeply moved him, it was her joy that truly touched Anakin. 'We will be reunited with our son,' Vader reassured before adding in gentle and sincere tones as he lightly touched her cheek.

Studying him with loving eyes, she outlined his scarred cheek, saying, 'He looks so much like you did when I first met you.' Dormé smile soon grew impish as she added, 'As though he hadn't seen a hairbrush in his life.'

Anakin bowed his head slightly as he felt his cheeks warm at her words before chuckling as she teased him about his hair. 'I never really had time for such things—or so I believed. It would seem Luke had picked up the habit as well,' he remarked with lopsided grin before he grew more serious.

'I want you to know that no matter what happens, or even if this isn't possible, you will always be the one who matters the most to me. You are and always will be the one who completes me—the other half of my soul. Nothing can or ever will change what you mean to me, my beloved Dormé.' Time was no longer on their side and though this moment was hardly sorrowful anymore, it would forever remain bittersweet for the fallen Jedi. As would every happy moment shared in the coming days with his beloved would become. But not wishing to dwelling on time wasted Anakin tried his fullest to enjoy what little time was granted to him now. He had after all wasted too much already in his obsession to unite Luke with them.

His gentle, sincere tones caused her tears to resurface, but this time out of joy. This was how it should always be and Dormé needed to hear this more than she thought she did. As much as she wanted them to be a family, she too could not imagine her life without Anakin. It was inconceivable and for him to reaffirm this ultimate truth, she couldn't help shedding a few last tears as she held him close, looking deep into those everlasting blue eyes.

Though Anakin knew that Dormé's tears were of joy over sorrow he could not help but feel a little pained to see them. All he wanted was to make her happy but instead he had brought her such pain instead. With fingers gently brushing away the tears from her cheeks, Vader studied his queen with the same fervency she gave him. In her amber eyes rested all the secrets and the mysteries only their souls were aware. Though they were not nearly as close as they were when he had lost his Force sensitivity in this moment, Anakin was just too grateful for what they did have to let it bother him. Not wanting this moment to ever end, the Sith Lord held her close and continued to quietly play with her hair. Moving to gently kiss her again, he opened his thoughts so that Dormé could feel his emotions for her in a far more personal manner, for words could only go so far and some things were just better explained without them.


	17. The Chasm

_So I swallowed the shame and I waited  
I buried the blame and I waited  
Choked back years of memories...  
I pushed down the pain and I waited  
Trying to forget..._

Dormé was so pleased when Princess Leia's ship was heading towards Bespin. She began plotting with her beloved about ways in which they would be able to use Luke's little Rebel friends to lure him back to them. Their ultimate goal was to bring Luke home, to be part of their family, with Luke inheriting _their_ Empire.

It was Dormé's idea to personally see to the torture of the princess, but more importantly the rogue Correlian scum, Solo. He and his blasted ship were more trouble than anything and Dormé wanted to see to his torture personally. She enjoyed watching on as his pathetic shouts fell on deaf ears.

But just as the torture got underway, Vader told her he sensed Luke would be arriving soon. She told him her heart went with him, wishing him luck in the retrieval and saving of their son. When the torture was complete, she ordered the stormtroopers to take Solo to his cell before returning to the Executor to await their son's arrival.

* * *

After what felt like an eternity of tracking, careful planning and one failed attempt after another the moment had finally come. Anakin was both nervous and excited as he watched their son emerging into the carbonite chambers. With Dormé's blessings and support, the Sith Lord was more than confident their family would be reunited and soon. He did not know what to expect from the Padawan, but at his quick draw of the lightsaber, Anakin felt his heart sink. While he was eager to see the boy's skills, Vader would rather it were in a spar, not actual combat. It was a strange thought for a man who was more comfortable negotiating through battle, than through words. He soon learnt that Luke was much the same.

Slowly, reluctantly, he drew his own blade and let his mind shift to the battle. It would prove to be another mistake made and another regret he would have to bear. The fight, however, began sluggishly, for the Sith Lord was hesitant to do battle with their son and was more interested in reasoning with him. Nevertheless, as loathed as he was to admit it, Vader could not deny that Obi-Wan had trained their son well. The though encouraged a rush of pride. Luke would make a fine Sith lord. It also encouraged a surge of jealousy for their son was not meant to be raised or trained by his former Master, rather his family. This train of thought only encouraged the dark side and Vader soon fell prey to his jealousy. As such, Luke's every attack was like salt cast onto an old wound that never quite healed, as though Obi-Wan himself were laughing at Anakin and Dormé's dream to have a family or mocking their longing to be united with their son.

_He raised Luke, _the darkness whispered into Vader's thoughts as they continued to battle. _It should have been us. _

Lightsabers continued to hiss and spark as the fight continued leaving the fallen Jedi struggling to frighten and distract Luke rather than hurt him.

_He taught Luke to follow the Force, to embrace the ways of the Jedi, _the dark mistress continued to whisper as Anakin frowned beneath his mask.

_I am the boy's father. It is my right to teach my son what he should know–it is _her _right as well. _Fighting against his tormented thoughts, Vader tried to tell himself that it was not Luke's fault. Luke was as much a victim in all of this as Dormé and he was. Even so, it was difficult to ignore the fact Luke's actions reflected Obi-Wan's influence on him.

Luke's Force signature was so bright and vibrant as well and this too did not help, for it left him feeling odd and out of sorts, a distraction that, in reality, was a deeply buried conscience that was slowly beginning to stir. It would be a distraction that would permit Luke to gain the upper hand briefly, a distraction that also made him easy prey to his fears and doubts and ultimately the darkness he served.

Throughout the battle, Anakin tried to tell himself that this was nothing more than a spar, that in the end, he would succeed in calming Luke and informing him that he was no threat. However, with the dark side whispering poison into his thoughts, his delusions soon soured, leaving the _spar_ to quickly become something more than just a friendly fight. Their son's skills were impressive to say the least and it left the Sith lord feeling quite proud, but at the same time, the judgment he felt from Luke was also too powerful to ignore. While it was clear that the Sith Lord had the upper hand, Vader continued to feel defeated. It was as though Luke were stronger and greater than he. Had Anakin been more in tune with himself, he would have recognized that it was not defeat he felt, rather he felt shamed.

Instead of ignoring these emotions, Vader chose to channel them into anger in the hopes of ending the battle quickly so they could do what he wanted from the start: talk. However, by fully channelling the dark side, Anakin soon became lost to it. No longer did he care that he was battling their son or that it was not his intention to harm the boy. All he wanted was feel the heady rush of victory, to have the strange awkward nagging buried deep within him silenced, to once more prove to Obi-Wan why the darkness was stronger and why his former mentor would never mock him again.

The end result was disastrous and only at the sound of Luke's scream of pain did Vader finally snap out of his blackened thoughts and properly register that he had cut off their own son's hand. This time, the shame could not be mistaken. Nothing could have prepared him for what happened afterwards. Though he felt shamed by his actions, Anakin still hoped that there could be some way to convince the boy that it was not his intention to harm him. After all, if he had wanted Luke dead, the Padawan would have suffered his fate long ago. Feeling terrible now and wanting to make amends, Vader spoke the truth he had longed to tell the boy ever since his discovery. Anakin felt both proud and humbled as he admitted to Luke that he was the boy's father, how he had wanted to do this for so long and now they could be a family as they had always dreamed. Unfortunately for the Sith Lord and his lady, their son didn't feel the same.

For as long as he lived, Vader would never forget the rush of repulsion and horror that poured off Luke at his admittance to being his father. Nor would he ever forget the overwhelming sense of rejection and hurt that came with it. It was too late now to back down and so he desperately tried to speak of the dreams Dormé and he had spent hours discussing. Luke's blatant denial was hard to accept, but understandable for Obi-Wan had clearly poisoned the boy's mind. The fact he chose to die rather than be reunited with his family was not.

* * *

While Vader was confronting Luke, Dormé spent her time preparing a delicious meal for the three of them, having been filled with false hopes that Luke would easily come with Anakin once Luke knew his father. She had not taken into account just how poisoned his mind was with Kenobi's false Jedi sentiments. She knew how nervous her husband had been about this meeting, but she was confident and relayed her confidence to him before he set off to accomplish this goal. She had no idea just how awful this attempt would go. When she received word Vader had returned, she promptly left her cooking to meet him on the bridge.

* * *

As Vader stared out the windows of the Executor—watching as their son once more disappeared out of their life—he couldn't deny the despair and rejection he felt. Even as Luke tried to escape from them, Anakin tried once more to reason with the boy—this time through the Force. Though the effect was painful for him the fallen Jedi had to try at least one last time, anything to reach their son even if it was only to apologize, to admit that he never meant to hurt him. But the boy was trained and sifting through the mind blocks to touch his thoughts was a struggle. This would not have been the case had Vader's own mind had not been so poisoned and blinded by the darkness.

All he wanted was for Luke to understand the truth, to know that he did have a family who loved him more than Obi-Wan ever did or ever would. That they only wanted to give him the life he always wanted, to aid him in fulfilling his destiny as Emperor and as a Sith Lord. But even this simple attempt was met with blatant disgust and horror, leaving Vader to finally give up as the physical pain of touching such a powerful light Force signature and the obvious rejection had taken its toll. Watching as the ship disappeared out of sight, the Sith Lord felt his heart sink as inwardly he sighed. Glancing away, he tried to clear his thoughts before looking back again as though to remind himself that Luke was really gone. This was hardly how he had imagined things to turn out and as his thoughts returned to Dormé the sorrow immediately grew worse. He did not want to return to her without their son but knew he had no one to blame for that but himself.

In the end, he silently departed as his thoughts were far too distracted to even register the fact his officers had failed to have the hyperdrive properly shut down. In reality, the only failure he truly registered was his own. Stepping off the bridge and into the main corridors, Anakin almost missed his beloved rushing towards him and only snapped out of his thoughts upon hearing her speak.

Just as she rounded the corner, she nearly ran into him. 'My love?' she asked, though it was quite clear, from the looks on the officers' faces that something was not right.

Furrowing his brow deeply he did not say a word; he did not need to, for Vader knew his beloved would understand. Instead, he silently moved to take her hand for in this moment he found himself in need of her support more than ever before, despite the fact Anakin knew he had failed her.

When Vader took her hand, she squeezed his, her free hand stroking his arm as they retreated back to their chambers. Once inside, she helped him remove the mask before swiftly returning to her cooking and turning it on the lowest setting for it would burn if she did not, though there would only be the two of them tonight.

Her presence was like a soothing balm to his struggling thoughts and wounded spirit and her gesture was appreciated far more than he could express. Watching in silence as she briefly returned to her cooking, Anakin furrowed his brow feeling worse upon realizing she had gone to such trouble for nothing.

Returning to her beloved's side, she promptly drew him into a tight embrace. Though she did not know the details yet, she wanted to be there for him and. She could tell from his mannerisms and the look in his eyes just how profoundly this confrontation affected him. She felt a pang in her own heart because of this. This was one of those times when words were unnecessary.

Returning her embrace readily, Anakin closed his eyes as he breathed in deeply. He could feel her compassion through the Force and it was humbling to say the least. Letting his fingers run over her hair, he tightened his embrace a little further as he spoke in hushed tones. 'I'm sorry I failed you, my love,' he whispered softly. 'If only I had done it all differently, if only...'

'It's all right,' Dormé murmured in response. She stroked his back, holding him close. 'You did everything you could...'

Vader shook his head at Dormé's words, sighing deeply. As much as he longed to believe her gentle words, to forget about it all, in her comforting embrace, he knew he could not. He had done nothing to earn such compassion. 'No, I ruined everything. You don't understand, Dormé, I could have convinced him and I would have if only I hadn't been so foolish,' he admitted.

Luke's rejection had obviously hit her beloved very hard and she wanted nothing more than to comfort and assure him, 'He'll come around eventually. He has to,' for she also believed it was Luke's destiny.

'I never wanted to fight him, I only wanted to talk, to reason with Luke to show him we were no threat,' he began slowly. 'He saw me as a danger because he didn't know and in the end I gave in, telling myself this was nothing more than a spar. The more we fought, the harder it was to convince myself this was nothing more than a test of skills. I was careful, so careful, not to cause harm, just to let him show me what he had learnt, but in the end, it was too much. I don't know why, but I felt so at odds about it all. I'm not sure I can properly explain it, but it were as though I was battling Obi-Wan again, but through Luke. It was as though he were mocking me, reminding me that it _he_, not we, raised our son…that Luke is who he is because of _him_, not because of us and our love for him.' He released a shaky sigh, closing his eyes once more. 'I don't know why I felt that way…why I felt so defeated, so—' He did not know how to fully explain the thoughts that had yet to properly reveal themselves.

Dormé touched his scarred cheek as he admitted to having fought him in a spar. Tears welled in her eyes as he spoke of Kenobi's detrimental influence on their son, just as it angered her as well. His sigh resonated through her and made her feel awful about the whole thing. She wished she could have done something to help...

Vader normally would have leant into Dormé's touch but shame kept him from doing so as did the sight of her unshed tears. Would she still feel so saddened for him if she knew? Anakin would not blame her when she did not. He continued in shamed tones, 'Because of it, I foolishly allowed my anger to take control and as a result, not only was I not able to reason with him, but I had unintentionally hurt him as well,' he concluded softly, drawing away from her arms. He no longer felt worthy of holding her, just as he, in those moments, no longer felt worthy of being able to call Luke his son.

Her arms dropped to her sides before he moved away. 'What do you mean _hurt_ him?' she asked, concerned for Luke's safety. Why did they have to fight?! Why couldn't he just reason with him?!

'I didn't mean to, Dormé. It was never my intention...It just happened,' he began in sorrowful tones. 'All I wanted was to end the battle, to talk to him as was my intention right from the start. But Luke is too much like me that way, even so I wish I just stopped him from the beginning,' he admitted knowing fully well he was dodging the question asked of him. Knowing this would not get him anywhere, Anakin sighed wearily, closing his eyes again. At any other time, he would have appreciated the irony of how his wife could make him feel as though he were but a Padawan in the presence of the Council. Right now, it made him want to be anywhere but here. 'I removed his hand,' he concluded softly.

'You what?!' Dormé exclaimed, completely aghast. 'Anakin—what in the name of the gods possessed you to do such a thing?!' She began pacing as if she was looking for something to throw at him. Dormé could not believe this. 'How the _urugal_ was that supposed to make him want him to come home to his family?!'

Anakin's eyes snapped open at Dormé's justified reaction. Glancing away, he tried to ignore the rush of shame and the ways his cheeks felt as though they were burning with the fires of Mustafar. 'I didn't mean to! It was never my intention surely you know I'd never purposely hurt our son!' he argued knowing how fruitless it was but unable to help himself.

Watching her pacing left Vader feeling unsettled and once more out of sorts, similar to how he felt when in Luke's presence, but not nearly as powerful. Furrowing his brow, he struggled against his own rage at his own actions. 'You don't think I wouldn't go back and do it all again if I could?' he snapped as he moved to turn away. He wanted to meditate, to train anything to clear his head of the shame and sorrow that remained there. 'I tried to reason with him, but it was too late,' he admitted softly.

'I thought he would have had no choice but to return with me. But instead he threw himself off the ledging of the Mine's filtering system. He survived I can assure you of that, I tried to retrieve him, but his _friends_ got to him before I could and departed. I had their hyperdrive disabled so they couldn't get far but they managed to fix it and escape nonetheless. I even tried to speak to him through the Force,' he added, 'to reason with him even then. He just kept demanding to know why 'Ben' never told him about me. I don't know I'm guessing that was Obi-Wan's code name,' Anakin added before concluding in shamed but frustrated tones. 'I know I ruined things. Believe me, I know and I tried my best to mend them...But I can't go back and undo the damage done. I wish I could. Believe me, Dormé if I could, I'd do it all over again without a second thought,' he said sadly.

'So forcing him back to the _Executor_ without any limbs would have really persuaded him that we love him?!' she demanded. 'Threw himself off—For the love of Nisaba—Anakin, you—UGH!!' She could not even speak because she was so incredibly furious with him. Dormé had no sympathy at this point because she was too angry with Vader. Though she knew it would not be the last chance they had, she could only imagine what sort of affect this had on their son. Unable to find anything substantial to throw at him, Dormé retreated to the kitchen area in silence.

'When did I ever say I removed all of his limbs!?' he growled feeling defensive and cornered, yet knowing her anger was justified. 'I never wanted any of this to happen! He wanted to do battle, and I did try to avoid it to reason with him—Oh Force, why am I even bothering?' he snapped as he watched her depart to the kitchen before storming off to their meditation room himself.

She completed the task of finishing what was supposed to be a welcome meal for Luke without speaking to Anakin. She even fixed and set out a plate, perfectly adorned, for Vader though she herself was in no mood to eat. Once that was concluded, she went to the fresher to cry. It was the dark side coursing through him that caused him to be unable to think straight or let go. She knew this. She knew this despite the _control_ he learnt over the years, yet she would not allow herself to dwell on it. This could not be their last chance at having a family. She would be damned if she let him ruin everything they had wanted and strived for, for so long.

Only when he was alone did Anakin succumb to his despair. In silence, he paced cursing himself for his foolishness while struggling to resist the urge to return to Dormé. He could feel her anger, but he could also feel her sorrow and it was this that tore at him more than anything else did. He struggled to justify his actions to himself to try to explain away how things had gotten so out of control. But the harder he tried, the more difficult it became to explain it away until in the end Vader was forced to face the fact that once more he had no one left to blame but himself. It seemed to him the more he tried to repair the damage done with Dormé, the worse he seemed to make things.

Dormé tensed and clutched the counter in the fresher as she succumbed to her tears. She was overcome with despair, though she did not know specifically why. Her anger long since dissipated, she was left with sorrow over what her husband had thrown away by giving in to hate. He blamed Kenobi, but that man had long since died. Despite the influence he had over Luke, she knew her son was capable of thinking for himself. If presented with all the information, he would make a correct decision and be part of their family. He would want to willingly be part of their family. Anakin could have presented this to Luke in a better way, despite the boy's first inclination to attack. Wasn't that to be expected?

Closing his eyes, the Sith lord attempted to clear his thoughts, to enter a state of meditation to figure out what to do next. But his mind was scattered and divided, torn by his guilt, sorrow, and shame, leaving him to fight back tears of frustration and hopelessness. Dormé's time was running out, he knew that, and even so, he could not help ruining their last moments together and his wish to reunite her with their son. This thought did little but cause him to weep in sorrow and curse the Force for making her suffer when it was clear to him that he deserved punishment. If only he could understand that death too can be a gift in disguise.

Letting the water fall over her, she closed her eyes, trying to get her thoughts clear and finding such bliss to be an impossibility. She cursed herself for not being there, though she knew Vader wanted to confront him alone. She did not know that she was truthfully mourning the breach that had formed between Anakin and her since the return of his powers.

After spending much of the evening in the meditation room and later the training hall, Vader returned to the living quarters to find his meal now cold waiting for him. He hardly had an appetite to say the least, but the gesture did not go unnoticed. This too encouraged his guilt and shame. Furrowing his brow, he then quietly went to find Dormé to beg her forgiveness, and Force willing, once more attempt to repair the damage that felt so irreparable at this point. Her despair was like silent knives to his heart with his guilt and shame being the salt poured over the newly created wounds. As Vader approached the fresher door, he paused, hesitant to speak to her, to face her knowing the pain that once more he had caused her. After all this time of planning, plotting of dreaming, his final gift to her…

With palm pressed against the door, Vader leant into it so that his bowed forehead was also touching the cool metal. It was a physical reminder of their spiritual division that now hung heavy over his head and in his heart.

_Dormé...may I come in?_ he sadly whispered into her thoughts, knowing if he spoke out loud, she would not hear him over the rush of water. Though it would be easy for him to enter, Anakin did not dare without her permission. It was a silent, unspoken respect that he had always adhered to when things between them were less-than-peaceful.

Though Anakin had whispered into her thoughts, it took Dormé a moment before she responded. She did not have to say anything because he would _feel_ it, that she was granted him access. She did not want him to see her crying and hoped the water masked it, despite how obvious it would be anyway.

Through her sorrow, Anakin could sense her acceptance and shyly he entered after a brief pause. The water remained running and in the back of his mind, Vader was reminded of how he always associated her with the rain.

She did not move from where she stood under the warm water, trying to console herself but finding it quite difficult. She hated feeling like this, even more so, feeling she ought to have done things differently. Regrets were things Lady Vader did not have…_should not_ have.

He wanted nothing more than to console her, but the shame was great, as was the awareness that he was once more the cause of her pain. Quietly approaching the shower, he stepped inside, not caring or even noticing that he was getting quite wet. Silently, he moved to slip his arms around her as he bowed his head. 'I am so sorry...' he murmured, 'for everything... All I want is your happiness and yet, I've caused you nothing more than pain.'

Feeling his gloved hands slipping around her, his soft words, she turned to face him, despite her desire to hide her tears. He still wore his armour, the very same armour he wore in his confrontation with their son. Her fingers danced over the edges. She knew personally how long it had taken him to get used to the uncomfortable and heavy armour, how long he had trained to be able to function as a warrior with it impeding his very steps. Why was it that now she felt it was impeding their ability to communicate properly? 'You ought to get this armour off, Anakin. It wouldn't do to ruin it because of this stupid fight.'

As she turned to face him, the Sith lord immediately tightened his embrace while gently moving place a hand to her cheek. Her sorrow tore at him and added to his shame but it also made him more determined not to fail again. But the darkness was a jealous mistress and because of it, Anakin remained unaware of the distance that Dormé could sense had come between them. At her words, Vader felt his pale cheeks warm as he gave her a sheepish look. As always Dormé knew just how to lighten the mood and ease his sorrow. He only wished he knew how to do the same for her.

She meant what she said. It was a stupid fight. After all, how many times had they argued about things that were out of their control or things that were in the past and could not be changed? How fruitless was it? She knew he had only had the best intentions in mind. She knew how much it meant to him to have Luke home. Yelling at him for a missing limb or badly handled situation held no purpose. Ultimately, being with her beloved was what made her happy. Seeing him at peace and joyful were things that turned her world upside down. To further encourage negativity would only make them both miserable. And at the same time, she wanted to experience that rush she used to receive when they were both immersed in the aftermath of bloodlust and revenge. She thought of perhaps finding a victim to torture, as she had with Solo, would help them forget about this disappointing failure with Luke...

Nodding slightly in reply, he gave her a shy smile as he caressed her cheek. 'It's all right; it can wait,' he began. 'I truly never meant for this to all fall apart, and I am going to do everything I can to ensure we find our son again.

Certainly, his shy smile warmed her heart, but at the same time, it was still hard to forget about everything that had just happened, that she wouldn't see their son completely whole or untouched by the darkness. Though she was not consciously aware of this fact, it would be something that she would later regret and wish she could apologise for though it had not been her fault. 'I know, my love,' she replied sadly, touching his hand that hovered on her cheek. 

Vader closed his eyes at her words and furrowed his brow as he nodded slightly. He could not believe just how badly things had gone and wished now that he would have had Dormé with him. Though deep down he knew it would not be possible, especially given Luke's reaction to him, at least Dormé would have been able to keep his thoughts in order. At least he would have been less likely to have lost himself in the moment…to the darkness that consumed his thoughts.

She sighed. 'I just wish things could have been done differently... I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have attacked you about it like that.' She bowed her head momentarily before looking back up at him.

'Who can blame you for being angry with me? You have every right.'

'I wish I could have been there with you,' she replied. Dormé believed that was one of the main reasons she was so disappointed: that she had not been able to see Luke, and that she could not have been there to bring Anakin back to his senses.

'After all I've done, I know I'm the last person he'll want to speak to, but I know he'll be more than happy to be reunited with his mother,' he concluded in sincere tones as he gave her a gentle smile. He knew how much Dormé wanted to meet Luke and was positive that their son would not refuse her, for Luke could not have asked for a more loving mother if he tried. Where Anakin failed, he knew without question, Dormé would not.

She nodded, smiling slightly. 'I hope so...' Her voice was far weaker than she had intended as though still caught up in mature emotions that she still did not fully understand, nor would she until her dying breath.

Dormé's reply was weak and in that simple statement, carried all of Anakin's fears and doubts, though he did his best to hide it. Though Dormé was in his arms and her cheek resting in his hands, Vader felt as though they were a million light-years away. It was as though there was a chasm forming between them, one that he unwittingly had created and one that he had no idea how to mend. This too was a truth that would not fully reveal itself until the last moments of his life. For now, he sought to mend the distance in anyway he knew how to. So silently, Anakin used the force to shut off the water, before grabbing a towel to gently dry her off.

Shutting off the water and enveloping her in a warm towel was, on the surface, a simple gesture, but on a deeper level, it marked just how they balanced each other. They complimented each other so well, even with the dark side still surging through them. It was easier now to ignore what little doubts she had about this thing between them that she was unable to identify.

'I know this is not the last time we've seen our son, Dormé. I know that when he speaks to you, he will understand and he will return home,' he said in gentle sincerity and fervency.

The sincerity in Vader's proclamation was undeniable and Dormé nodded to this quite firmly. Dormé bought into his dreams, increased by her own deep longing for such a reality.

For a moment, the chasm between them seemed to close as he wrapped the warm towel around Dormé and drew her near. Though the argument had only occurred a short time ago, it felt as though it never had happened as Dormé nodded in agreement and hugged him in reply. If only he could hold her forever, but such things were not meant to be leaving him to cherish this moment as though it were his last.

Despite her state of undress and long, wet hair, Dormé leant her head on his chest, hugging him as she briefly closed her eyes. 'He will come to love us, to love you,' she murmured, 'as much as I do.'

Her words too touched him deeply and gazing down at her with loving eyes, Anakin found himself once more clinging to a hope he knew would never be a reality, that somehow Dormé would make it, that they would all be a family as they both longed so desperately to be. He hoped they would grow old together and that their son would embrace his destiny and rule the Empire. But happiness was a fleeting thing and little did Vader realise just how close they were to the end...

* * *

A/N: Coming soon_–_ A Mother's Love


	18. A Mother’s Love

_When motherhood becomes the fruit of a deep yearning, not the result of ignorance or accident, its children will become the foundation of a new race.  
–Margaret Sanger_

Some weeks after the incident on Bespin, the Vaders received word that Luke had been captured by one of the hired bounty hunters and was being held on Gall in the Cadavine Sector. Dormé took it upon herself to visit the boy, endeavouring to change his mind about Vader and becoming part of their family. It was clear that a less barbaric form of persuasion was in order.

Though his own confrontation with their son had hardly gone as Anakin had hoped, he had faith that if anyone could convince Luke of their sincerity, it would be his beloved. Dormé, in his mind, was the perfect mother and he truly believed that his wife loved Luke, far more than his own birth mother ever had. When word reached them about their son's capture and that he was being held on Gall, Vader was more than in agreement with Dormé's desire to speak to Luke. He watched her as she made preparations for her visit, cooking and baking her finest foods, warming his heart in the process. Folding his arms, he observed in silent admiration, thinking how fortunate Luke was to have a mother like her. _He is certain to love her,_ Vader thought. He was equally certain that their son would be coming home to them and that they would be a family, that Dormé would finally be able to be the mother he knew she so badly wanted to be…was meant to be.

All of the clones and imperial officers knew who Dormé was, so it took little effort on her part to gain admittance to the boy's cell, even if she was unaccompanied by Vader. Their army knew that messing with her meant death by either her hand or her beloved's. Donning her least expensive and plainest gown, one she had not touched since her days serving Amidala, and without fanfare, Lady Vader entered the cellblock the bounty hunters kept the fledgling Jedi in. Within the folds of her tattered old cloak, she kept her custom-made wakizashi given to her two decades ago, though she knew she would not need it. In her arms, she carried a basket containing food she prepared ahead of time. Approaching their son's cell, she paid the bounty hunters the promised sum for his capture, for he would be coming with her. She entered and the door slid shut behind her.

* * *

Luke, having felt a person approaching, sat up and rubbed his eyes. It had been difficult attempting any sleep in this uncomfortable cell. The feel of this person's Force signature was incredibly strange. He was not sure what to make of it, but he certainly did not expect this woman was Lady Vader herself. 

The woman tossed back the hood of her worn cloak, revealing her long, dark hair and flawless pale skin. Luke could not deny that she was beautiful, though much older than him. His thoughts raced with questions though there would be more questions than answers by the time this impromptu meeting was over. He watched her carefully as she seated herself across from him in the tiny cell. Though he wished he had his lightsaber which was lost somewhere in Bespin, despite his hesitancy, he did not feel the woman was a threat.

'I brought this for you. I thought you could do with some proper food,' she said, handing over the basket of food.

Luke examined it carefully, but the mouth-watering aroma was too powerful to ignore. Though he knew it was not wise to eat food given by strangers, he felt it was all right…and besides, he _was_ hungry. 'Thank you,' he said before trying one of the dishes.

Dormé smiled, pleased that he seemed to enjoy her cooking. She was overwhelmed with motherly concern for their son, afraid he had not had a good, proper meal all his life since she had not been there to see to it herself. She could only imagine what sort of nutrition he received amongst the pitiful rebels.

He did not know why, but he felt a strange sort of connection to this mysterious woman. He could not explain it.

'Hello, Luke. How's your hand?' she asked as he ate. She was sincerely concerned about him, for she had not approved of her husband's methods, dark side influence or not.

Luke's first reaction was to make a fist with his new mechanical hand, opening and closing it before looking up at the stranger curiously. 'How do you know me?'

'I knew you before you were born,' she replied, noting how similar his facial expressions were to her husband. 'Your birth mother and I were very close.'

'My mother…'

Dormé's heart beat stronger in her chest, her eyes watering as he said this aloud. Though she knew he did not mean 'mother' in reference to her, it was so close, she wanted to pretend it was, even if for just a moment.

The woman was unobtrusive, calm, collected… He felt an odd sensation of love from her, but it seemed warped or shrouded by something else. It was very odd indeed. She said one thing, but what he registered of her emotions was completely different. 'Who are you?' he asked.

'My name is Dormé,' she replied.

Luke did not recognise the name. There were very few people outside of the higher ranking officers on _The Executor_ who knew Lady Vader's forename. He knew something was going on, but he was not sure what. 'Why are you here?'

Dormé smiled knowingly. He was impatient just like Anakin and she were. It was endearing to see what traits he had inherited outside of his looks. 'You look so much like your father,' she commented rather than directly answering his question. She desperately wanted to draw the boy into her arms and take him _home_, but resisted the urge.

'My _father_,' Luke scoffed, bitterly reminded of their confrontation. But despite the anger and despair he felt from the revelation, which was still difficult to accept, he was keenly aware this woman was connected somehow. 'You knew him?'

'Yes,' Dormé replied vaguely. The disgust and lack of compassion displayed by Luke at the mere mention of his father disgusted her. _I knew him, I know him, I love him…He's the other half of my soul…_

Luke wanted to know why Ben did not tell him. Why had he been brought up with a lie about him being pilot? It was such rubbish!

'Your father loves you very much,' she said. 'We both do.'

Luke's ears perked at this. It was not the fact that this woman believed his father and Vader were the same person, that she seemed to _know_ this, but also that she said _she_ loved him. 'You love him? How can you love him now after what he's done? I want to hate him, but I know I shouldn't. It's not the way of the Jedi…'

Dormé felt he was quite justified in his anger. She also knew very well the power anger could wield if manipulated the correct way. However, his questions about her love for Anakin prompted her to take a different tactic. Instead of waging verbal warfare with the fledgling Jedi and rebel alliance member, she played on the other emotions Vader failed to touch upon. 'Luke, Anakin is the only person who ever looked past my own background, my status as a handmaiden and Imperial security officer to see me for who I truly am. He's the truest and dearest friend I have ever had. For the past two decades, we have striven for peace in this galaxy side-by-side. When I thought he died aboard the Death Star, I was ready to take my own life to follow him. As much as I love him, he loves me. And we love you too, Luke.' She could not help reaching out to the boy who was really a young man, brushing the hair from his temple. 'Luke, whatever you might have heard about him, he has suffered so much, we both have. When I tell you he is a good man, that he has always wanted the best for you, you must believe me.'

Dormé's impassioned speech made an impression on Luke that would not resurface until he saw his father again. He was drawn in by it, though he struggled to believe it was all true. He had grown up hating the Empire, all of the violence and destruction it created. His ideals did not coincide with this woman's and it was hard to envision _Vader_ as a loving person. He wondered why Vader would chop of his hand if he loved him so much. It made little sense. He bowed his head.

Dormé watched Luke's eyes, which alerted her to his almost conversion to utter horror once more. This wasn't working, but she felt she was getting close to pushing the right buttons. 'I'll bet you always felt there was something more waiting for you when you were stuck on that wasteland of Tatooine,' she began, her motherly concern shifting to the dark desires of sinful hearts. '…always felt you were better than that place…'

Luke nodded, but didn't meet her eyes for a moment. He furrowed his brow, looking at her quizzically. 'Why are you here exactly?'

'I'm here to tell you, you were meant for more. Have you ever considered inheriting an Empire? Servants at your disposal? You would have the best of everything and get whatever you want, whenever you want it… Anakin wants to complete your training, but with the Sith. Don't you see, it will be perfect! The three of us can be a family just as we've always wanted, Luke!' Tears came to her eyes as she added, 'We thought you had died…all those years ago…You've grown up into a fine young man and I regret not being around to see it. We've already missed out on so many years together…It was a crime that Kenobi kept you from us for so long!'

Luke was truly starting to be drawn in to Dormé's words. The strength of emotions pouring off her had a huge affect on him. For a moment, Luke almost felt as though he wanted to hug her, as if _she_ were his long-lost mother. It was incredibly strange, but as soon as that feeling came, it dissipated. There was something sinister toward the end of her speech, something riddled in her Force signature. She had been so endearing, warm, and loving, but as she spoke of Obi-Wan, to say he was less-inclined to buy into it was an understatement. The mention of Ben was not the right move on this woman's part. He still missed his mentor and all the wisdom he could have learnt from him if only Vader, his _father_ had not killed him. 'Don't talk about Ben like that! Vader killed him, right in front of me!'

'Ben?' Dormé was confused by this, but only sidetracked for a moment. 'Listen, Luke, I'm sorry Anakin cut off your hand. I was furious upon hearing this. It was most certainly not the right way to go about telling you of your family—'

This woman was starting to sound scary and he almost wished she had not come in to this cell. It seemed like the dark side was in her, though he knew she was not Force sensitive. Or if she was, she had not displayed the ability yet. She had a deranged look in her amber eyes which before had looked so tempting. She had said things about him and lured him with information he was not so sure he wanted to know anymore, despite his curiosity. This woman claimed to have known his mother, but seemed like she could have been his mother, telling him things he had wanted to hear since he was a little boy, dreaming of adventures in space. She had all of the answers, it seemed, but he wanted to hear it from Obi-Wan. _But Ben's dead…Vader killed him…It's not possible that Ben might have lied to me…is it?_ But judging from the look in Dormé's eyes and the way the dark side _felt_ to him, Luke just knew it was the wrong path to take. He did not want to become like his father.

She could tell he was no longer listening to her and that she had lost him.

'Why did you come here really?'

'Because I want to take you home. I want you to be part of our family,' she said once more, desperately clinging to the hope that he would change his mind.

Jumping from his seat, causing the rest of her food basket to drop to the floor, he asked, 'So you didn't come here to kill me?' with almost a sardonic tone, unknowingly close to his father's.

Dormé rose to her feet, the tears returning. 'Why would I harm you, Luke? What your father did was a mistake. I spoke to him about that—we truly want what is best for you. We want to protect you and love you. We want you to be happy, that's all, I promise.'

Luke stared down at her, his heart beating wildly. 'I would be happier if you let me out of here so I can find my friend which my father so graciously froze in carbonite and gave to some bounty hunter,' he said, trying to withhold his anger.

Dormé straightened her cloak and nodded slowly in understanding. Just before turning to leave, she placed her hands on either side of his head before standing on the balls of her feet to kiss his forehead in benediction. In silence, she smiled sadly while she put his face to memory. She touched his cheek and departed, leaving the door to his cell open. She almost regretted having to tell Anakin that she failed, though she knew he would know since Luke was not going to be returning with her.

Little did Dormé know that later, when all was said and done, she would be so incredibly proud of Luke for resisting her attempt to draw him into their web of darkness.

* * *

During her absence, Anakin went about preparing a room for the Padawan. Though it was not a part of their chambers, it was within their private wing of the ship so privacy would be ensured. Though it hardly had the splendour that Vader presumed their son would want, it was still quite elegant and more than suited for the boy's needs. 

It was not long after he returned to their personal chambers that Anakin sensed Dormé's presence returning to the ship. Almost immediately, he knew something was wrong for he did not sense Luke's Force signature with her. Frowning in concern, he could feel her sorrow and could only imagine what had happened. He knew how much she had been looking forward to this moment and could only imagine how much it hurt to have to leave without Luke. With this in mind, Anakin swiftly put on his armour and went to meet her as fast as he could. Though he might not have known what exactly had happened, whatever it was, he wanted to be there for her, to be her support and comfort as she was for him so many times before.

Dormé was able to leave Luke with her shoulders back and her head held high. She compartmentalized the event so that she could be just like that handmaiden she used to be and return aboard her ship without anyone being the wiser about her true intentions behind this mission. But upon boarding _The Executor_, she began to waver as her emotions resurfaced. Try as she might, as soon as she heard Vader's breathing and approaching footsteps, she raced over to him as the tears began to fall heedlessly. She could not speak and knew she did not have to, at least not yet. She felt rejected and worthless, but felt sorry that she had failed him. She knew how much he wanted them to be a family, just as much as she did. It just was not meant to be.

At the sight of her the Sith lord felt his heart go out to her and moved swiftly as she rushed towards him. Slipping his arms around her Anakin once more cursed his armour and as he silently tried to comfort his beloved. Gently running his hand over her hair and doing half circles on her back, he tried to comfort her sorrow by sending her soothing thoughts through the Force. Knowing she would want privacy and wanting to hold her properly without the confines of his suit, Vader gently guided her to their chambers. Once inside, he swiftly removed his mask and once more moved to draw her close while gently kissing her forehead. Vader did not need to ask what had happened for Dormé's sorrow spoke volumes to him and caused his heart to ache for her. After all she had been through, with only himself to blame, all Anakin wanted was for her to know happiness, to know the joy she so rightfully deserved.

Dormé could not remember returning to their quarters because her thoughts were on Luke and how close she had come to persuading him into coming home. There were very few things Dormé wanted and to be able to take care of Luke, though he was already a young man, was something she desperately hoped for. Now, it seemed it was too late and he had made the decision not to come with her. 'I'm sorry,' she murmured after he kissed her forehead. 'I tried but he wouldn't listen.'

Anakin furrowed his brow feeling Dormé's despair and sorrow that intermingled with his own. As always, he never could quite say where her feelings ended and his began. Vader was just too close to Dormé regard himself as whole without her anymore. Holding her close, he caught her murmured words and gently shook his head as he tried to sooth her pain through both his actions and the Force. 'My love, there is no need to apologize. This is, after all, my fault. Had I not been such a fool and lost myself in battle, our son wouldn't have been so hesitant about returning home,' he admitted sadly.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes though remaining in his arms. Resting her head on his chest, she let out a long, despondent sigh. If not for her own sake, but for Anakin's, she had failed in getting Luke to open up. It was a failing, but not a permanent one.

Anakin tightened his embrace and moved to gently remove the remnant tears from her cheek before returning his fingers to her hair. Her sigh made his heart ache for her as silently he cursed Luke for hurting Dormé who had wanted nothing more than to be the mother he never had. While he was aware that the boy had been _brainwashed_ by his former master, Vader wished that Luke could have given Dormé a chance. His beloved had done nothing to their son, but show him kindness and love. If the Padawan had anyone to be bitter towards, it was him. 'Dormé, it's going to be all right. After all, a lifetime of brainwashing can't be undone overnight. Look how long it took for me to have my eyes opened to the truth about the Jedi. It's probably going to be the same for Luke,' he said gently hoping to ease her despair and help her see that her attempts were not as fruitless as she believed. Little did he realize just how correct he was in this assessment, despite the fact it would not be for the reasons he believed.

Though her beloved's words were reassuring and she nodded to them, she could not help feeling as though it would be the last time she ever saw Luke. She thought of how familiar his personality was, how passionately he spoke of his friends, the slight movements of his body and gestures that were so familiar, yet slightly different. Luke, despite all his protestations was their son. Dormé told Anakin everything that was said between them, emphasizing just how close she had come to bringing him home.

Anakin held her close as Dormé spoke while gently playing with her hair and caressing her back hoping to sooth her troubled thoughts and pain even a little. Though it did not go as planned, Anakin was grateful that Dormé took the chance to see their son. At least Luke now was a little familiar with his family and would hopefully understand that they only wanted what was best for him, despite the poison fed to him by Obi-Wan and the Rebels he now associated himself with. Vader felt that Dormé did nothing wrong and in fact her words only made him all the more disappointed in their son. He was far too hard on her. His anger should have been directed at him for he was the one who removed Luke's hand, not Dormé. His beloved was nothing more than kind and gentle to the boy.

Then she recalled the basket of food crashing to the floor, his request to find his friend and how she said goodbye. 'I shouldn't have brought up Kenobi. If I hadn't, he would have come home,' she sadly concluded. 'He was so close, so close...' She shook her head before looking up at Vader.

As Dormé expressed her concerns about how she had spoke of Obi-Wan—which, in her opinion, was the cause for Luke's rejection—Anakin shook his head gently as he touched her cheek. 'You did the right thing. If you hadn't spoken about him, then how else would you have been able to expose Luke to the truth? Though he might have refused you then, Luke will look back and realize that your actions only confirms what he knows deep down to be true. Not even Obi-Wan's poison could blind him from that,' Anakin concluded softly as he furrowed his brow feeling his own shame returning.

'You're right, I shouldn't have expected him to be able to forget all those years of brainwashing. I just can't help feel—' Dormé exhaled slowly, not wanting to finish the sentence. It was true she did not feel that she would ever see Luke again, though she did not know how true this thought was. She herself had no idea that the last wound she had inflicted upon herself, thinking her beloved was dead, would never fully heal.

Vader tightened his embrace to Dormé's words as he gave her a gentle look. He could not blame her for struggling over the experience and he could only imagine how emotionally wearing it had to have been on her. Once more, he was reminded of his actions towards Luke and cursed himself for not being more mindful. 'If anyone is to blame for his rejection, it is me. I was the one who ruined things for us. If only I hadn't been so caught up the battle—' He fell silent, shaking his head. He did not want to think about what he had done for it filled him with such shame now. It was another callous action that only served to hurt those he loved.

'I wish we could make sure none of our officers fire upon him. I'm worried about him, running around with those Rebels. I could tell he hadn't had a proper meal in ages... Oh why wouldn't he listen?' she rambled on, thinking about what she could have said or done differently and of the dangers he would face outside of their protection.

As Dormé spoke of her fears, Vader furrowed his brow in concern as well. He did not think their officers would fire on him as he had specifically told his subordinates in the past that Luke Skywalker was a matter that they would tend to themselves. It was not much, but he hoped their fear of them would override their need to remove this particular rebel. Even so, hearing Dormé express her concerns only reminded Anakin what a perfect mother she would be for Luke, if only the boy would realize it. 'It's going to be all right. The officers know better than to harm him. They know it is a matter we are dealing with personally. Their fear of us will ensure their proper behaviour,' he said softly as he leaned in letting his forehead touch hers.

'He doesn't even have your old lightsaber anymore to protect him!'

'My love, he's going to be fine. He might only be a Padawan but he strong in the Force and with us watching him, even from this distance, no harm will come to him,' he concluded gently.

Anakin assured her the officers would not intentionally fire upon their son and this too was comforting, though there were plenty of others not working directly under them who did not play by the same rules. She knew of his Force abilities, but would honestly feel more comfortable about it all if he still had his lightsaber. 'Those rebels claim they want peace and all they do is encourage war,' she muttered, wishing Luke would just see their folly, but then her husband said how fortunate Luke was.

Anakin nodded, not understanding the irony of the situation or the truth of it all. To him, the Rebels were nothing more than warmongers who could not just accept the peace that had been given to them. He could only hope that Luke in time would see the error of their ways and understand the truth's of Dormé and his own words. In soft tones, he added, 'He is so fortunate to have such a loving mother watching out for him. I have faith that in time, despite the poison fed to him, Luke will realize this as well.'

Tears once more came to her eyes as she gazed up at him. 'I will always be watching out for him, just as I will always be watching over you, even if you don't need me to, being a powerful Sith lord as you are,' she said softly, though her voice was strong.

Her final comment tore at his heart and painfully reminded him of the old doctor's words. Closing his eyes, he tried to ignore the tears that began to sting in his eyes and the lump that formed in his throat.

She watched him intently, seeing him close his eyes and swallow hard. She knew something was wrong, but did not press it. She never did, even when she desperately wanted to know what was troubling. She knew he had the ability to see things, most often in meditations or in the form of dreams that were of future events, but she placed little faith or value in such things. As such, she never pestered him about his visions. She just prayed it was not anything detrimental involving their son. To her, Anakin and Luke's well-fare and happiness were her primary concerns.

Reminding himself to enjoy what little time they had together, Vader forced back his silent despair and opened his eyes once more. Gazing down at the beauty that had been and always would be his queen, he put her words to heart unaware of how true this too would become. Touching her cheek, he swallowed as he studied her intently putting her image to memory as though he would never see her again. 'My love, I will always need you. Without you, I am truly nothing more than a shadow of what I am,' he said in soft and sincere tones.

He was looking at her in such a way that always warmed her heart. Had she been Force sensitive, she would have recognised the pain and despair emanating from him. Since she was unaware of it, she smiled at his words.

Forcing his thoughts clear, Anakin tried to focus on the present, to not think of the future as he often struggled not to do. It was a trait he had always admired about Dormé, for she never had time for such things. But in this moment, it was also a relief for it was the last thing he wanted to discuss. Yet as he studied her in reverent silence, the Sith lord tried his best to ignore his fears and to hide them from his beloved. Yet even so, it was hard to ignore the strange feeling of finality that lingered in this moment and it reflected in his words. However much to his relief Dormé did not sense his despair and seemed to visibly calm. Her smile both warmed and tore at his heart. If only these moments could last forever.

She rose up to kiss him tenderly on the lips. This itself was enough to make her feel much better about the entire episode.

_Focus on these moments for how soon they will fade,_ he reminded himself before returning her smile and gently kissing her back as though it were their last as he tightened his embrace. _How I love you, my dearest Dormé,_ he whispered into her thoughts.

Dormé focused on their kiss, though it was clear there was something different about it. As much as she would try to ignore it, there was a nagging feeling in the back of her head telling her to put her all into it. With his whispered message, such dark thoughts dissipated to the point that she forgot about it.

'I love you, Anakin,' she murmured with all of her heart between kisses. Dormé knew she did not say it enough. 'I love you...so much...' She pressed herself close to him as she held him possessively tight. She had always loved him, even when she did not know it. The day might have forfeited Luke to the Rebels, but she had her king and that, at the end of the day, was what mattered most. Everything else would fall into place. It was only a matter of time, she felt optimistically.


	19. The Death of a Dark Angel

_Remember me when I am gone away,  
Gone far away into the silent land;  
When you can no more hold me by the hand,  
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.  
_—Christina Rossetti

After the last confrontation with Luke, Dormé suggested to Vader that they take a holiday to recharge and give their son some time to think. Dormé was confident the boy would come around. After all, if he was anything like his father, he would be curious about the Force and about his family. No one could provide such information except Vader himself.

It had been awhile since they were last in their lakehouse on Delaya and Dormé thought it would be a good place to get away from everything that had happened recently. It would give them time away from their incompetent compatriots and continue to mend the slight space between them.

Dormé never cared much for Alderaan and hardly noticed it was gone until she studied the night sky on Delaya. These days, Delaya was far more populated than ever before. The peace normally acquired at their private property was not nearly as quiet as it had been in the past.

As their days away from everything drew to a close, Anakin and Dormé fantasized about what sort of glorious royal family they would be once they convinced Luke to join them in their Empire, quelling the pitiful insurrection that was the Rebellion. Luke would have it all and they would not think twice about spoiling him, giving in to his every whim. Who wouldn't want that sort of life?

* * *

Though he knew that there would come a day when death would force them to part ways, Vader never once considered that it would be his beloved who would cross the veil first. In reality, he did his best not to dwell on such things. There was still a part of him that secretly hoped such a time would never come. But in his foolishness and arrogance, Anakin had crossed one line too many and now his queen, his beloved Dormé, was fading away before his very eyes. His wife did not know that every breath she took was borrowed, nor did she realize that every heartbeat drew her that much closer to the end. Though he hid it well, Anakin too was dying on the inside as each day drew closer to her last. 

On this particular morning, as he woke up to the soft warmth that was Dormé's embrace, Anakin found himself studying his beloved through understanding eyes. It was strange to think that only now, as a follower of the dark side for so many years, did he finally understand the wisdom given to him when he was still on the light side. He had always been taught to live in the moment, not to let the future or possible future to take control.

_Though we may not understand it, everything happens as the Force wills it. We must accept it and learn to let go. _

Furrowing his brow, Vader gave sighed softly at the memory of his former Master's words. For the first time since his fall, Anakin did not feel the usual rush of blind hatred at the thought of his old mentor. In fact, for the first time in years, he felt only a tinge of melancholy, though he believed it was nothing more than his thoughts returning to the sleeping woman in his arms. Studying her with the silent intensity that she always loved, Vader found himself recalling the past and just enjoying the present.

As he ran his fingers through her dark mane of hair, Anakin smiled in contentment. Though they had been together for over twenty years, he never grew tired of mornings like this. He was certain that he never would. But this morning was different somehow, more poignant, as though they were on the precipice of something great. He did not know what it could possibly be, but he was already looking forward to it.

If only he knew…

Despite this hint of an elusive epiphany, Anakin's thoughts did not linger too much on the future for the present was far more inviting. It was not often, if ever, that Vader did not think about the future, yet in this moment, his mind was focused on the here and now. Most importantly, he focused entirely on her. Gently moving his hand to her cheek, he gingerly caressed it as though she were a sleeping goddess and he, a mere mortal, who had stumbled upon her.

Even in rest, Dormé looked so regal and poised, dignified and yet entirely at peace. It was very easy to forget that at one time she was a handmaiden in the services of another queen. It was even easier to forget that at one time he had been married to that very queen Dormé had served or that he had been nothing more than a Jedi, a lost soul dying to lose himself in something greater than himself.

With Dormé, he did not have to be anyone but himself, an ordinary man trying to find his place among the stars. She knew his weaknesses, had been witness to his flaws as well as his strengths and she loved him for it. Because of her, Anakin became something far greater than he could have ever imagined. She completed him in ways that he could never hope to understand and one day, he would come to learn that Dormé was in reality his goodness manifested in physical form.

Nevertheless, even this evaded his thoughts as he let his fingers slip away from her cheek and back to her long hair. Playing with it as he did almost every night during their years together, Anakin closed his eyes and gave a peaceful sigh. Drawing her closer to him, Vader breathed her in—the soft scent of rain-drenched flowers that were quintessentially Dormé soothing him—and soon drifted off into a peaceful sleep, unaware that this morning would mark their last together.

* * *

That afternoon, Dormé lounged on a particularly comfortable couch while Anakin was speaking with the Emperor in a private room. Dormé sipped on a mug of a local hot cider as she watched the rain pouring outside through the window. The pattering sound of rain was soothing and something she missed during their long stints aboard their Super Star Destroyer. It was refreshing to be on land once more, to be in the heart of nature which was lost when they were out in space. 

Suddenly the sound of laser fire, alerted her to intruders. It was hard to tell which direction the attack was coming from. She heard the stormtroopers outside yelling and firing, but Dormé was promptly on her feet, grabbing her wakizashi. Dormé debated about whether to alert her beloved because she knew interrupting a conversation with his master would _not_ bode well for either of them. She also knew with his Force sensitivity, he would have _felt_ the danger already anyway.

It was not long before one of the attackers entered their home. It took a split-second for Dormé to recognise the older woman. It was the woman she had been hunting down personally ever since Moteé's death. 'Rabé,' Dormé hissed. She was the witch who not only killed Moteé, but also had been trying to kill Dormé herself on more than one occasion. Dormé would see to it that she paid dearly.

The elder former handmaiden was well aware of Vader's weaknesses. From her research, she knew this entire lakehouse was built specifically catered to his medical needs. She knew, from careful observation that he was able to navigate the complex without use of his suit and mask. Knowing Vader would not be able to protect his lady if they were outside; Rabé decisively aimed her blaster at the large windows, causing them to shatter and the vacuumed environment to rush out.

Dormé promptly disarmed her opponent, causing her blaster to skid across the room, but Rabé, who was also well-trained with a sword, was quick to defend herself upon Dormé's second attack. Dormé refused to concede one step backward as her blade met Rabé's.

Rabé used a technique that she had witnessed Sabé use on one occasion. Deftly retreating a few steps to make it look as though Lady Vader had the advantage, the older woman dodged to the left before swiftly attacking at the right, using her right-handed weakness as her advantage, forcing her left-handed foe backward. She continued with harsh strokes, continually forcing Dormé outside into the rain.

Dormé did not like where this was heading. Little did the older former handmaiden know, Dormé had a trick up her sleeve. She had tendrils of the dark side within her cells. Though she did not feel it, nor was she aware of it, but the power compelled her on the inside to be fiercer and more aggressive in her attacks.

* * *

As he spoke to the emperor, Anakin sensed something was amiss. Frowning, he was about to excuse himself properly when Vader heard the sound of glass shattering and gunfire. Without a word of explanation to his master, the younger Sith lord ended communications and rushed out of the room quickly. 

He could feel the danger now pulsating through his veins and knew without question who it was directed at. 'Dormé…' he whispered in fear, quickly grabbing his armour.

He could see from the hallway that led to the living room where she had been lounging earlier. One of the windows had been destroyed. He sensed that she was outside where the threat now stood.

Moving swiftly to place on the heavy layers of protective suiting, Anakin felt as though he was not moving nearly fast enough. Dormé's life was in grave danger and with each moment wasted away on his suit, Vader knew he would have one less moment to intervene and save his queen.

* * *

Though Rabé had many more years of duelling experience behind her, it was clear the dark side gave Dormé the advantage. Or at least it appeared so. 

With their swords tangled up in their duel, Rabé broke free and used the butt of her sword to hit Dormé in the gut, unaware that she had hit a sensitive spot.

Dormé had the wind knocked out of her, but the pain that engulfed her midsection, which never fully healed, was enough to cause her to pause. This allowed Rabé to get a good stab in. Dormé cried out in agony as Rabé's sword pierced through her abdomen. When the older woman removed her sword, blood gushed from her wound.

Despite the injury, Dormé's fury far outweighed her pain. Standing upright once more, she was able to dodge the rest of Rabé's attacks. She blocked out the pain with her anger, hissing and spitting at her foe.

Rabé was taken by surprise. She had expected to leave and let her die. She had not expected Lady Vader to viciously counter-attack like this. She was ferocious and the look in her eyes was something out of a nightmare. Rabé retreated without looking behind her, for her eyes were wide, locked on the infamous Lady Vader, whose reputation had not been over-exaggerated.

Dormé recalled every single one of Rabé's 'snarky' looks and disapproving glances. She recalled how she chided Moteé and her for sneaking out to clubs. She recalled the news of Moteé's death and the sadness in her husband and son's eyes at her funeral rites. Rabé had not only killed Moteé and no doubt many other loyal Imperials. She had also plotted Dormé's own demise and attempted to carry it out. Rabé was _worse_ than her old mentor, Saché. Dormé hissed and cursed as her attacks grew more violent. Even with her mortal wound, Dormé held the upper-hand. She took off Rabé's sword-arm and with one final slice, her head.

As Rabé's body and head fell in a pool of her own blood, Dormé's own pain returned with severe intensity. She found she was no longer able to hold her sword, but managed to stumble back indoors, stepping over the broken glass and through the living room. It hurt to move. It hurt to breathe. But Dormé would not stop until she reached her beloved.

Dormé no longer cared what the emperor had to say or whether it would look poorly on Anakin or her for interrupting. She did not even remember leaving her wakizashi outdoors. Her legs felt heavy and she found it increasingly harder to walk any further.

She passed through the next room, but did not make it to where he was. Teetering slightly, she took note that she was trailing blood, her own blood. 'Anakin—' she called, but her voice was thick. Using the wall to steady herself, she took another step, but that was as far as she managed to go before sliding to the floor. She coughed again, this time with blood. Dormé had never been so afraid in her entire life except for the time she thought Anakin might die. She had never been afraid of death before, not when her beloved was with her. She knew they would go together if the Force willed it so, but they had been lucky. Now, it seemed, her luck was running out.

The panic proved far too powerful to ignore or resist and despite the demands of common sense, Vader swiftly returned to the living room without his mask and the respirator that it contained. The sight that greeted him was nothing less than the manifestation of his greatest fear; Dormé was dying and he could nothing to save her. He could hear her soft voice speaking his name as he entered the room and rushed to her side just as Dormé struggled to meet him.

Dormé began to delude herself into thinking it was Rabé's blood, that Dormé would not die because she was Lady Vader. She would not die this time, not at the hands of some pathetic traitor like Rabé. That witch! That murderous witch! Dormé insisted that she was too young to die. She refused to believe it. This was hardly a grand way for her to die… And Anakin… _Oh gods!_ she began to cry. _I can't leave him. I cannot. I won't…This isn't fair!_ She could not feel her legs anymore and her body was feeling so much colder, though she blamed this on the rain. But it had to be all right since she could no longer feel any pain from her injury. Certainly, that was a good sign…wasn't it?

'DORMÉ!' he cried out as he struggled to catch his breath while the panic caused his blood to feel as though it were made of ice. He vaguely took note of the blood that pooled and poured from Dormé's wound. There was so much blood everywhere…trailing from the broken windows to where she now rested. It was all hers and this did little to aid Anakin in his need to maintain calm.

_I'm sorry, Lord Vader, but we've done all we can but the damage has already been done. It is a miracle that your wife was even able to survive this wound, most would not. If I were you, I'd count my blessings while I can, for Lady Dormé is living on borrowed time now. _

The memory of the doctor's words returned to haunt him as Anakin moved to slip his arms around Dormé to hold her close to him.

All the curses Dormé had left soon filtered away as the darkness within her flew away. The dark side had little use for a dying body and this left Dormé spiritually naked and incredibly exposed, vulnerable to her fears. It seemed like an eternity before she was in her beloved's arms. Her thoughts were running wild, but she was extremely conscious despite the blood loss.

'Dormé, please hold on…Oh Force, don't take her from me…' he whispered desperately as the tears began to stream down his cheeks. Though the suit was designed to maintain equilibrium of temperature, Vader felt as though his very bones ached from a numbing chill. His broken lungs burned as he gasped for air, but none of this mattered. All Vader knew was that his beloved was dying and he had to do something, anything, to save her. Silently, he begged the Force and the gods, any higher power in existence, to take his Force powers and even his life in order to spare hers. But the gods and the Force remained silent and instead only watched on as Vader brushed away the dark strands of her now bloodied hair from her cheek.

Anakin's tears were her own. As she looked up into his blue eyes, she knew this was it. The pain and desperation she saw there mirrored her own. Though she could barely feel his arms around her, she heard him.

'My love…please don't go…I'm begging you…please hold on,' he whispered hoarsely as he touched her cheek and tried to summon anyone who could help them through the Force. It was a desperate gamble, but the only doctor he was aware of within the region was still on the Executor, which was in orbit over Delaya. He hoped the old man, who had saved Dormé's life once before, would register the silent sense of urgency and return to the surface.

'Anakin—' she began, having difficulty speaking through her tears.

Nevertheless, despite this frantic attempt to call for help time had long since run out for the dark lord's beloved queen and goddess. Though Anakin did not want to believe it, deep down he knew that there would be no second chances this time. Holding her close he tried to ignore the fact her body was growing rapidly colder and that her skin was growing deathly, just as he tried to pretend that he could not see her Force aura was rapidly fading away. She could not die after all for she was the other half of his soul. They were one after all the completion of one another. Death could not steal her away without taking him as well, or so he told himself, as he played with her hair and tried to speak words of love to her through his tears.

'I'm afraid, Anakin. I don't want to die...' Dormé wanted him to fix it, to make it all better. She wished to go back to the day before when they were happy and unaware of the travails this day would bring. Deep down, she knew this was not possible and that this day inevitably had to come. _Just one more day, one more hour..._ she begged the gods and the Force, any entity that might respond to her desperate pleas.

Her words so desperate and fearful tore at his heart leaving Anakin feeling all the more helpless. But despite their desperate prayers, the time had come for Dormé to return to the stars. Holding her close Anakin tried to clear his thoughts to actually think beyond his own emotions. At her words, he tightened his embrace and gently moved to touch her cold, pale cheek. 'It's all right, my love...I'm...not going anywhere...' Anakin said softly between his own gasps of air. His lungs continued their struggle and soon the Sith lord felt himself growing light-headed because of it. But in this moment, it mattered little, for his thoughts were entirely on her.

With her left hand, she reached up to touch his tear-stained cheek with what strength she had left. It felt like the time they shared their first kiss before he went to Kessel over twenty years ago. She felt as though she was reaching for something that was just beyond her grasp. All of those years they spent together...His laughter, his smile, the look in his eyes which told her everything she needed to know, how much she valued him as a friend and companion...

Feeling her hand reaching up to touch his cheek, the broken man leant into it gently as he gazed down at her with sorrow-filled, but loving eyes. Her words brought new tears to his eyes, but this time he forced himself not to openly weep. For he could feel her sorrow through the Force and knew it was because she did not want to cause him pain. He wanted her to know this was not her fault, that he only had himself to blame for this, that where she went he would soon follow… But his lungs would not permit him to speak all the words he wanted to say and Anakin was too lost to his despair to tap the Force as he would have liked.

_My lord, my king, my husband, my best friend and dearest love..._ 'I don't want to leave you—' she said, her voice strained in anguish of her heart, not from the wounds Rabé inflicted. She did not want him to be alone and she could not stand being the cause of his pain.

'My dearest Dormé...my precious beloved...it is...all right…for...we are one...you and I...I will always...be...with you...my love...' he whispered softly unaware of just how true this would become.

'Anakin—' Her breath hitched before she exhaled her last breath.

Bowing his head, the Sith lord held her close to him as his body shook with silent sobs of despair. All around him, the ground began to spin violently as his body felt cold and numb. '...My dearest beloved...My queen...My goddess...I am...so sorry...' he whispered, knowing he had only himself to blame for her passing. His every mistake and wrong-doing towards her replayed in his mind, adding to his despair and sorrow.

_If only you could have learnt how to properly heal... If only you could have told her that you were safe after the Death Star's destruction... If only you could have told her that she would always be Luke's mother in your eyes…_ the darkness taunted his fading thoughts adding to Vader's guilt and shame.

Closing his eyes, Anakin felt the inky blackness of unconsciousness creeping into his thoughts and openly welcomed it. In his dizzying and clouded thoughts, Anakin could still hear Dormé's words and recall her sorrow. She was more saddened at the thought of leaving him than of passing away. The thought tore at his heart as well and as he struggled to breathe his last breath Anakin could not help but smile slightly as he deluded himself into believing he would be granted the bliss of following her.

_...I'll be with you...soon...my love..._ he spoke within his thoughts as he hoped his words would help ease her sorrow before slipping into unconsciousness.

* * *

_Infectious sense of hopelessness  
And prayers for rain  
I suffocate  
I breathe in dirt  
And nowhere shines  
But desolate  
And drab the hours all spent  
On killing time again  
All waiting for the rain  
…  
You fracture me your hands on me  
A touch so plain so stale it kills  
You strangle me  
Entangle me in hopelessness and prayers for rain  
I deteriorate I live in dirt  
And nowhere glows but drearily and tired  
The hours all spent on killing time  
Again all waiting for the rain  
_—The Cure

* * *

In his lucid dream, she was there, swimming in the vast pond which was surrounded by a vast, tropical forest. It was the same place he had often visited in dreams of the past and like such dreams, it was, in reality, nothing more than a nightmare. For now, all he remembered of this place was the immense peace that marked she was near. It was then he caught sight of her swimming. How often he wondered if water was truly her domain! 

At the sight of him, Dormé laughed and teased, inviting him to join her. After a few moments of hesitation, he finally overcame his paralyzing fear and moved to join her in the water. However, as he entered the water and moved to join her side, Anakin eyes widen in concern and sorrow. As he reached out to draw her to him, the lithe form of his beloved slowly faded away as though she were but a restless spirit. With a heart weighed heavy with grief, Vader moved to return to shore, to find some clue as to where his beloved had gone.

At her departure, the air seemed to grow thicker, leaving Anakin gasping for air as though his lungs were broken despite the fact he inhabited his twenty-three-year-old body before the flames of Mustafar damaged him. All around him, the beautiful trees withered and faded as the sparkling moonlit water became murky. The waterfall slowed to a sluggish drip before ceasing altogether.

Anakin, who had no idea where Dormé went or why she left, swiftly returned to the forest in a desperate search for his lost love, but no matter how hard he searched for her, Dormé could not be found. For an eternity or so, Lord Vader scoured and searched the forest, praying to the gods and to the Force for mercy, begging and pleading with them, even offering his very soul if only they would return his beloved goddess to him. The time for mercy had drawn to a close for the broken man, leaving his prayers and desperate pleas to fall on silent ears. Nevertheless, this did not stop him from desperately trying.

If anything, the silence only worsened his need to find her so that in the end, not a single inch of the forest was untouched by the Sith lord. Eventually he finally found himself at the outskirts of the forest, staring into the thick, white mist that he had regarded as the perimeter. He had come to this place many times, but not once had he ever been able to see anything beyond it. This time, however, he could make out the shadowy figure of a woman moving through the mist. He did not need to guess who it was, for it was a silhouette that he had long ago put to memory, engraved in his heart.

'Dormé?' he called out, the desperation evident in his voice as he moved to step into the mist only to be held back by an unseeing force. Calling her name repeatedly in desperation, Vader watched in utter despair as the shadow faded away into the mist. The wind around him began to pick up, clearing the thick, choking fog that inhibited his ability to breath properly. Soft whispers floated along the wind, beckoning him to pay attention and begging him to take heed.

'You must wake-up…' her voice whispered sorrowfully to him through the breeze causing Anakin to furrow his brow in confusion.

'Please wake-up…' she breathed into his ears as he tried once more to step into the mist. This time he succeeded only to feel himself beginning to awaken as his eyes slowly fluttered open marking the fact he was regaining consciousness.

'Only when you open your eyes will we be truly together again.'

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lord Vader could still recall the final hushed whisper carried in the wind just before he awoke.

'Any sign of improvement?'

Anakin had already closed his eyes due to the brightness of the room when he caught the familiar voice of the man who had saved Dormé. His thoughts began to scatter then as memory of the past events returned with a vengeance.

_'I'm afraid, Anakin. I don't want to die...'_

This was not death he promptly realized, it was much worse. This was life, and now he, but a shadow, was trapped in it. He tried to block out the sound of the respirator that choked life into his broken lungs just as he tried to ignore the brightness that burned his closed eyes.

'Negative, doctor,' replied the droid who was monitoring his life signs.

_'...My dearest beloved...My queen...My goddess...I am...so sorry...'_

Vader frowned struggling to slip back into the meditative, comatose state he was in moments ago, anything to escape this wretched place…anything to return to her. This was not really happening; it just could not be happening.

'It is as I thought,' the old man replied. 'It is quite the miracle that he is even alive, especially given the weakened state of his lungs nevermind the left lung's collapse—'

Instead of the rush of despair, all that Vader felt was a strange calm over coming him at these words. It was as though somehow within this simple statement held the answers he sought. They forced him into this hell. They denied him the right to remain with his beloved, to follow her into the realms of harmony and to the Force. Now he would make them pay and when it was over, only then would he join her.

_Soon my love…_ he thought in silent determination as he drew the darkness around him for what he thought would be the final time. He proceeded to unleash his hell upon them.

The wires that connected the many machines of the medical Lab suddenly broke free and sparked with life as the lights exploded one by one. The older doctor was the first to come to his senses and swiftly he moved to stop Anakin who had now risen from his bed and had long since removed the respirator.

'You couldn't just…leave me alone, could you?!' Vader growled, ignoring the burning pain in his chest.

The elderly man said nothing at first as the towering form of the Sith lord glared at him. If he was fazed, it hardly showed even as he did speak. 'Lord Vader, you were brought to me by one of your officers—'

Anakin did not care anymore and did not want to hear who deserved a slow, painful death for forcing him to live in this hell without her. Unleashing the Force with unnatural ease, Vader watched as the black tendrils wrapped around the old doctor's throat.

The old man struggled but always managed to keep his dignity and did not bother to beg for mercy or cry out. In fact, he seemed almost content, but Vader also paid little heed to this. He wanted him dead and, within moments, the lifeless shell fell to the floor in a heap.

_'I will always be watching over you, even if you don't need me to…'_

As Anakin proceeded to unleash the dark side to butcher the entire medical staff, his thoughts became flooded with memories, snippets in time that were forever stolen from him because of his bloodlust and greed.

_'Even if you never touched the Force again, I would still love you and want to be with you.'_

Between tears of despair and sorrow, Vader fully succumbed to the darkness that he wielded, hoping to find solace from the pain that was eating him alive. But to his dismay, there was no peace to be found, only the cold touch of death brought on by the lives he snuffed and the sinking feeling of shame at the memories that would not depart.

'_I don't want to leave you—'_

* * *

The Emperor was hardly fazed by his apprentice's handiwork as her moved slowly through the mutilated or decapitated corpses and fried remains of droids. The Sith Master was well aware of his apprentice's need to unleash his emotions and was hardly bothered by this. He did, however, sense Vader's life was in danger and, as he entered the side room where the recently deceased were autopsied, he soon found his answer. Huddled over the still and lifeless form of Lady Vader was the normally domineering form of Lord Vader. 

Gently touching her cold pale cheek and holding her lifeless hand, the broken warrior openly wept. He could still hear her soft whispers of love and smell the scent of freshly rained flowers that always lingered about her. When he closed his eyes, he could still see her smile and the way her eyes shone when she looked at him that way.

'I'm coming home…my love…' he murmured in barely audible tones. It hurt to breathe, let alone speak, but he did not mind. It only meant that soon, she would be in his arms again and this place, this life, would be nothing more than a memory. His eyes grew heavy and his thoughts became incoherent from the lack of oxygen.

Suddenly, Anakin felt a sharp shift in the Force as a rush of cool air filled the small room. Someone had activated the safety atmospheric controls that permitted him to breathe without the mask, should an emergency require it. His heart sank as he felt his lung fill with the cool air, leaving him to feel as though the Force was conspiring against him. With a low growl, he drew the Force around him before unleashing a Force attack that was swiftly blocked by the last person he wanted to see.

'Lord Vader,' said the low voice of his Master, 'what do you hope to accomplish by killing yourself? Do you think this is really going to bring Skywalker to our side?' The emperor drew nearer in obvious agitation.

'How the urugal was that supposed to make him want him to come home to his family?!' Dormé's voice echoed in his mind and in silence, the Sith lord frowned and swallowed hard, cursing his emotions and the fact his master was witness to them.

'I've served my purpose, now let me die in peace,' Anakin replied simply not caring anymore about forcing Luke to become a Sith. In reality, this train of thought was encouraged by a small, nagging voice that left him feeling confused about the entire matter. It was as though there was a part of him that was uncertain he even wanted their son to become a Sith. Nevertheless, it was an unconscious thought for his mind was consumed with the loss of his beloved and the sorrow this brought him.

The emperor, however, was unfazed and continued as though his apprentice had not spoken. 'We don't have time for delays. If we are to catch the boy off guard and secure his place by my side, we must act quickly.'

Anakin closed his eyes at his Master's words, struggling to keep control of his emotions. The older Sith's callous statement did not go unnoticed and the fallen Jedi felt a new rush of memories return with it.

How often had she looked forward to the hunt? How his beloved relished the rush that came with justified slaughter and the passionate lovemaking that followed in its aftermath! He knew he could not do it anymore. Without her, there was no joy. Without her, there was no peace or solace. She breathed life into him and now that she was gone, he was nothing more than a dying shadow, decaying and drowning in his own despair.

'You don't understand. I can't do this—I can't live without her,' he murmured in barely audible and sorrow-filled tones.

Palpatine frowned having neither the experience to relate to Vader's sorrow, nor the patience to waste anymore time when Skywalker was just within their grasp. Though he knew Vader's time had run out, he still needed him to bring the boy and, as such, knew he had to convince this broken man to fulfil his last task. Afterwards, he could not care less what happened to the once formidable Chosen One.

'This isn't the first time you have made such a proclamation,' Palpatine calmly suggested. 'You once told me you couldn't live without Padmé, yet you managed well enough without her.' He knew Vader could find some other whore to obsess over if he wanted to.

Something within Vader snapped at the statement. Without fully realising his action, in a single fluid movement, he whirled around, grabbing hisMaster by the throat and lifting him off the ground as though he were weightless.

Caught entirely off guard, Palpatine had no time to react and soon found himself watching in concern as the room shook violently while electronics sparked and exploded all around him.

'Dormé is not, and never will be, Padmé! You will not desecrate her memory by such comparisons!' Vader growled in rage and despair. 'She was my queen, my goddess, and my life! Now she is gone and you dare to demand I remain in this hell without her—' He never did complete his thoughts, nor was he able to crush the old Sith Master's throat.

Sidious swiftly unleashed a powerful dark Force lightning attack.

Releasing his grip and flying back, Anakin did not cry out, even as he heard his ribs crack when his body slammed into a far wall. Barely conscious, Anakin saw stars dance behind his eyes and felt the room spin. Unable to fully recover from the blow, he struggled to stand, gulping air as best as his wounded and broken lung would permit.

'Killing me will not bring her back, nor will killing yourself ensure Luke becomes a Sith,' Palpatine concluded. His voice was filled with deadly calm as he studied his apprentice with detached interest.

Vader frowned, preparing to make another attack only to feel the powerful bolts of dark side lightning course through his wounded body once more. It took all of his willpower and pride to keep from crying out as he struggled to remain standing. But even as his thoughts scattered and the rage slipped once more slipped into despair, there lingered a sense of doubt and confusion. It was this that forced him to once more face his Master and attack him once more. It was a losing battle, he knew, and yet he could not stop himself. Though he was not conscious of the true reasons for his actions, the Sith Lord felt incredibly defensive of their son. This too was a truth that only in the end would become clear to him.

In his weakened state, his attacks were easily reflected, leaving him prey to his Master's rage, the results of which led to new scars to replace the old and new wounds that could have been avoided had he not been so determined. In the end, a defeated Vader was forced to stand down.

'You will continue to serve me, Lord Vader. And you will bring the boy to me. There will be no more of this pathetic nonsense, understood?' Sidious stated in cold tones as he towered over the now crumpled and almost limp form of Darth Vader.

Anakin could hear Palpatine's voice, but it sounded hollow and distant. It stung and burned at his thoughts like salt over his broken soul. He did not need to respond for his emotions were clear enough, though he would not have been able to speak if he tried.

Blood flowed freely from his mouth and his breath came out in short, pained gasps. His body burned as though the very flames of Mustafar had touched his flesh once more. Vader tried to block out the pain, to focus his thoughts on anything else, but it was fruitless. Save for Palpatine's gravely voice, there was little to distract him from it.

'Try this again, Lord Vader, and I assure you, you will learn that there are worse things in this life than death.'

Vader could barely register the old Sith Master's words as the pain of his wounds and the sorrow of Dormé's death consumed him. But as his eyes grew heavy and the unconsciousness consumed him, one final thought remained:

___You cannot kill what is already dead, nor can you can you break what is already broken._


	20. Trying to Reach a Sith Lord's Heart

_I'd love to touch the sky tonight  
I'd love to touch the sky  
So take me in your arms  
And lift me like a child  
And hold me up so high  
And never let me go  
Take me  
Take me in your arms tonight... _

Rain. The symbol of fear, the symbol of life and death, but most importantly, it was the symbol of _her._ She was gone now, yet in the rain, Vader could almost _feel_ her, which was why he found himself frozen in mid-step like a towering ebony statue amidst the downpour. Though rain drenched his cape and poured off his armour he couldn't bring himself to move. For despite the mask the covered his scarred features Anakin could swear that he could smell her perfume; crushed rain soaked flowers. Originally he had come here to destroy the lakehouse on Delaya, to burn away the painful memories of this place. However, after many months of evading the matter and dodging the issue he decided it was now or never. Yet now as he stood before the palace like building the dark lord couldn't quite bring himself to destroy what had been their sanctuary for the past twenty years. To do so would be blasphemous to her memory and the memory of their years together. For unlike his memories of Padmé—now long forgotten and faded away like the ashes that was once her home on Naboo—Dormé was meant to be cherished and remembered. It was because of this, Vader realised, that he could never destroy or return to the chambers they once shared on _The Executor_. It was why he slept in the room he had prepared originally for Luke.

Dormé's spirit coalesced, wondering why she followed Vader here. She observed his tall frame pause mid-step, allowing the rain to drench his cloak and armour. It was as if he was immobilized by some unseen force and in her transparent form, she tried reaching for him again as she so often did since the Force granted her this opportunity to return, to try to save him from the dark side so that he would be able to join her in the realms of Harmony. She herself had not returned to Delaya since her death and knew not why he should return to this place. The last thing she wanted was for him to be consumed with sorrow and pain over her death. She thought perhaps this would be part of the grieving process, that perhaps he would destroy the lakehouse in order to let go of the past. Even so, she could not help feeling remorseful about their sanctuary being destroyed. It held so many good memories, two decades worth, away from their duties, away from the Empire. If it would help to burn it down, then she would support this. She did not know that he had other things in mind. 

Being here on Delaya was both painful and contrastingly soothing, for Vader. Though he couldn't see her, or even sense the mildest shift in the Force—anything that might hint at her presence—Dormé just _felt_ near. The thought made his heart ache and brought tears to his eyes. 'I…miss you…' he breathed softly, hardly noticing how his vocabulator warped his voice into a growl or the fact his words were immediately carried away with the blustering wind. Though he believed he was speaking to no one, imagining that she was near and could hear him helped ease a little of the crushing sorrow that weighed heavy on his heart. It wasn't the first time he thought he could sense her presence, make out her shadow in a mirror's reflection, or see her face in a crowd. Though he often chastised himself for being so weak, at times, it was this wishful thinking that kept him from completely succumbing to his despair.

From the in-between worlds, Dormé followed him, haunted him, in an effort to make some sort of contact with him. She needed so desperately to have him open his eyes, to see the error of their ways so that they could be together for eternity, yet every effort failed. She didn't know that his grief, despair, and guilt overpowered her attempts to communicate with him. Had she been Force sensitive in her life, she would have been better at manipulating the real world to at least reveal herself to him. As she had not been Force sensitive, she did whatever she could. '_I…miss you'_ she heard him say and this brought tears to her eyes as well.

This day was no different and through the torrential downpour, Anakin could almost hear the musical sound of her laughter. He could visualize the silhouette of his queen's shadow amongst the trees that encompassed the palatial building. Through the bustling wind, he could almost hear her calling his name, inviting him to join her. If only he could.

'Anakin!' she called, thinking that since he was addressing her that he might sense her presence. She reached to touch his right hand, but her left hand went straight through him. 'Look at me,' she beckoned. 'I want you to see me, so you can come with me…'

Drawing out of his statuesque pose, Vader moved forward in the direction he believed the phantom Dormé went. Deep down, he knew better, but his heart was desperate to embrace this dream and wouldn't listen to reason. As his heavy footsteps fell to the ground, only silence greeted his longing ears. This continued for some time until finally Anakin found himself approaching the grand mausoleum built in her honour. It was only then that he was faced with the truth once more. The opulent building, much like the lakehouse, stood out against the lush surroundings that were now almost lifeless due to the coming winter season. Though Vader was hardly a man who sought the meaning of metaphors and symbolism, the sight before him was too familiar not to appreciate. It was easy to close his eyes and imagine that it was the summer season and that Dormé was just wandering off to the lake nearby to enjoy a swim in the rain. A hint of a smile crept onto his scarred features as he could also envision her laughing and dancing as she washed her hair in the storm. Though he clung onto the past memories, reality soon began to pull his thoughts to the present, causing his heart to shatter anew.

She remained at his side, wishing she had more power over the living world if only to make some contact with her beloved. He led her to a grand mausoleum which she soon came to find out was erected in her honour. Though her body had been cremated and the ashes scattered into the lake nearby, this place, it seemed, was now like a temple to her as though she were a goddess. Seeing through the mask he wore, Dormé saw a sad smile on his scarred face, having a feeling he was reminiscing about happier times. It was a brief reprise in his despair, but did not go unaccounted for.

Ever since the completion of Dormé's temple, Anakin couldn't bring himself to visit it. It was just too painful, for in this place, there was no denying the truth. Yet on this day, the broken Sith lord found himself unable to part ways with the shrine he had created to honour the memory of his goddess. Almost shyly, he approached the large handcrafted doors before touching the Force to open them. However, nothing of her physical body rested here—because her body had been cremated and the ashes had been scattered in the lake nearby, Anakin felt as though a piece of her still remained here. Everything about this place bore an aura of her presence. Using the Force once more, Vader illuminated the crimson red candles that decorated the vast room before studying the chamber in silence. In the centre of the wall, furthest from him, stood a beautiful and extremely lifelike painting of Dormé in her favourite red gown, the very gown she wore when he first professed his love for her. On either side of the painting were two waterfalls that peacefully trickled down the black marble wall before streaming through the specially designed, glass-covered cracks within the marbled floor. Water had always been symbolic of his queen and so Vader ensured that even here, it would be ever-present, much like the red water-flowers known as idaceae which bloomed in abundance at the base of the waterfalls. These flowers filled the room with the all-too-familiar scent Anakin always associated with Dormé.

The inside of the mausoleum was gorgeous and though Dormé no longer had use for breath, she was in awe of this gesture. The scarlet candles he illuminated with the Force cast a warm light in the chamber, reflecting on the black marble walls and sparkled through the two small waterfalls. Taking advantage of the fact that her resting place was specifically designed for his broken but still remaining lung, Anakin removed his cumbersome helmet. Closing his eyes, he breathed in the soft perfume before quietly approaching the circle of stones that stood before the painting. This too was a tradition, one that most, if not all Tatooine natives tended to follow. Upon reaching the circle of stones, the Sith lord dropped to his knees and bowed in silent reverence to the painting of his beloved. Though she was not here in the physical sense of the word, Anakin for a moment allowed himself to believe that she was. Closing his eyes, Vader furrowed his brow as he struggled with his thoughts and emotions. There was so much he wanted to tell her, _needed_ to tell her, but he didn't know where to begin.

While the galaxy feared and dreaded his ominous presence, to Dormé, the great Sith lord known as Darth Vader was nothing more than a regular human being, a mortal, with strengths and flaws just like anyone else. To Anakin, the former handmaiden was his beloved, the other half of his soul, the only one who truly completed him. But with her passing, she had become something else entirely: a goddess of peace. Now in her resting place, Vader felt as though he were a mere mortal who had entered the temple of a deity whom he sought audience with. Just being here was overwhelming and it wasn't long before the fallen Jedi succumbed to his tears. It was the first time since her passing that he was able to properly mourn her without shame or guilt. It was only in this place that he could find solace from the raging storm of doubts and confusion that seemed to edge his every thought. It was only here that he didn't have to hide his emotions from himself and from the rest of the galaxy. Here, Vader was just Anakin. Anakin was nothing more than a man mourning the loss of his beloved wife.

When he grieved, allowing tears to flow without reservation, Dormé moved to stand before him, placing her hands on his shoulders as she leant over to kiss his pale, naked head. Even if he couldn't register this gesture, she was compelled to do this, as though blessing him.

Even when his tears subsided and his body exhausted from the sobbing, the Sith lord remained. Never before had he felt closer to Dormé since her passing than he did now in this place. For this reason alone, the words he initially couldn't utter aloud finally returned to him. Though shy at first and chastising himself for _talking to himself_, Anakin began to speak. With his eyes still closed—for it was easier to imagine she was near this way—the former Jedi apologized through renewed tears for not saving her, for letting his selfishness come between them and ultimately bringing about her demise.

When he began to speak of the past, she slid next to where he knelt, wrapping her arms around his torso. Some of the memories caused her to laugh, while others were of far more serious nature. How she had missed his voice, for when he spoke to anyone else, it was different than how he spoke to her, as though their hearts were conversing. She felt the walls coming down and hoped that soon, she would be able to speak to him, so that he could hear what he needed to.

But as his thoughts began to shift Vader couldn't help but shyly ask if she was happy where she was now. If the realm of harmony was as perfect as she once described it to him. Of course, there came no literal reply, but the Sith lord hoped that it was and said so in equally quiet tones. Continuing on, he spoke of their son, Luke, and his continued search for him. 'This time,' he explained, 'I have no intention of surviving our next encounter.' He then further explained in humble tones that if it was their son who delivered the killing stroke that sealed his fate, her passing could be avenged in some small way.

Not of all of his one-sided discussion was filled with sorrow or talk of vengeance. In fact, most was recalling the past and how he looked forward to seeing her smile and feeling her hair between his fingers. 'It is the little things I find myself missing as of late, the things that I used to take for granted,' he admitted sadly.

As much as she wanted this moment to last, she felt he was growing tired, out of pure exhaustion, both psychically and mentally. She asked the Force to help her give him peace so that, at least temporarily, he would be able to rest.

The one-sided conversation continued for hours, but felt like mere minutes to the Sith lord who eventually found himself leaning against the marble wall to his left. Though he was loathed to admit it, the hour was growing late and he was quite emotionally and physically exhausted. Sleep had long since become a thing of the past, for without Dormé resting in his arms, Vader could never truly know rest. But in this place—where time ceased to be and phantoms of the past moved freely—the Sith lord, despite his best intentions, fell prey to its peaceful charm and eventually drifted off to sleep.

She kissed his cheek as best she could and watched him as he drifted to sleep. ,I will always be with you, my love.'

It was the first and only time that Anakin knew peace since Dormé's death.

* * *

Once on Endor, Luke knew he could not stay with the group because Vader knew he was there. Vader could sense him and his location. He knew his father would be able to track him and thus endanger the entire group. The narrow escapes from the stormtroopers upon their arrival were enough. For some reason, it was then that his thoughts drifted to Lady Vader. It had been sometime since he last thought of her, but she had haunted his dreams. Luke was not sure, but it felt like it was a prophetic dream, though when he woke up, he barely recalled the contents of the dream. There were only a few things he continually recalled with crystal clarity, mostly recollections of his time in the cell on Gall.

Leaving the party, Luke stood on the balcony, just thinking for a moment, knowing he would have to confront Vader once more. When he first sensed Vader on their way here, he knew Vader would come to Endor. Now Luke sensed he had landed and would without a doubt seek him out. There was no use in evading it. But if he went to confront him, at least then he would be able to save his friends and their mission would succeed.

His thoughts returned to Lady Vader and what she said to him about his father.

'_So you didn't come here to kill me?'_

_'Why would I harm you, Luke? What your father did was a mistake. I spoke to him about that—we truly want what is best for you. We want to protect you and love you. We want you to be happy, that's all, I promise.'_

When he closed his eyes, he saw her kind eyes, the honesty, and lingering sadness at his refusal to go with her. Luke knew he was right, that he was not meant to follow that dark path, but there was something about that woman…

_ 'I would be happier if you let me out of here so I can find my friend which my father so graciously froze in carbonite and gave to some bounty hunter.'_

He watched as she stood, straightening her cloak and nodding slowly. She placed her hands on either side of his head before standing on the balls of her feet to kiss his forehead. She then touched his cheek, looking at him in an odd way. He felt her sorrow plainly as she departed. It almost made him regret his words and refusal to join her. 

What was it about that woman that made him think she was his mother? He knew she was not, because she had said as much herself, but there was something… Before he had a chance to think on it further, he felt Leia's approaching Force signature.

'Luke, what's wrong?' she asked, wandering closer to him.

Luke spun around. 'Leia…Do you remember your mother? Your real mother?'

'Just a little bit. She died when I was very young…'

'What do you remember?''

'Just images, really,' Leia replied with a shrug. 'Feelings.'

'Tell me,' he prompted.

'She was very beautiful…kind, but sad…' Leia studied him curiously. 'Why are you asking me this?'

Before Luke had a chance to consider just how much this sounded like Lady Vader, Leia wanted to know why he was asking. 'I have no memory of my mother. I never knew her.'

'Luke, tell me. What's troubling you?' She was concerned for her friend and hoped there was some way she could help him.

This drew Luke's thoughts to the mysterious Lady Vader's words about how much his father loved him, how he wanted them to be a family more than anything. If this were all true, certainly… He then recalled their meeting on Bespin and how reluctant Vader had been to even draw his lightsaber. It was only now, in retrospect, that he realised just how right Lady Vader was. This love was of the good side, it had to be… He knew that Vader, _their_ father, would not kill him. Luke was confident that their father would not turn him over to the Emperor. He loved him. He would not do it. He would not let Luke become a Sith like him. Luke also knew he needed to tell Leia the truth. 'Vader's here,' he confessed, 'now, on this moon.'

'How do you know?' she queried.

'I've felt his presence. He's come for me. He can feel when I'm near. That's why I have to go. As long as I stay, I'm endangering the group and our mission. I have to face him.'

'Why?'

Luke could not meet her eyes for a moment. 'He's my father.'

'Your _father_?' she repeated with disgust evident in her tone.

'There's more. It won't be easy to hear, but you must. If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for the Alliance.'

Luke was sounding scary and she was beginning to become anxious herself. 'Luke, don't talk that way! You have a power I don't understand and could never have.'

'You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time, you'll learn to use it as I have. The Force is strong in my family. My father has it, I have, and…my _sister_ has it. Yes, Leia, it's you.'

Though she was wide-eyes with the revelation, it felt _right_ to her. 'I know,' she finally admitted. 'Somehow, I've always know.'

Luke nodded slowly. 'Now you know why I have to face him.'

'No, Luke, run away! Run far away. If he can feel your presence, then leave this place. I wish I could go with you.' She could sense he wasn't going to listen to her, but had to try.

'No, you don't,' Luke said, shaking his head. 'You've always been strong.'

Tears came to Leia's eyes as she asked, 'But why must you confront him?'

'Because there is good in him. I've felt it. He won't turn me over to the Emperor. I can save him. I can turn him back to the good side. I have to try.'

After speaking with Leia, despite her aversion to the revelation that Vader was their father, Luke headed to the Imperial outpost and surrendered to the stormtroopers. He heard Lady Vader's voice once more, telling him his father was also a victim.

'_Luke, whatever you might have heard about him, he has suffered so much, we both have. When I tell you he is a good man—that he has always wanted the best for you—you must believe me.'_

And hadn't Ben even confessed to him that the truth depended on a person's point of view? What if they were both right?

* * *

_I wonder if your feelings on this matter are clear Lord Vader?_

His Master's simple question continued to weigh heavily on his thoughts, leaving him wondering much the same thing himself. However, the more he considered it, the more determined it left him feeling. He knew this had to be done. It was the only way. Yet there was still a small part of him that had doubts, a part of him that wasn't entirely certain he wanted to go through with this. It wasn't that he was afraid of death -for in reality he was already dead- rather it was his concern over their son. Luke was young and so pure hearted far too innocent in Anakin's opinion to fall prey to his Master's influence. But even this made little sense to him for who else would he want to train their son to follow the path of the Sith? At one time, he wouldn't have let anyone train Luke but himself, however with Dormé's passing, Vader had lost the will to live. In reality, when he had learnt from Darth Sidious that Luke would seek him out, Anakin wanted to sigh in relief. It would seem for the first time since his beloved's death, the Force had once more decided to show mercy on him. It wouldn't be the first time, but the dark lord would make sure that it would be the last. He had no intention of surviving this meeting with his son, and yet part of him feared the prospect as well.

What would happen to Luke if he were to be left in the Emperor's care? Though the boy was learned in the ways of the Jedi—as weak as they were—he lacked the experience and wisdom that only came from battle. Would his master show the same patience with their son as was once shown to him? Somehow, Anakin doubted it. For while he at one time foolishly served the light, Anakin had never been what one would call a pure heart. That title was far more suited for his former master and late mentor. Such thoughts no longer encouraged the familiar feelings of hatred for the Sith lord. In fact, had the darkness not blinded him to even his own emotions, Anakin would have recognised the regret now felt and the deep-rooted sorrow, just as he would have realized the concern he held for Luke wasn't about the boy's safety alone, rather his wish to protect him from his fate.

While this truth evaded him the fact that Palpatine would have no tolerance for Luke's innocence did not. His Master would not only break the boy, he would crush Luke. This was hardly the sort of future he wanted for their son and once more, it reminded him of their wishes to raise their son together, to give him the great legacy that was the Empire…to fulfil his destiny as one of the finest Sith lords to walk the stars and an even greater emperor. Anakin himself never bore such dreams of leadership, though at times he considered it out of amusement, but for Luke, he would have given him the universe in a heartbeat, just as he would have given it to Dormé had she asked. But his goddess never demanded anything that he couldn't freely give and this was just one of many reasons he loved her. She gave him so much and without hesitancy. In the end, the only thing he truly gave her was death.

It was with this in mind that Vader's thoughts once more returned to the present as he moved in silence through the compound's sterile hallway. Though memory of her tore at his heart, it also filled him with new determination. He knew his time was drawing to a close and though he was more than aware of the fact he was hardly worthy of an honourable death Anakin couldn't think of a more just way to die than by their son's hand. After all it was only fair; for it was his selfish actions that cost Luke his mother -his true mother- and his dearest beloved. Just as it was his weakness that utterly ruined things between their son and Dormé. He was the rift that had kept his family apart all this time, he knew that now, and knew without question that he had to perish because of it.

It was because of this that Anakin was even able to continue with his final mission. He would present their son to his Master and in turn Luke would present him to his goddess who even now held his soul beyond the veil. A greater act of justice the broken Sith lord couldn't imagine and yet the lingering doubts remained like a phantom limb that still ached. However with the powerful beacon that was their son's Force signature—so vibrant and bright as once was his own—rapidly nearing Vader thoughts were forced to the immediate present.

Clearing his thoughts and masking his emotions, Vader departed from the compound and proceeded along the ledge that overlooked the vast forest that was far too much like Delaya for his liking. Almost as soon as he approached the doors leading to the compound's central security, Anakin found himself once more in the presence of one of his commanders and most importantly their son.

'This is a rebel that surrendered to us,' the Imperial commander relayed to Lord Vader. 'Although he denies it, I believe there may be more of them and I request permission to conduct a further search of the area. He was armed only with this.' He handed over the lightsaber

The middle-aged man spoke in crisp tones relaying his findings and speculations to him as if Vader really cared anymore. All he wanted was for the man and the stormtroopers to leave. This was after all to be his final moments with his son, or so he believed, to which they could speak candidly without interruption. The dark lord could only hope that Force willing this time their conversation would bear more fruit than his last attempt.

As the doors hissed, parting as Luke was escorted in handcuffs toward Vader, Luke sensed it. Luke sensed that good in Vader that was like a faint aroma. It was like a soft scent of flowers in a stale, cold room.

_My dearest Dormé, please grant me the courage and strength to do what must be done and the clarity to end this properly. I am so nervous, my love. I don't want our son's last memories of me to be that of Bespin..._

While Anakin was hardly a man who prayed, ever since Dormé's death he found that speaking to her in a fashion that resembled prayer helped him through the worst of times. For though she was beyond the veil, Vader secretly clung to the hope that his goddess still watched over him and at times would give him strength and courage. It was this silent faith that ultimately kept him from utterly destroying himself the first chance he had. For it was this moment that he now lived for, the last and final chance to undo the damage done and to final bring some small justice to his beloved's death.

From the in-between worlds, Dormé strove to reach her beloved, but even trying to do so in his unconscious mind was met with resisting thick mists of the subconscious, preventing her from reaching him. If at any time in her life she wanted Force abilities, she had never so desired them as she did now. She had no idea how long she had been dead, but it felt like an eternity since she had last held her beloved. She could see him, but he could not see her. When she screamed and yelled to try to gain his attention, he could not hear her. Every night he returned to their quarters, sleeping in the room he had prepared for Luke instead of their marriage bed. He did not respond to her translucent kisses and embraces no matter how desperately she wanted him to. But today...today he spoke Luke's name and hope rose within her that this somehow would allow her to reach him. She needed him to. He could not join her if he did not and she was a stubborn woman.

Only when the commander fell briefly silent did the Sith lord return his attentions to him once more. The man promptly then continued before offering the finely crafted lightsaber to Anakin who readily accepted it. Having long since grown tired of the inferior officer's ramblings the fallen Jedi congratulated him before ordering him to leave. However sensing the commander's questioning thoughts he promptly added instructions to have Luke's comrades collected and brought to him. Though in reality he couldn't care less anymore, he didn't want to act in a fashion that would encourage further suspicion. The last thing he wanted or desired was for his Master to learn of his plans and try to interfere as a means of further torturing him under the guise of a lesson. 'The emperor has been expecting you,' Anakin began finding courage where there was none before along with a soothing calm that came with an answered prayer. Little did he realize his beloved queen was far closer to him and far more watchful than he could have imagined.

As the doors parted and Vader approached, Luke could not help losing himself in thought instead of paying attention to the Imperial solider who arrested him. Neither was he very aware that the commander held his lightsaber until it found its way into his father's hand. There was something, that elusive goodness, which occupied Luke's senses. He could save Vader. He just needed to find out how to isolate that part of him, to bring him back to the light side of the Force. They would overthrow the Emperor and bring peace to the galaxy. It was not until Vader spoke that Luke's thoughts returned to the present. 'Yes, Father,' he replied.

How long had he dreamed to hear his son speak the title he longed to bear! But as the young Jedi called him Father Anakin's thoughts immediately turned to his mother. How Dormé would have loved to been a part of this moment, to stand by their son's side and be accepted as his mother. The thought made his heart ache and yet gave him a new sense of courage once again. He would not ruin this moment; he would honour her memory and her passing by doing all he could to ensure their final moments together would end as it should. 'So, you have accepted the truth,' Vader concluded in calmly unable to deny the fact he was humbled by the fact that their son held no bitterness towards him despite the events that had transpired between them before. However while he was humbled there was another emotion buried deep within that nagged at his thoughts begging to be recognized and seen for what it was; shame. But while this was missed, the subtle confusion was not, and Anakin found himself once more torn at his final mission which was to present Luke to his Master, to ensure the boy followed his footsteps and fulfilled his destiny as a servant of the Dark Side.

Though Vader seemed to hide his emotions through the veil of the dark side, Luke could sense the relief and slightly blurred but evident confusion. Luke, however, was unable to tell in what context this confusion was coming from. Deciding to play on that, he said, 'I've accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father.' His voice was just as calm and matter-of-fact as his father's was. He hoped this would prompt his father to want to be that man again, in the light side.

Luke's words sent the Sith lord's thoughts spiralling out of control with memories and emotions. Instinctively he stepped back to put some distance between himself and the boy in the need to clear his thoughts. But it did little to help and soon he could almost hear Dormé speak his name; her voice so filled with love. What he would give to hear his goddess speak his name once more! But she was gone now, taking with her the most important parts of him, leaving in her place a broken shell that was once a man. 'That name no longer has any meaning for me,' Darth Vader stated sharply while forcing himself to bury the memory of his beloved's voice lest he succumb to his sorrow before their very son. He could feel the boy's desperate hope and couldn't help but notice how similar in some ways they were, both clinging onto dreams of the past that would never be. Yet, Luke was also so much like Dormé… This too added to his confusion, along with his need to protect the boy from his Master and the doubts that lingered pertaining to Luke's destiny as a Sith lord. Save for his beloved, never had Anakin seen such faith and compassion displayed towards him. It was as unsettling as it was unnerving.

_Dormé, he is so much like you, my love. How I wish you could be here right now, to witness this, to see our son once more._ His thoughts filled with despair and self hatred, as he knew he had only himself to blame for her passing, for his pain. _My dearest Dormé, please help me. I know what I must do, but I am scared for him and I am so uncertain... _

When Vader stopped short, Luke paused as well, turning to look at him. 'It's the name of your true self you've only forgotten,' Luke replied confidently. 'I _know_ there is good in you. The emperor hasn't driven it from you fully.' For some reason, it was only now that Luke realised the truth. That love Vader held for him prevented Luke's demise all this time. It was for this reason that he had escaped from the Imperial troops and bounty hunters. But Luke was unaware how warped this love became, until his meeting with Lady Vader: their desires for him to become a Sith. During his last meeting with Ben, he had been encouraged to kill his own father, but Luke knew there was hope for Vader.

Taking the liberty, he faced away from Vader, taking a few steps from him to rest his bound hands on the railing. 'That was why you couldn't destroy me. That's why you won't bring me to your emperor now.' _There is good in you, Father. I know. I've felt it. You have to embrace it. You must come with me. I don't want to have to destroy you as Ben told me to..._

Dormé listened to them, though their voices sounded like whispers echoing in a large room. But she could _feel_ Anakin's emotions as though she was a Force sensitive. 'Oh Anakin, my love... Listen to our son... Listen... Anakin...'

Luke continued to plead with him as though hoping his powerful words would enable Anakin to turn his back from a lifetime spent serving the dark mistress. However, what Darth Vader heard wasn't gentle encouragement, but a reminder of his failures. A distant part of him wanted to believe their son's words, to find hope in the boy's compassion and faith but in the end only despair and confusion lingered. _Surely Luke, you know that it wasn't the Emperor who drove the last bit of good from me. I did it to myself through the death of Dormé. **She** is the _good_ you seek, the _light_ you so badly wish for me to embrace. But she is gone now and while I live, never again will I know peace,_ he thought to himself miserably as the struggle within continued.

Closing his eyes, Vader tried to clear his thoughts, to ignore the despair, to ignore the memories that flooded his mind. But most importantly to forget the soft whisper that echoed in his thoughts the one that sounded so real it were as though Dormé were right there speaking in his ear. He knew it wasn't real, just he believed the soft scent of rain crushed flowers that teased his senses was only his imagination as well. _She's gone,_ he reminded himself _and soon I will be too. Just a little longer and then all of this will be over._ But despite his attempts to ignore the soft whisper or the effect Luke's words had, Anakin couldn't deny the fact the shame he felt was real, just as he couldn't deny the confusion that seemed to be growing worse by the minute.

Desperate to clear his thoughts of the confusion—which in reality was the truth piercing its way through the darkness that blinded him—Anakin furrowed his brow and tried once more to wrap the darkness around him. However, the harder he tried, the more difficult it seemed. Somehow, the cloak of the dark side was no longer enough to shroud his thoughts or give him the solace he sought. It left him feeling more vulnerable than ever before. Not wanting his son to bear witness to this struggle, he instead focussed all of his thoughts on the lightsaber that now rested in his gloved hands. Turning it over, he examined the details with the sharp eyes of a Master. The design was simple, but well crafted marking the boy's training had reached its completion.

_Obi-Wan would have been proud,_ a soft voice in the back of his mind whispered causing Anakin to bristle in shame. It should have been him, not his former mentor who raised and trained Luke. Instinctively he activated the lightsaber and saw Luke stiffen so slightly it would have been missed had he not sensed the boy's emotions through the Force. There was no fear felt there, just silent determination, compassion and immense faith. A hint of a sad smile graced the Sith lord's lips as he examined the blade. It was perfect and without flaw, a finer crafted lightsaber he couldn't have designed if he tried. Though he was still overwhelmed by the despair of his thoughts and plagued by doubts of what he knew had to be done Anakin couldn't ignore the rush of pride felt in that moment.

When Vader ignited Luke's lightsaber, Luke slowly turned his head to see the hissing green blade. He wasn't concerned that his father would use the blade against him, nor was he afraid of losing any other limbs. Vader's words reinforced this assumption.

'I see you have constructed a new lightsaber. Your skills are complete. Indeed you are as powerful as the Emperor has foreseen,' he stated in proud tones. Though he meant what he said the Sith lord was uncomfortable with the topic at hand and was eager to guide the discussion to more comfortable matters.

Luke did his best not to sigh at the attempt to change the topic of conversation. It was an avoidance tactic. He knew it was difficult; he could feel it. Slowly, he turned to face his father, who was now facing away from him. 'Come with me,' he resolutely implored him.

Now it was his turn to turn his back, though it was for reasons simpler than trust and far deeper than despair. For reasons unknown, he didn't want the boy to see him this way or rather feel the confusion that was flooding his thoughts. His thoughts were beginning to clear and reveal themselves and with it the confusion was only growing worse. Luke's blind faith and compassion was doing little to help this state of mind just as was the soft whisper that sounded so much like Dormé but _wasn't_. Despite his attempts to cover his thoughts or at the very least bury the unsettling doubts Luke saw right through it and was once more asking him to leave. Had his thoughts not been pulled into so many different directions, Anakin would have remembered that Luke wasn't the first person to make such a request. But then he would have also remembered that turning down the offer proved to be the greatest decision he had ever made in his life. For with Padmé's passing came the arrival of a far more important woman who proceeded to change his life forever.

Closing his eyes briefly, he once again tried to ignore the silent nagging, the powerful sense of doubt and even more poignant desire to give in to the boy,s wishful thinking. If not for anything than to at least prove to the young Jedi that his faith in his father hadn't been misplaced. But he believed he knew better and it was because of this that found himself once more drawing the darkness around him. It was only because of this that he was able to have the courage to face their son once more.

'Obi-Wan once thought as you do,' he began as he found himself reminded of his former Master's influence on their son. It was only then that he realized that Obi-Wan's memory no longer filled him with blind rage or hatred. Instead, it left him feeling worn and tired, like a soldier who had spent too much time on the frontlines. 'You don't know the power of the dark side,' he continued in more resolute tones as though trying to convince himself as much as their son that his fate was already sealed. But this statement was weak even to his own ears and in almost pleading tones Vader then added, 'I must obey my Master.' Though he knew Luke's mind was made up, he was desperate to make the boy understand the reality of the situation and the fact it was too late for him now. Without Dormé, life had lost all meaning to him and it would be only through death that Anakin would once more find peace.

Luke was unaware of the affect he was having on his father. Had he known his birth mother used this tactic and failed miserably, he wouldn't have given it a shot, at least not in this fashion. When he spoke of Obi-Wan, Luke withheld a despondent sigh. He missed his mentor terribly, just as he missed Master Yoda. He was still, on some level, yearning for further mentoring, further training, and his father's love and approval, but ultimately, deep down, Luke knew he had completed his training in the light side. He knew this confrontation would be his final test before becoming a Jedi Knight. He was well aware of what his father was capable of, but he had faith in him that he would rather kill Luke than have him train as a Sith. 'I will not turn,' Luke maintained, 'and you'll be forced to kill me.' _You don't want to do this; I know you don't. _

Deep down he knew that Luke would not turn, but hearing the young Jedi confirm what he already knew proved to be harder to take than Vader would have liked. Buried deep within his unconsciousness there was a part of him that was proud of the boy's strength. But it was the boy's final statement that truly left its mark on the Sith lord's spirit. He knew just as Luke did that he would not kill the boy. Even if his Master ordered to him it would not happen and the emperor would have to kill him first. But it was the fact that Sidious would have no qualms about killing Luke that sent his thoughts spiralling out of control once more. Though he knew that Luke was strong enough to hold his own he also knew that his Master was incredibly powerful—even more so or so he believed than himself. If he was destroyed who would be there to protect their son?

He also knew that Luke was trying a different approach, a different way to reach him. The thought would have made him smile had it been at any other time, but right now it just left him feeling all the more confused and torn. So deciding to go along with Luke's attempts to reach him Anakin broke the silence with a cryptic reply of his own. 'If that is your destiny,' he concluded neither confirming nor doubting Luke's statement or rather the meaning hidden within it.

Luke sensed the uncertainty, just as much as the struggle enhanced that elusive goodness that now seemed to gather around him like an embrace. 'Search your feelings, Father!' he implored him. 'You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate!' Luke thought it was the long-time hatred Vader had for the Jedi, not that it was that he was already dead inside due to the death of his wife. He had no idea that Lady Vader had died. He didn't understand why it seemed just as he was getting somewhere, _reaching_ his father, Vader seemed to be slipping further away.

Anakin closed his eyes at Luke's imploring words and gave an inward sigh of despair. While the boy's faith and compassion in him was commendable why couldn't he see that it was just too late? Surely he had to understand that he was beyond saving, that he didn't _want_ to be saved. Deciding that this conversation was going nowhere, and that despite his desire to mend things with Luke it was now just a fruitless cause, the dark lord gave up his attempts to continue the discussion further. 'It is too late for me, Son,' he explained in weary tones before motioning to the guards to return. 'The emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now,' he concluded as he forced himself to bury his doubt and sorrow, so that only thoughts of his final mission remained. However, this too was a lost cause and though he couldn't ignore his wish to protect his son from the emperor, he also couldn't deny the fact it was too late now for such thoughts. _I'm sorry Luke, I wish I could be the father you always wanted but I am not that man -I don't think I ever was. _

It hit Luke like a cold shower. It wasn't that his father couldn't be saved. It was that Vader didn't _want_ to be. Luke didn't understand. This epiphany caused him to feel incredibly sad and disappointed. The stormtroopers arrived to escort him up to the Imperial Super Star Destroyer. Shaking his head, he admitted, 'Then my father is truly dead,' though Luke retained the hope that this would not be the end.

Vader couldn't ignore the sorrow and disappointment felt from the young Jedi before him and this too tore at his thoughts. It seemed to him the more he wanted to mend things between Luke and himself the worse he made matters. He wanted to apologise for his actions of before, to explain that he never wanted to hurt him back on Bespin that he only wanted to become the father the boy so rightfully deserved, but the words never came.

So instead he watched as the stormtrooper arrived to escort their son to the Star Destroyer which would take them to his Master. As much as he knew this was necessary Anakin couldn't help but feel reluctant to let his son depart from him. Despite his wish for death and his deep rooted desire to die by the hands of their son Vader was protective of the boy. What was even more potent was his unconscious desire to earn their son's approval. While the true reason for this evaded him it made Luke's parting words all the more painful to bear. He knew the young Jedi's words to be true—for he had died with Dormé's passing- but hearing it aloud and from their son hurt more than he cared to admit.

He didn't bother to respond for what more could he possibly say? So instead he remained silent and watched as Luke was escorted away. Not once did his gaze depart from the young Jedi who reminded him so much of himself and all he could have been had he been a stronger man. It was all he could to do keep from falling prey to his emotions and despair.

Only when he found himself alone once more was he able to move to the ledge and rest his gloved hands against the railing. With a deep sigh he furrowed his brow and closed his eyes as he struggled against the overwhelming sorrow and doubt felt. Never in his life had he ever felt so torn or divided over something that had been so black and white to him for so long. However, despite the fact that this time it was the light tempting him, Vader felt no less frightened by it. Drawing in a sharp breath his eyes snapped open once more causing him to stare ahead to the jungle like forest that now seemed to be closing in on him.

_Dormé, I am so afraid. I feel so torn, so lost and I don't know why...Please guard our son, because I don't know if I am strong enough to do it anymore._

It was apparent that Anakin couldn't hear her nor feel her presence, but it didn't stop her from wrapping her arms around him. 'You are strong enough, my love. You are strong enough...' she murmured.

Alone with his thoughts the fallen Jedi struggled with his despair and the memory of his beloved to whom he longed for desperately. If he had felt alone and vulnerable before it was nothing in comparison to how he felt now. Letting his eyes flicker to the scenery around him Anakin tried not to think of how much this forest reminded him of the nightmares that plagued his rest, just as he tried not to think of how much this place reminded him of Delaya or of her.

Though Dormé was unable to truly touch him, she felt herself warm wherever she attempted to make contact with him. She could reach through the mask and caress his cheek. Where she was, there was no armour either.

But as his broken thoughts wandered and longed for a past that would never return, the Sith lord felt a strange warmth wrap around him. He _knew_ it was just his imagination playing tricks on him—just as upon occasion he could almost imagine seeing a hint of her shadow in the reflection of the windows of his destroyer or smell the scent of water soaked flowers. But despite the fact it shamed him to think that he had become so desperate that he was imagining Dormé's presence, it didn't stop him from just surrendering to it, even for just a little while.

She had tried earlier to speak to Luke, but she was not able to. She wasn't bound to him as she was with Anakin. She hated seeing him like this and being helpless to do anything to aid him. As she so often did during their decades together, she rested her head against his chest, holding him. 'Don't be afraid...I'm here, Anakin...'

Closing his eyes Darth Vader breathed in deeply and _imagined_ the soft scent of rain soaked flowers was not a trick of his mind or the warmth he felt on his cheek was just a figment of his imagination. For a moment he could almost _hear_ her whispering in her accented voice the words he would give anything to hear again._ 'I'm here, Anakin...'_ He bit his lip as in his mind he imagined Dormé really was with him. That the warmth felt on his chest was her head resting against his skin and her arms wrapped around him as she held him close. 'I...miss you...' he whispered to the night air imagining that she could hear his words and would understand all he couldn't say. In the end, he _knew_ it was nothing more than his imagination and the thought caused his heart to ache all the more. Tightening his grip against the railing, Anakin forced himself back to reality and swiftly blinked back the tears that were collecting in his eyes.

Dormé thought for a brief moment that she had reached him when he closed his eyes and even more so when he whispered aloud that he missed her. Her eyes welled with tears, but just as swiftly as the chance came, it was gone. It was silent, but she sensed the darkness coming over him once more and her ability to make contact departed.

_Now was not the time for such sentiments,_ he reminded himself in annoyance as he forced his thoughts onto the present and his final mission while trying to ignore the rush of confused thoughts and doubts this encouraged. It was only when he reminded himself that it would be this final mission that would return him home, to her arms, that Vader found the strength to bury his thoughts and depart to his destroyer once more. Drawing the darkness around him the Sith lord was barely able to regain some semblance of control over his thoughts and the doubts it bred. Nevertheless, despite this the confusion still lingered like an undercurrent that could not be controlled. What Anakin didn't know was that the transition had already begun and no matter how hard he would fight, it was far too late to turn back.

Vader's annoyed remark was bitter and made Dormé's heart ache, but it didn't stop her from following him to the star destroyer in an effort to try once more. 


	21. Purgation and Redemption

_You sinned with me a pleasant sin:  
Repent with me, for I repent.  
Woe's me the lore I must unlearn!  
Woe's me that easy way we went,  
So rugged when I would return!  
How long until my sleep begin,  
How long shall stretch these nights and days?  
Surely, clean Angels cry, she prays;  
_–Christina Rossetti

As Vader rejoined their son, the doubts grew and for a moment, he found himself struggling not to falter. What was more frightening was the thought that flickered into his mind, tempting him to reconsider Luke's offer. It wouldn't be too hard—at least not at first—to depart with the young Jedi, to go wherever it was that Luke believed they would go. But it was fanciful thinking and like his need to imagine Dormé was by his side, it wasn't real. Once he had joined the young Jedi, he motioned the stormtroopers away and prepared to take their son to his Master where he knew he would embark on his final mission and Force willing, finally return home to his beloved.

Dormé watched on as Vader rejoined Luke. Luke, her darling boy—whom she ought to have protected from the emperor—seemed confident, but she could tell he was nervous. She wished she could protect him from this fate, but thought that she was unable to... If only Anakin would _listen_ to her…

Everything seemed to happen so quickly, too quickly in many ways for the broken Sith lord whose sole wish had been to die by their son's hand. The discovery that Leia was their daughter was a shock to say the least. But before he had a chance to fully process what the truth he had always known in his subconscious, Anakin, in an act of desperation, decided to use the knowledge against their son. Almost as soon as the words escaped his lips, he regretted them for the rush of darkness descended on Luke and, to his surprise, it wasn't pride he felt, but fear and shame. Not for the death that was certain to come, rather something else entirely that he couldn't quite say. Confused and filled with despair, he didn't bother attempting to fight against the young Jedi who defeated him with ease. But to his surprise, shame, and humble pride, Luke did not succumb to the siren's call and instead choose once more to take the high ground.

Though Luke gave in and defeated his father in combat, he recognised the rush of the dark side and it shamed him. He tossed his lightsaber away saying, 'Never. I'll never turn to the dark side. You've failed, Your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.'

Vader wanted to die and felt deserving of the death that was certain to come by Luke's hand. But when the boy spoke out and said that he was Jedi like his father, Anakin couldn't deny the fact he was completely humbled and touched by their son's words. The darkness of his thoughts was beginning to clear and the confusion was beginning to fade into coherency. Luke truly was a far greater man than he ever was and would ever be. Never in his life had he ever felt so proud and yet so ashamed. Struggling against his emotions and the division that was forming in his thoughts, the Sith lord rose to his feet, uncertain of himself and of the situation he now found himself in. He wanted to help his son and yet felt so unworthy to do so, for the despair that was the darkness still reigned strong within him. His deep-rooted wish to see Luke embrace his destiny as a Sith lord was still strong as well even though he no longer wished for Sidious to be his Master.

'So be it, Jedi. If you will not be turned, then you will be destroyed,' Darth Sidious hissed before unleashing wave after wave of dark side lightning as Luke cried for his father's help.

Vader's instincts told him to protect his son, to stand in the boy's place, to save the last thing he loved that remained in this world. However, his thoughts were divided and torn asunder as the light and dark warred within him. Anakin found he couldn't _move_ despite the fact he was desperately trying. It was then that he realized his surroundings were beginning to shift and change before his very eyes. Looking about him, he tried to focus his attentions on their son and on his Master, but it was to no avail. The Force was demanding his attentions and Anakin despite his strength within, he was helpless to resist.

Dormé was unable to stop Luke from being electrocuted by the dark side. The powerful emotions this evoked rushed forth from Anakin and herself to the extent that time stopped and she found herself once more in the tropical forest... The first time she arrived here was after her death.

_Slowly Dormé could no longer feel Anakin's arms around her. She could not see him or hear his voice. She was so tired and when she awoke, it confused her. She breathed in deeply, feeling the dew on the grass. She sat up, noticing her gown was intact. She was not bleeding. Confused, she looked around but did not recognise the location. It was a field, but she heard water in the distance. The moon was high._

'_Anakin?' she asked as she found her feet. She wandered towards the sound of the flowing water. She called for her beloved, but she was alone. She had a feeling of dread that it was true—that she was dead and despite his proclamations that they were as one and would never be separated, she was here alone. What was worse was that it meant he was alone too.Though her wound was not bleeding, she felt her heart aching, finding it difficult to breathe._

_At the water's edge, she fell to her knees, clutching her chest as she sobbed. How many years had they spent almost every moment together? Now she was utterly alone. Though she had a good idea how this would affect Vader, she had no idea that even in death they were still intimately connected. Little did she know that the pain and suffering from being separated from Anakin would be nothing compared to what she was about to endure._

_Through the mist on the lake, an ethereal form of a woman appeared, robed in the royal orange of the Naboo, her long dark hair coiling softly around her. Dormé couldn't believe her eyes. The spiritual manifestation of the Force, which appeared to her in the form of her former mentor, Saché Maberrie, coalesced on the pool of water and was walking towards her. Confused and angry, Dormé demanded that the spirit would bring her to her beloved. Hissing curses, she wanted to hurt the spirit of the traitor, this_ demon

_The spirit seemed unfazed by this. 'You are standing at a threshold, Dormé. You will have a choice once this test is concluded.'_

_Dormé was unable to object or speak— not even to ask question— for this was not really Saché and the Force was too compelling not to be listened to. She couldn't plug her ears, nor close her eyes as the horrors of what atrocities she committed during her decades with the dark side corrupting her blood assaulted her senses._

_Without warning the place shifted and changed._

_The battle of Hoth…_

_The trenches, the Death Star, the destruction of Alderaan…_

_All off the bodies of the innocent, the bloodshed, the terrorists, the spies, the rebels, the separatists…_

_The lives she ruined, the family of those who had been killed…_

_She saw all of them, each and every one of them. Even if she had not slayed them with her own hand, she had provoked much, ordered others, encouraged Vader much of the time._

_Each of the dead spoke to her of the consequences of her chosen actions._

'_What is this? Why are you doing this?' Dormé cried. _'_Anakin, where are you? Make it stop! Make them stop!' She clamped her hands over her ears, but no matter what she did or where she tried to run, they followed her._

'_You know why you are here,' Saché said._

_Dormé stared at the form, feeling it wasn't really Saché. Somehow, she knew it was not, that it was merely the manifestation of the Force speaking the truth through the recognizable form of Saché. _'_I am…dead. I've died…'_

'_Your spirit is polluted with the dark side.'_

_Though she knew it wasn't really Saché, Dormé broke down in tears. She knew now. She knew why Captain Typho and Saché did what they did, their honourable sacrifices for freedom, how she had commissioned their deaths, viewing them as traitors. Dormé fell to her knees, clutching the spirit's ankles as she sobbed. Saché had reached out to her, trying to help her, to bring her back to the light, but Dormé had turned her away. 'Saché, I'm so sorry… Can you ever forgive me?' _

_The Force remained placid, yet with a caring expression. _'_You have a choice, young one.'_

_She felt the spirit's hand touching her hair. _'_I have always had a choice,' she conceded through her remorseful tears. _'_I have been so stupid.'_

'_You have a chance to redeem yourself. You can give him that chance too.'_

'_I don't understand. I don't know what you mean,' she said._

_Then it hit her._

_She knew how much influence she had on Vader, how she encouraged him in his evil deeds. She recalled the times where his conscience peeked through, but she defensively argued he was justified for it. The worst of this was the assault on the _ _Jedi__Temple__—that she defended the slaughter of the younglings. It was as if she were wielding the lightsaber herself. There had been so many atrocities committed in her name, all of them coming back to her now, wracking her with guilt as the souls,_ so many souls_, returned to haunt her once more. She recalled all of them, even the jilted lovers whose hearts she broke so many years ago._

_Suddenly, the intense flashes of memories sharpened to a single one. This was brighter and more vivid than any of the other memories were. It was in the senator's living quarters on Coruscant during Dormé's first year as a full-fledged handmaiden. She was standing near Padmé and Captain Typho near the balcony, the door slid open and Jar-Jar greeted the Jedi. It was then as she moved toward the doorway that she saw him._

_Dormé had to do a double-take._

_It was Anakin as he had been before the Clone Wars began, before Mustafar, before the Empire, before becoming Darth Vader…_

_She had almost forgotten what he used to look like for she had grown to love the man bearing the scars and prosthetics, who did not have a single hair on his head. Tears came to her eyes seeing him like this, so young and naïve. They had been so innocent back then, before the dark times, before the Sith._

_He looked like an entirely different person without the influence of the dark side, but his eyes, his luminous blue eyes, assured her it was really him. He was looking past Padmé to where she stood and it was as though there were no one else in the room. He was looking at her the way he had for the past twenty years. She felt as though her heart stopped in her chest. Her dearest friend and beloved husband..._

_She missed him so much and did not dare to think how her passing affected him. And then the words of the Force spoke to her. What if Anakin was unable to accompany her into the realms of harmony because of their crimes?_

_If there was only one thing she could do, Dormé wanted to ensure Anakin's return to the light, so that at least he would be granted the harmony he deserved. Even if it meant she would sacrifice that everlasting grace, she would gladly do so for his sake._

_Standing before the lake once more, she asked the form the Force had chosen to take if there were anything she could do to help Anakin._

'_Your choice has been granted.'_

There was a lake here and a thick fog that was soon parting. She knew she would have some control in his dream vision. Soon she saw him making his way through the trees. It was nearly like how it was in that other in-between place, where the Force came to her in all shapes and manners, showing her things from her life that she was responsible for. 'Anakin?'

Vader found himself in the clearing. He always visited this forest in his dreams. Confused and fearing for their son, he glanced around quickly calling out for Luke and then for Dormé. Soon he believed it was a hopeless cause and just as he was about to depart for the forest's edge—where the mist seemed to separate him from his beloved in his dreams—Anakin heard Dormé's voice and felt her presence.

'Anakin? Can you see me, my love?' She walked across the small clearing to where he was.

Whirling around, the Sith lord found himself coming face-to-face to his beloved who now was approaching him. Rendered speechless by his emotions, Vader could only stare at his goddess in hopeful disbelief, fearing she would fade away the minute he drew to close. But she was real and upon realizing that she was not about to slip away, Anakin rushed to her and pulled her into a tight embrace as, for the moment, the safety of their son was forgotten. 'Dormé, my beautiful goddess, my beloved, how I've missed you,' he breathed between tears of joy.

Here it was different than reality, for when she embraced him, she actually felt him in her arms. Now, she knew she wasn't alone. _He_ was here in this liminal space between the living and what comes after. 'Oh Anakin! How I have missed you!' she exclaimed with all of her heart, momentarily forgetting the purpose of her _return_. Holding him again, almost as she used to before her death, caused her to break down. She couldn't help the overwhelming emotions that overtook her. 'Anakin, Anakin…oh, my love…' Dormé couldn't say his name enough times, nor could she hold him tight enough. His voice, how she had missed that too, the way he felt in her arms, the way it felt to have his hands in her hair... She never wanted to forget a single thing about him.

After a lifetime of being apart from his beloved or so it felt Vader was unable to contain his emotions and holding her tightly he too spoke her name repeatedly as though she were a goddess who had bestowed her presence on him—a mere mortal. Her tears mingled freely with his own. He could feel her holding him as though she too feared he might disappear in a moment's whim. Running his fingers through her hair, the fallen Jedi thanked the Force, the gods, all the powers that be, for returning his beloved to him once more. Though he vaguely wondered if he was dead, the thought was a fleeting one as all that truly mattered to him was that his dearest queen was in his arms where she belonged. 'My beloved, how lost I've been without you, but you are here now and I am once more complete,' he whispered. Moving to kiss her lips, Anakin feared that if he spoke further, he would lose what little control he had of himself and break down completely.

She knew–oh how she knew!–the desperation, sorrow, and despair that plagued her beloved at her death. Dormé felt it as powerfully as he did and it was such a relief to be here with him, to know it would not be long before they would eternally be together once more. She wouldn't have registered if she was causing him pain or if his grip would render bruises on her skin because she couldn't hold him tight enough or be held tight enough after so long. But it was hard to look forward to that when she was already partially with him now. It was so close to being real, that it was incredibly hard to remember her task, the reason she wanted, _needed_ to speak with him now. It was especially difficult when she was losing and finding her true self in his kiss. His touch, the lingering scent of spices that so reminded her of him, and the taste of his lips... _My beloved king, how I have missed you... _

Her kiss spoke volumes and resonated deeply within his soul and for a moment Anakin finally remembered what it was like to whole once more. Holding her tightly as though he were a drowning man who had been saved he kissed her with all the passion and love he held for her. _Dormé, my dearest goddess, never leave me. Please, never go,_ his thoughts begged as he continued to kiss her until the memory of all he wanted to speak to her returned to him.

It seemed like an eternity since she last held him, peered into his blue eyes, tasted his lips... She knew she had missed him, but it was only now she fully realised just how much. Now, in his arms, she was whole again. One kiss, one embrace, was never enough and yet it was that longing that caused her to remember her purpose for returning: to help him on the path to redemption so they could be together for eternity.

Drawing their kiss to a close, the Sith lord gently place his hands to her cheeks as he studied her with a fierce intensity. His eyes shone with love, but bore the weight of his shame and guilt as all he could think about was that it was his fault that she died, that had he not been so selfish, so lost in his own desires, Dormé would still be by his side. The thought caused him to bow his head as he furrowed his brow deeply obviously struggling with his thoughts and emotions. 'I am so sorry, Dormé, for doing this to you. It was my selfishness and impatience that killed you,' he admitted in sorrow filled tones as he recalled the doctor's fatalistic words during her last days. 'If it wasn't for me, you would still be alive—Oh Dormé, please forgive me. I was such an ignorant fool!' he continued as tears once more filled his eyes. 'You have given me nothing but peace and in turn I've given you nothing but sorrow!'

At his words, tears flowed freely down her cheeks, but she shook her head as she stroked his cheek. 'No, no...' she said. 'Anakin, you gave me your heart and your love. I never thought I could experience such happiness as I have with you–' she passionately replied, though her throat was choked with emotion.

Vader furrowed his brow at her words and in the back of his mind he recalled the words of another: _In end, you will be her demise and she, your saviour._His eyes wavered to the memory and at the words his beloved spoke Anakin could only shake his head as sorrow flooded his thoughts. 'No Dormé, you don't understand—I wasted our last moments together chasing after what would have been ours if only I hadn't been so impatient. I destroyed you, my love, and I am so sorry,' he said in sorrow filled but sincere tones as he caressed her cheeks with his thumbs.

'I understand why I had to die, Anakin. It was meant to happen...' Wanting him to know this was not a flight of fancy or mere dream of portence, she told him things he could not possibly know. 'I have seen things, experienced things on the other side...so much pain and suffering...horrors of my own making...' This was going to be so difficult and she knew there was a high chance he would shut her out, which would break her heart.

The more she spoke, the more confused it left the Sith lord who could only study in her silence. If he had any doubts that this wasn't real, that it was his imagination playing tricks on his broken heart, he didn't anymore. He wasn't certain what frightened him more the fact this was real or the fact that he would eventually have to awaken from this vision. Shaking his head at her words, he gave her a look of disbelief as he furrowed his brow. Surely, she had to understand this wasn't her fault, none of this was. If anyone was at fault it was the insurgents who constantly sought to destroy their happiness and destroy their empire. Or worse, himself for being so selfish, costing what little happiness they had together and could have had together in the years to come. 'Horrors of your own making? But you did nothing wrong, Dormé. You have no reason to blame yourself. These horrors you speak of are the rebel's fault. They are the ones who caused the innocent to suffer and brought chaos to the Empire's order,' he concluded gently feeling awful to see her look so troubled and wanting nothing more than to comfort her.

For over two decades they had encouraged this line of thinking, encouraging each other through words of love and comfort. Even with her enlightenment through the Force, it was so very hard not to succumb to her husband's words. She wanted to believe in the lies they had been telling themselves for years.

'You are innocent my love. Believe me you have done nothing wrong. You have been nothing but selfless and caring, a goddess of peace in my universe of chaos and war.'

Closing her eyes momentarily, she struggled against herself, knowing her heart was correct and prayed that he would follow. After everything she had witnessed, hearing and seeing the consequences of her choices and actions, she wanted to atone for those crimes, to somehow make amends. But feeling Anakin's hand on her cheek gently assuring her that she had done nothing wrong, that they were the traitors, it was so hard not to believe him. 'I am no goddess, Anakin.' She couldn't meet his eyes as the shame of her past crimes rushed to the forefront of her thoughts.

Gently stroking her cheek Anakin found himself growing confused by her reaction. He had meant to calm her fears to alleviate her unfounded guilt. But the more he spoke, the more he felt her shame through the Force. It was only when she admitted to not being a goddess did the Sith lord realise that in reality his words had done little more than further her sorrow. Confused he shook his head as she lowered her gaze. 'Dormé, please listen to me. This isn't your fault, it is theirs—' he hesitated and then fell silent as Dormé gaze met his eyes once more as she continued to speak. Her words made no sense to the fallen Jedi and yet deep down he knew she was right. But the thought was just too painful to consider for in doing so it would mean having to admit he had become the very thing he hated so much.

Finally meeting his eyes once more, she admitted, hard as it was that: 'Our Empire...we went about it all wrong to begin with and it is partially my fault for encouraging it when I shouldn't have and Luke–' She stopped herself short when a knot caught in her throat.

Shaking his head, he studied her intently as his eyes wavered to her faltered words. 'What are you saying?' he balked unable to believe what she was trying to say or rather closing his thoughts and heart to them. 'You're making no sense,' he continued as the darkness warned him that she was talking like a rebel, that she had turned into a traitor. But this too was one lie too many and though he tried desperately to deny the facts this was one thing he could not believe. Dormé had never and would never betray him. 'My love, listen to me you're just confused. I know you don't mean this. You are the most loyal person I've ever met, I know you would never turn, you would never do this to us,' he said fervently not able to register that he only need look at himself if he wanted to find a traitor. 'All you've ever been was supportive and loving to me, to Luke. You've always been my foundation, my bedrock. The traitors are the rebel's the one's who are in the wrong are them!' he pleaded desperately wanting her believe what he believed to be the truth.

'–The Emperor is going to kill Luke,' she concluded, forcing herself not to listen to the lies anymore. Dormé knew his heart. She knew it was the darkness calling her a traitor, not her beloved. She would not be persuaded by the distrusting, guilt-tripping dark side and her belief in Anakin was unwavering. No matter how much it would hurt, she vowed she would not give up on him, on their love.

At Dormé's blunt conclusion Anakin furrowed his brow and shook his head. 'He can't, he won't. He wants Luke to embrace is his destiny to become a Sith lord,' he said quickly in reply though it was only then that he began to realize that he truly didn't want Luke to follow the dark side. But even now the answer that should be so obvious evaded him.

'No,' Dormé shook her head. 'He means to _kill_ him for being a Jedi, for refusing to be a Sith. Please don't let him–'

Anakin's expression grew fearful to Dormé's words and despite his ignorance of the situation he knew without question that if it were to come to that he would do everything in his power to protect their son. What he couldn't understand was just why he felt such pride and shame at Dormé's words—the reminder of Luke's choice to resist the dark side and the fact he did not. 'I won't let my Master kill our son—I can't,' he concluded as only now he recalled the events that occurred before he found himself here. The thought filled his heart with fear for their son and left him feeling torn. He had to save their son and yet he knew if he did, it would mean having to leave Dormé. He had yet to realize that in this place time moved of its own accord and that the reason he was here was not just to be reunited with his beloved.

'Do you remember that time...when I told you I could not–bear you children... Do you remember your reaction? You felt it was your fault because of the lives of the younglings you took in the Jedi Temple all those years ago.'

But then she began to speak of the past, reminding him of his crimes at the temple. The one line he knew even as a Sith lord that he shouldn't have crossed. Frowning deeply he struggled with her words not wanting to believe what she was saying and yet unable to ignore the fact that even then her reassurances couldn't quite convince him that his actions were justified. It was because of this that her words began to strike a chord within him. However he was still not ready to listen, or to understand its true meaning. It was just far too easy to cling to the lies especially with the truth being so painful.

Dormé took a shaky breath before continuing. 'Oh my love, your conscience was telling you the truth and I–I encouraged you to ignore it! I have encouraged so many evils in you and I don't think I can ever forgive myself for it...' If anyone was to blame for this, she felt it was partially hers, despite the fact she was unable to recognise the darkness before the brief experience of Anakin losing his powers...

Shaking his head, Vader glanced away. What started as a wonderful moment was now turning rapidly sour for the Sith lord who began to withdraw from her embrace. The truth hurt and though he tried to run it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide or deny it, especially with his dearest beloved acting as its avatar. 'Why are you doing this? Why are you speaking of such things to me now? You know as well as I do they would have only grown up to become our enemies. I had no choice...' he said almost desperately as he began to pace.

'The only thing I know that is real and true is my love for you, Anakin. That is the only thing that kept me sane during my trial in the in-between worlds. If you can believe in nothing else, you must believe in that. That is the reason I am here, the reason I was able to return to you.'

Torn between his instinctive desire to leave, to bury the truth as he had always done before and remain, Anakin felt his thoughts being pulled into two directions. Deep down, he knew she was right but hearing it aloud was overwhelming and to accept it meant he would have to look within himself once more. To do so would mean facing things he did not want to face. It had been a lifetime since he had looked in the mirror and seen the monster that was really there, instead of the man he believed himself to be. But despite the dark side that continued to tell him lies—that he was only doing his duty, that even the younglings were traitors—Anakin couldn't hide from the glaring truth. However, instead of registering the fact his beloved was only trying to save him, that her painful words were meant to heal, all he saw was a threat. Panicked and fearful that he was losing her, the fallen Jedi began to lash out. Pausing in mid-stride he stopped and stared at her with an expression that was both pained and angered. 'What's happening to you? Where is the Dormé I know and love?'

She watched as he paced, allowing him to challenge her. He wasn't listening to her. She should have expected it. She knew how he would react even before he did, but that didn't prepare her for his reaction. His words tore at her heart and she had to believe he didn't mean it. If she believed them, she wouldn't be able to go on. He was speaking from his fears and denial. She knew this defensive mechanism all too well. He was falling back on old habits because it was familiar, whereas the truth of things was unfamiliar and scary. She exhaled, trying to remain confident in her convictions. It would be all too easy to beg his forgiveness, saying she didn't know what came over her, that she was being silly. But she knew she could not do that. She would be damned if he did not join her in the realms of harmony!

'You don't really believe that nonsense do you? Listen to me, Dormé, you've done nothing but encourage me to embrace my destiny and become something greater than I am. Now...Now you're saying that you were wrong? That everything we've done was for nothing, that we're actually the _evil_ ones?' the anger faded from his features as his despair grew more evident. Though her words had left its mark, Anakin was not consciously listening to the meaning behind them and in place of hope he only felt despair. 'What have I done to make you feel this way? How did I wrong you so badly that you actually regret our times together?' he said in barely audible tones as the tears once more collected in his eyes.

Though he had been the one to move away from her, Dormé could not stand the despair radiating from him because of her words. The wind caught up her hair as she walked over to him, reaching up to rest a hand on his chest where in the real world his lung had collapsed. 'My only regret is leaving you, Anakin,' she murmured, tears returning to her eyes as well.

_I have lost you once Dormé, I can't bear to lose you again,_ he thought in sorrow unaware of the fact that he was the only one who now remained lost. As though sensing these thoughts Dormé quietly approached him and placed her hand against his chest. Closing his eyes the Sith lord was unable to ignore the lump that formed in his throat as she spoke in soft tones. Though he tried to contain the tears a few still spilled. 'Mine was letting you go...And not being able to join you,' he whispered in a voice thick with emotion.

She had wanted nothing more than to remain with him, to grow old with him, but it had been taken away from her because of the dark side. 'That is why you must listen to me.'

Her final words hung in the air, causing his heart to ache. A soft voice deep within reminded him that in freeing her from being a handmaiden, he condemned her to a life of darkness. Though he refused to let himself believe that he had poisoned her with his darkness, the stirrings of the truth would not be so easily dismissed, leaving him feeling both vulnerable and torn. He wanted to help her, but he did not know how to, or rather he did, but the possibility of embracing the facts was too painful to consider and he continued to cling to the lies. 'But I am listening to you, Dormé,' he pleaded as his eyes snapped open while his thoughts began to spiral out of control. The truth was growing harder to ignore and yet the Sith lord couldn't bring himself to admit that he was the traitor. Despite his love for Dormé and his believed loyalty to her, the dark side was truly his lover and mistress. It was because of his inability to let go of his selfish and greedy ways that Dormé was killed. It was her love for him that now ensured that Vader was given this one last chance to redeem himself. Shaking his head, Anakin studied her in confusion and dismay. 'I don't understand why it is that you believe we're in the wrong. Why you actually think these rebels, these Separatists are innocent. We were the loyal ones, Dormé, not them. We never faltered in our duties or our loyalties,' he continued repeating himself once more before falling silent as the despair once more became evident in his scarred features.

'Not all of them were innocent, you're right,' she admitted, 'but so many of those souls we claimed _were_ innocent. We indulged in their fear and relished in the flow of their blood... We didn't only destroy lives, we destroyed families as well...what could have been _our_ family...' Dormé was not here to blame or to judge, only to speak the truth. Had the dark side not consumed them, in all likelihood they might have been able to have children, but even with Luke, they failed. She was actually thankful now that they hadn't, for who knew what sort of people they would have grown up to become if they had been born under the influence of such evil. But there was a chance now to make it up to Luke if Anakin chose take it.

Vader listened in silence to Dormé's admittance feeling for a flickering moment that perhaps she had come to her senses. But the thought was fleeting for Dormé was once more touching on matters that until now had always been so clear to him. However what had once been so black and white to Anakin was now rapidly becoming a hazy shade of grey. The Sith lord's sense of right and wrong was beginning to shift and with it came a powerful sense—a powerful need to look within himself for the answers he already knew but feared to face. However, after so many years of denial such truth was hard to face and though he knew his time for running away had come to an end he continued to fruitlessly try. 'But we were only upholding order in place of the chaos...' he pleaded softly. But even as he spoke these words, the Sith lord was finding it increasingly difficult to believe in them as he once did.

'I cannot move on without you, Anakin. I refuse to.' It had already been so long without him that she knew she would not be able to bear it much longer; the ache was too powerful.

'I don't want to hold you back, but I don't know how I can possibly help you move on,' he softly concluded believing that somehow this _unfounded_ guilt was the reason why she remained. 'If it is my physical existence that keeps you here Dormé I promise you have no intention of remaining in the realm of the living for long. For without you I am truly but a shadow who longs to just fade away,' he then added as this thought too occurred to him—which in reality too was nothing more than the darkness striving to prevent him from seeing the truth. Yet despite his wish to help Dormé in her quest, there was still a small part of him that was grateful for the fact she did remain, if not for anything then for the fact he was able to see her again now. However, he knew enough to know this wasn't right and so he found himself actually beginning to truly listen to her words so he could find some way to help her.

When he spoke of his physical form, she couldn't help allowing tears to escape. 'No, my love, it's not just that... I was given a choice. I chose to stay because I don't want to go on to the realms of Harmony without you. To do so, you must see the errors we made. Though we cannot change what has passed, we can take responsibility for the crimes we have committed and ask the forgiveness of those souls whose lives we claimed without mercy.'

Anakin felt the struggle within grow ever worse. Desperately, he tried to wrap the darkness around him, to cling to the lies but Dormé's words cut through them as though they were but threads of silk. 'Why are you telling me this? Dormé, all we did was helped heal the dying Republic and breathed new life into it so it could become the Empire it is now,' he continued in desperate tones as the guilt and despair within began to grow too great to ignore. His need to run kept him from accepting the truth and so what should have been obvious evaded him leaving Vader to presume Dormé's return to him was for every other reason but the truth.

The answer revealed itself soon enough and with it, came the end of Anakin's attempts to run away. Speechless he could only stare at her in pained silence as his expression slowly shifted from blatant denial to the slow realization of the truth.

For with her words came the sound of voices crying to the heavens, the silent requiem of the souls of the younglings he had slaughtered. In his mind, Anakin began to see their lifeless faces staring at him with hollow eyes. He tried to ignore them, to ignore the feelings of guilt they encouraged but the harder he tried the more powerful it became.

It wasn't just the younglings he saw, but his former comrades too as well as the officers he had killed for no reason, the innocent lives who had the misfortune of crossing his path at the wrong time. But it wasn't the sight of them falling to his blade or to the dark side of the Force that was terrifying or shaming. It was the fact he was seeing it as through it was through their eyes, just as he could feel hear their cries through the Force.

Frozen in position, the Sith lord could no longer register his surroundings for he had become too lost in the horror of his thoughts to be able to respond to anything else. Without fully realizing his actions, Anakin's right hand, now trembling, reached out to take Dormé's. For in that moment, he felt as though he were drowning in a sea of shame, despair, and guilt. His beloved goddess was the only one left who could save him from himself.

Dormé was unable to respond to his defensive assertions and fruitless questions as something outside of the both of them took over this dreamscape. Anakin was now seeing what she had seen and he seemed farther away as she reached for him. The images assaulted him, but she only viewed them as translucent figures moving too swiftly to make sense of. Registering the waves of guilt and horror, she wanted to go to him, but felt as though she were being held back by an unseen force. It wasn't until he reached out for her that she was able to hold his hand; her left in his right, their strongest hands united through this trial. It was then that she felt the darkness releasing its hold on him. She would never let him go. He would not have to face this alone, she assured him by squeezing his hand.

Caught under the blade of the merciless truth, Vader could only watch in horror as he witnessed and experienced first-hand the weight of his actions. Never before had he ever considered the other side or how his crimes had affected so many lives. He hadn't cared. To him they were nothing more than traitors deserving of their demise. The heady rush that he felt with every kill was but the elation of a victory well earned. Of justice and order being restored. Now he knew the truth and as hard as it was for him to face, Anakin could not deny that he had become the very thing he despised and hated. His prey had never been traitors at all, it had been him all along and the corrupted he once cursed was in reality none other than himself.

As the images and experiences continued to unfold without mercy or hesitation the Sith lord felt as though he were being crushed by the weight of his guilt and shame. When he tried to close his eyes the images burned within them, when he tuned out their silent screams they only grew louder. No matter how much he long to run away, to ignore and deny the facts Anakin could no long deny or hide from his consciousness. Panicked and overwhelmed by his awakening to the truth and to the light Vader reached out for Dormé as though he were a drowning man reaching for a life preserve. Only when he felt her slender but scarred fingers slip into his own calloused hand was the Sith lord able to truly let go of the darkness and embrace the light.

As Vader underwent his catharsis, Dormé remained by his side until he released her hand and collapsed to his knees, sobbing. His sobs tore at her heart, but she was so thankful at having been given this opportunity. Her faith in him was unwavering.

Releasing his hand from Dormé's own, Anakin then dropped to his knees as he began to sob as though his tears would break him into two. Clutching onto the skirts of Dormé's gown as he sobbed the fallen Jedi finally accepted the truth of who he was and what he had allowed himself to become. It was painful and hard, but liberating at the same time. Never had he ever been more ashamed of himself or aware of his crimes as he was in that moment. But more importantly, never in his life had he ever been more grateful to Dormé for saving him either.

In the storm of sorrow and shame that flooded his thoughts, the fallen Jedi found himself needing his beloved's presence more than ever and yet feeling so unworthy of it. Suddenly the weight of her words earlier became terrifyingly clear to him. Had it not been for her love Anakin knew he would have surely been lost. Just as it was her love that saved him from drowning in his guilt and shame thus devouring the light that was beginning to return. It was then too that he recalled the shaman's words to him and realised just how accurate she had been once more. He had truly destroyed Dormé, poisoning her with the Dark side just as he influenced and brought out the darkness within her. The thought was terrifying and this too added to his sorrow, shame and regret which caused him to weep as though his heart was breaking into two. '...It's my fault...All of it is my fault...You have done nothing but save me, Dormé...but I—I destroyed you...I am so sorry, Dormé...I am so very sorry...'

As he clutched her gown, like a mortal begging for mercy, Dormé, like the goddess he continually said she was, extended her arm to touch his cheek. After everything they had been through, the sins they committed together, after everything, he was her constant, her soulmate. She would not succumb to the realms of discord and neither would he. Together, they were stronger.

The tears continued to spill despite the comfort her gentle touch offered. 'By the Force what have I become? What have I done Dormé? ...So much innocent blood has been spilled, so many lives lost...all because of me...Because of my selfish greed...I am so sorry...Force help me I am so sorry...' he whispered in between tears, his voice thick with sorrow and emotion.

He desperately wished that there could be some way to undo the damage done, to go back and do it all over again. But it was too late and though he was repentant for his crimes against humanity, Anakin knew there was little he could do to properly make amends. How he longed to beg for forgiveness, but after living a lifetime of showing no mercy, he felt so unworthy of asking to have it given to him. It was then that he realized that it had already been given, that Dormé was the avatar of this unspoken mercy and forgiveness. Never in his life did he ever feel so humbled or so grateful and as she gently guided his gaze so he may look at her the broken Sith lord found himself staring into eyes filled with compassion. It was only when she kissed his scarred flesh that he once more found the courage to speak.

'...Oh my dearest Dormé, I don't know what to say, I know don't deserve this mercy, this kindness, not after all I have done to you—to everyone...' he continued in despairing tones as he studied her with haunted and sorrow filled eyes.

Dormé listened to every word of his repentance, remaining steadfast until the overwhelming sorrow was too much to ignore. She touched his cheek and kissed his forehead in a benediction as though she had the ability of a goddess to abolish sins. She couldn't help feeling joyful that she had not been wrong about him, that her faith had not been misplaced. She stooped slightly to take his hands from her gown, pulling him to stand in front of her.'We are both to blame for encouraging the crimes we indulged in. All we can do now is atone for the misdeeds and do what we can with the time given us.'

The tears shed were purifying despite the immense guilt and sorrow that he felt. It was as cleansing as her presence was soothing. Her words and touch drew his attentions to her once more and, studying her in silence, he found his heart clenching in reply. While he would always bear guilt for his actions and how they affected her, Anakin knew she was right. He never forced her to do anything she didn't want to, just as she never forced him either. They fed and encouraged each other in times of evil and now they would atone and make their amends for their crimes together as well.

Bowing his head in humble acceptance the former Sith lord closed his eyes as he moved to hold her close. 'My love, my dearest Dormé...' he whispered softly his voice still thick with emotion. There was so much he wanted to say, so much that had to be said and yet there were no words that could ever fully describe his thoughts or his emotions in that moment. As though reading his thoughts, his dearest beloved kissed him and through the Force whispered into his thoughts what his heart longed to say.

Dormé kissed him then, whispering into his thoughts through their Force bond for the very first time. '_Nussuqum sutallulum, kissing you, I am whole.'_ It was a most ancient and sacred benediction and one that was meant for a moment such as this.

Upon hearing those sacred words, his thoughts filled with such humble joy that it was almost overwhelming. In silence, he pulled her closer as though fearing if he let go she would fade away. Returning her kiss, he gently spoke in her thoughts as well, his voice soft and shy. '_You and I are one, now and always.' _

The pair shared their first kiss on the light side of the Force and Dormé relished the thought that it would now only be a matter of time before they would be able to truly be together in the realms of Harmony. For now, she contented herself with this. Though it was subtle, now that she completed her mission, the Force beckoned her to let him return to reality. She herself felt as though she was also being pulled out of this dreamscape. Dormé knew Anakin needed to help Luke and though his catharsis had taken hours, in the real world, it happened within a matter of a few seconds. 'Our son needs you,' she murmured, stroking his scarred cheek.

Though it wasn't in the flesh, it was a moment Anakin would never forget. However, something shifted between them and the fallen Jedi sensed that their moment together was ending. His heart clenched at the thought and as she stroked his cheek her murmured words drew his thoughts to the present. It was then that he recalled the events that brought him to this place and the thought filled him with fear for Luke's safety. 'I need to return to him,' he said softly with obvious concern.

'This is your last mission, Anakin. And then you will return to me and we shall be together for eternity.'

It was then that Dormé him that this would be his last mission, his one final chance to do save what little good was left in his life. Studying her with fierce intensity the former Sith lord nodded gently in reply before giving her a loving smile. 'I will not fail you or Luke,' he assured her in sincere tones before leaning in to steal one last kiss, for he could feel his own conscious shifting as though he were beginning to surface to consciousness once more. Then gently touching her cheek, Anakin gave her one last smile as he whispered softly in reply, 'I will return to you soon. I promise.'

The dark Force lightening was unbearable, causing wave after wave of horrendous pain to sear Luke's body. He couldn't help crying out to his father for help. 'Father, please!'

Anakin soon found himself returning to the familiar surroundings of his former Master's throne room. Now that his body was once more his to control the former Sith lord did not hesitate to act. Without a further thought, he moved behind the elder Sith lord and with his free hand proceeded to lift him well over his head with the intent of ending this madness once and for all.

For Palpatine, the swift change in Vader's Force signature from despairingly dark, almost immobilised with depression, to resolute and hopeful, went unnoticed. So caught up in the dark side's rush, enjoying the agony he brought upon the filthy Jedi, Darth Sidious was unable to sense his former apprentice's redemption. Nor was he prepared for Vader's attack.

Luke was confused at first when the lightening ceased torturing him, but when he witnessed his father hauling up the Emperor and throwing him down the reactor core, he was so proud of him and so thankful. He got up and rushed over to his father in an effort to help get him off the Death Star so they could start over as father and son Jedi Knights.

With Darth Sidious caught completely off guard there was little chance of failure. But Anakin's victory would be brief for in the process of saving Luke the former Sith lord soon fell prey to the powerful Dark Force lightning which encompassed his towering form. The pain was overwhelming and yet in a strange sense it was equally satisfying. For he knew it was the least that he deserved after all the damage he had caused but more importantly in doing this he had ensured their son's safety.

Despite his determination, the damage caused by the Force lightning was taking its toll on his broken body and by the time Darth Sidious was sent to his death Anakin's protective armour was utterly destroyed. Utterly exhausted and struggling to breathe, Anakin leant heavily over the railing of the reactor core's edge. He knew his time was running out but this did not bother him for all that remained on his mind now was their son's safety. He wanted to tell Luke to get away, to leave before the Death Star exploded but he was tired and so incredibly weak. It was a struggle to even breathe, nevermind speak so left with no other option for the moment, the former Sith lord shyly touched Luke's thoughts to learn if he was all right and to encourage him to leave. But the young man would have none of it and was soon rushing to his aid. At first Anakin attempted to protest but given his wounds and the damage done to his protective suit left him almost helpless to resist. Upon realising that Luke was not about to back down Vader focused his energy and strength on helping their son's attempts to rescue him, despite the fact he knew it was too late.

After the pain passed, Luke registered the alteration in his father's Force signature. It was warmer and clearer than it ever had been before. Somehow, Luke knew that this was Anakin Skywalker, his father. Darth Vader was no more. He would be able to save his father from this Death Star and they would start a new Jedi Order together...and they could train Leia in the ways of the Force...and they would be a family!

Their departure was a chaotic one and though Anakin did his best to help Luke in what way he could ultimately his body -now broken beyond repair- could no longer keep up. Stumbling, he eventually dropped to his knees as they approached the escape ship only to have Luke try to pull him into the ship. Nevertheless despite Luke's desperate attempts Anakin knew it was time and with this in mind he collected his energy and began to speak through struggling breaths. 'Luke...Help me take this mask off,' he pleaded as he began to feel and sense the Force drawing his spirit back to it. Though he couldn't see her Anakin also knew that Dormé was waiting for him even now and as much as he wanted to remain with their son he did not wish to keep her waiting for long.

As he was forced to end up dragging his father to the ship, he knew time was not on their side. His request to remove the mask awakened Luke to reality. 'But you'll die!'

Time had long since run out for Anakin but in this moment there was still a part of him that longed to do one last thing. At his request Luke expressed his fears and through the Force he could feel their son's concern radiating from him. Though he didn't want the boy to feel badly the former Sith lord couldn't deny the fact that Luke's concern was touching. But despite this he refused to give into Luke's wish and once more he made his last request to which the young Jedi complied.

After Father insisted that he wanted Luke to do so, he complied. He was partially curious to see what his father looked like beneath the mask as well, but he was incredibly disturbing to feel that his Force signature was growing weaker with each passing moment.

As the mask was removed, Anakin found himself feeling both shy and conscious of his appearance. He could only imagine how he looked in Luke's eyes but as his eyes settled on their son he immediately realised that Luke did not care. The discovery immediately made him think of Dormé and as the Force continued to call to him the fallen Jedi found that not only could he sense his beloved's presence but he could almost see her from the edge of his view. 'Now go...leave me...' he said in struggling tones as he gasped for breath. It would only be a matter of moments before he would no longer be able to resist the call of the Force and he did not want Luke to bear witness to it. The boy was far too innocent in his opinion to be witness to such things despite the fact he had witnessed much death during his days serving the resistance.

Luke tried to argue otherwise and though this too was touching Anakin knew it was time and at the young Jedi's words Anakin gave a hint of a smile as his eyes began to focus on the image of his beloved. Though Dormé was ultimately the one who saved his soul, Luke too had played his part for if it had not been for his decision to resist the darkness Anakin wouldn't have experienced the vision that had saved him. It was with this in mind that the former Sith lord spoke his final words to their son telling the young man that he had saved him and that he had been right all along. That Leia, their daughter, needed to know this as well. While he wanted to apologise to her as well, to show her he was no longer he monster she knew him to be, Anakin could no longer resist the call of the Force.

Luke bowed his head as his father's body expired and slowly became one with the Force. Knowing there was little time for grieving, he took the armour with him on the ship with the intention of burning it on a funeral pyre on Endor. He took his father's final words and whispering through the Force to heart. Anakin Skywalker who fell, yet was redeemed through the love of his family would be remembered not for his atrocities as Vader, but for the Jedi he was. This is what he would tell his sister.

As Anakin's eyes settled onto Dormé, he could feel his soul beginning to drift from his broken shell and as he gazed upon her a smile crept into his features. He had completed his final mission and now he could finally go home. As his spirit left his body the fallen Jedi whispered one last thought to Luke in passing, a final goodbye: '_You will never be alone, for we will always be near...' _

Dormé looked on as Luke unmasked Anakin, feeling the Force drawing his spirit. The humble joy and pride he felt for their son brought tears to her eyes, though they were not shed. And soon, her own joy magnified as the time grew closer. The expectation almost made her giddy. All of the years seemed to melt away as her spirit was also transformed to her pre-Sith influenced days, yet her knowledge of the past events remained intact. The colours here were so vibrant and rich. The air was warm and clear as was the sky. She touched one of the native flowers to be assured that it was no illusion. When she looked up, it was then that she saw him.

Anakin held his breath as he felt his surroundings shift and grow distant leaving him in a place far more beautiful than anything he could have ever imagined. Glancing around, his thoughts immediately turned to her and for a moment he couldn't help but wonder if this too was but a magnificent dream. But suddenly he caught the all too familiar scent of rain-soaked flowers and almost immediately his eyes fell onto the beauty that was his beloved. Speechless, he could only watch as she gently touched the flowers nearest to her. Tears collected in his eyes as he prayed this was no dream, that this was real. She looked just as she did the first day he set eyes on her and soon, he realised that he too was in his body as it was before the darkness ravaged it.

It had been so long since those days before his fall that she almost didn't believe it to be true. There were no scars, no artificial limbs; he was completely as he was before. If it were not for his eyes, she wouldn't have recognised him at first. Though she had heard stories that in the realms of Harmony there were no tears, Dormé couldn't help crying as she quickened her pace towards him. 'ANAKIN!'

As her attentions turned to him and all coherent thought fled leaving in its place only the rush of complete and utter joy. It was only as she spoke his name that he was he able to pull himself out of his daze and rush towards her. 'Dormé, my love...It's over...we're free...' he whispered as he moved to pull her into a tight embrace. As buried his face in her hair, he murmured in a voice filled with joy, 'My dearest Dormé, with you I am truly complete...'

He was home. They were home. And they would never be parted again.

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A/N: Thanks for joining us on this wild ride. I hope we've peaked your interest enough that you'll want to read _The Ill-Made Handmaiden_ and coming soon: _The Empire_. Questions? Comments? Review, please! Tell us anything you particularly liked or didn't like. Be sure to check out _The Empire _preview listed at the LJ group and accessable via the main Anakin/Vader + Dormé portal. 


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